


I Really Mean It When I Say I Like You

by Absolute_Bint



Category: Big Bang (Band), GTOP (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-01 04:43:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 65,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_Bint/pseuds/Absolute_Bint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jiyong is a dancer for idol star T.O.P</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They were halfway through the last song when Director Woobin hissed his name for the hundredth time that night.

‘ _GD_ ,’ 

Jiyong looked over, recognising what it meant when the director had his sheets of notes crumpled between tight fists, lips drawn firmly together.

‘ _Cut it out_.’ 

Keeping up with the steps, slotting into his place when the song called for it, Jiyong threw Woobin a mock look of confusion, but he knew exactly what the director was so pissed about. Jiyong was doing it again. Dancing with too much energy, adding too many unnecessary flourishes and ad-lib moves. It’s distracting from the **talent**. 

_Talent, my ass_ , thought Jiyong as he chanced a glance in the mirrored wall at the man who stood in the centre of them, the idol that they danced for. He was barely keeping up with the steps, those that he bothered to follow were executed with minimal effort and sometimes it looked like he just couldn’t be bothered with it and simply stood there making the generic hand gestures that went along with singing. 

Jiyong was pretty sure that he hated him. T.O.P. He knew that most idols were like this, the arrogant attitude, the sense of entitlement and superiority, but that didn’t excuse shitty-ass dancing. It was as if YG completely dropped the standards with this guy; if you were going to be an idol then it wasn’t enough just to be a great singer, you had to be able to be charismatic and be a good actor and at least be a decent _dancer_. And what this guy was attempting couldn’t be described as dancing.

And to top it all off, he was an asshole. He’d barely said two words to Jiyong since he started dancing for him and that was almost two years ago now. 

‘That was great everyone, its coming along nicely,’ the director announced to the room once the practice had drawn to an end, but Jiyong didn’t miss the way the director’s eyes considered Top for a moment, looking like he was holding back on saying something. Obviously to tell him that he was a shit dancer, but unable to say it. 

Everyone was exhausted, as usual, moving to grab some water or a seat for a much needed rest and it looked like Jiyong was in the clear but then-

‘GD,’ here we go ‘I’m not going to tell you again. You’re a backup dancer, you’re supposed to _blend in_ not _stand out_ ,’ he stressed. ‘Cut it out or I’ll find someone to replace you.’

Jiyong was used to getting reprimanded like this so now he simply went through the motions.

‘Yes, Woobin hyung.’ Jiyong gave a deep bow and took a seat on one of the benches at the back of the room, catching his breath and sipping at a bottle of water. 

It wasn’t long before Minji was seated beside him. ‘I know, I know.’ Jiyong sighed, sensing an imminent scolding. He tugged off his beanie to fix his hair, absently wondering how there was still product left in it after almost 3 hours straight of sweating.

Minji smiled and reached out to ruffle his hair, receiving a death-glare for her efforts. ‘Yet you don’t quit. Is it really going to take you getting fired for you to get it in your head?’

Jiyong grinned with all his teeth. ‘Probably.’

‘Ji.’ Minji scolded and Jiyong saw the concern in her eyes. She’d always worried about him too much, even back when they were still trainees. Minji was as good as a second sister to him by now, what with also dating his best friend, Youngbae, a fellow dancer. She was also one of the few people who got away with calling him anything other than his stage name these days.

‘Alright, I’ll dial it back a little. Promise.’ he said, pulling his beanie back on and offering a convincing grin.

People were already leaving for the night, throwing goodbyes over their shoulders as they went. Jiyong would usually stay with Minji for a little while longer before heading to the bus station or the parking lot and this night was no different.

Jiyong was lifting his bottle up to his lips to take another sip when he caught a pair of eyes staring back at him. He didn’t like the way Top was looking at him, curious, like he was some animal in the zoo. Frowning, Jiyong looked away and sipped at his water, occasionally tuning in to whatever Minji was ranting about but he found himself looking back over at the singer who was still looking his way.

The guy was still just staring at him, eyes never straying from his, so Jiyong stared back purely out of insolence. 

‘What’s he looking at?’ Jiyong finally asked, still maintaining his eye-contact with Top.

Minji looked back and forth between them. ‘I think he’s looking at you.’

‘Obviously. But why?’

‘Maybe he’s thinking who they can replace you with that would fill the massive empty space of your ego?’ she smirked at her own wit.

Jiyong snorted and gave a mutter of affirmation yet still didn’t look away, he wasn’t going to give the guy the satisfaction of letting him win. It finally came when Top was forced to look away to talk with Woo-bin about his up and coming return to the stage. Relishing in the small victory, Jiyong gathered his stuff and followed Minji outside.

\--------------------------------------

‘Great work today, Seunghyun.’ Woo-bin clapped him on the back after dance practice was over.

‘Could’ve been better.’ Seunghyun muttered.

As his manager rattled off a list of dates and appointments, Seunghyun’s eyes wandered around the practice room until he caught the eye of one of the dancers, water bottle raised up to his lips. Seunghyun recognised him as the one that Woo-bin chewed into earlier; this kid thinks he’s some kind of dance prodigy from the way he pranced around the place, stealing the spotlight. 

Seunghyun studied him for a while, curious, trying not to smirk when the guy frowned at him and looked away only to meet his eyes again moments later. The guy started mumbling to the girl next to him but his eyes didn’t leave Seunghyun’s, like this was some kind of game. Seunghyun was thinking about going over there when Woo-bin came back, stealing his attention.

‘We’ve still got a bit of work to do before the tour,’ Woo-bin said. ‘You sure I can’t interest you in any extra dance sessions?’

‘Nah, I’ll be fine.’ Seunghyun assured him, although Woo-bin looked like he wanted to disagree. Seunghyun wasn’t a fool, he knew his dancing wasn’t as good as it used to be, and even then it wasn’t all that great. He just wanted to make music but in order to do that he had to put up with the rest of the bullshit that came with it. Interviews, fan meetings, TV show appearances. _Dancing_.

\--------------------------------------

The next day Seunghyun had endured two interviews, a fan meeting and a consultation with his stylists and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. He was tired and cranky and aching for something greasy to eat but knew that his diet wouldn’t allow for it, he was starting to wonder whether this summer comeback was worth it.

It was when he was headed to see Teddy in the studio that he saw him again. Well, _saw_ might be underselling it.

‘Shit, sorry, I-’ the dancer started to say, after rounding a corner and colliding with Seunghyun. But when he looked up at Seunghyun, his earnest expression changed to one of indifference. ‘Oh, it’s you.’

From a little investigation work, Seunghyun had learned his name; GD. Or at least, that’s what most people knew him by.

‘You’re that dancer,’ Seunghyun acknowledged, gesturing into the air with his hand. ‘Woobin hyung thinks you’re upstaging me.’

GD scoffed. ‘Not like it’s hard.’

‘Excuse me?’ Seunghyun was a little taken back by this kid’s bluntness. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You can’t dance,’ GD said it matter-of-factly, adjusting the snapback on his head before adding ‘Anyone could upstage you without even trying.’

‘Who are you to tell me that I can’t dance?’

‘You can’t.’ GD repeated, eyes alight with amusement.

Seunghyun floundered for a few moments, mouth agape. He wasn’t used to people being so blunt with him, especially when it concerned his dancing.

‘You know I’m older than you, right? You shouldn’t be talking to me like this.’

There was a spark in GD’s eyes that Seunghyun didn’t recognise for what it was. ‘People have to earn my respect.’ GD grit out, seething.

‘That’s not how it works.’ 

‘ _Bite me_ , idol boy.’ GD spat out and shouldered his way past Seunghyun and down the hallway, leaving Seunghyun speechless and alone.

\--------------------------------------

Seunghyun was sat in his studio talking with one of his producer friends, Teddy, when they somehow get onto the topic of GD and their little interchange.

‘I can’t believe someone actually said that to you. Hilarious.’ Teddy said once his laughter had finally subsided enough for speech to be possible.

Seunghyun shook his head, taking a swig of his beer. ‘I don’t know who he thinks he is, that little punk.’ _Bite me, idol boy._ Seunghyun huffed.

‘This is GD, right?’ Seunghyun nodded again. ‘Yeah, he’s got a bit of a reputation for doing that, butting heads with artists and whatnot.’

‘How’s he even lasted this long? Why hasn’t he been fired yet?’

‘When he keeps his mouth shut, he’s actually a pretty impressive dancer. And doesn’t he know it,’ Teddy explained. ‘You know he’s even got his own fan base?’

Seunghyun couldn’t help rolling his eyes. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’

\--------------------------------------

Over the next few days Seunghyun took more notice of GD. He saw how Woobin scolded him when he got too caught up in adding his own flourishes to follow the choreography properly. Seunghyun had to hand it to him; GD could dance. Like, he could _really dance_. The moves he pulled off flowed so seamlessly, moving wherever the music took him.

He watched GD on down time as well when he goofed around with the other dancers, how he’d go from laughing behind his hand to a full-bodied laughing fit, strewn across the practice room floor. He never looked that happy when he talked to Seunghyun and that’s what bothered him. Was it an age thing? Or could it be inferiority? 

Whatever it was, Seunghyun was determined to find out. GD was a mouthy little shit but there was still something about him that kept pulling Seunghyun in.


	2. Chapter 2

Seunghyun woke up to loud, incessant banging on the door to his apartment. Pulling the covers over his head, he ignored it and tried to find sleep again but it was just out of his grasp. 

The banging soon stopped and just when Seunghyun thought he was safe, his bedroom door burst open.

‘Seunghyun! We have a _schedule_.’ his manager, Sunghoon, stormed over to him and threw the covers back and Seunghyun was eternally grateful that he slept in pyjamas. ‘Yah! Get up already, you’ll be late for your interview.’

Seunghyun stared up at him, frowning. ‘You’re in my apartment,’ his eyes scrutinised his manager. ‘How’d you get inside my apartment?’

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. ‘You think I don’t have a key?’

‘That’s completely unethical.’

‘I only use it for times like this. _Get up_ ,’ he sniffed the air and frowned down at Seunghyun. ‘You reek of alcohol.’

Seunghyun grinned a little, remembering the night before. He’d gone to a bar with Teddy and a few of his usual entourage, he wasn’t too hungover but he did remember sweet-talking this noona at one point. He didn’t remember getting her number though. Damn.

‘What time is it?’ Seunghyun asked, rubbing sleep out of his eye.

‘Time to _get up_ ,’ Sunghoon lightly kicked the side of the bed. ‘I’ll be waiting outside.’

Once Sunghoon had left the room, Seunghyun swung his legs over the edge of the bed and shuffled into the bathroom to shower and begin another hectic day. He had to smile and answer the same old questions, to pretend like he didn’t want to just go back to bed where he could stay hold up in his own peaceful little world for a little bit longer.

It wasn’t often that Seunghyun got like this, disenchanted by his celebrity, but when it did it hit him hard. He longed for the rare days when he didn’t have a schedule to keep up with.

Seunghyun stood under the spray of the shower for longer than necessary, washing off the comfort of sleep and replacing it with the armour of his designer jackets and too-tight jeans.

He found Sunghoon waiting for him in the living room and followed him out to the car.

Once they were on the freeway, Sunghoon turned the music down to speak. ‘After this is wrapped up I’ll take you back to YG, shouldn’t take more than an hour or so,’ he glanced over at the passenger seat where Seunghyun was slouched, one foot on the dash. ‘You should hit the gym before seeing the stylists later.’

Seunghyun hummed in answer, rubbing a hand over his face. He set his sunglasses over his eyes and slumped down further in his seat. The day couldn’t go by fast enough.

Sunghoon chuckled, patting Seunghyun’s knee. ‘I don’t make the rules, kid.’

———————————————————

Seunghyun managed to get through the interview without saying anything too stupid, following Sunghoon’s suggestion and heading to the gym once they got to the YG building.

Dressing quickly, Seunghyun shoved his clothes in his locker. It wasn’t very busy inside, just the odd person using a machine. Seunghyun started with the treadmill; he hated running with a passion but Woobin had told him to work on his cardio so he endured it. 

It didn’t take long for Seunghyun to get bored. He’d barely been there half an hour but he was ready to call it quits, finishing off with a bit of bench pressing to maintain his biceps. It wouldn’t do for an idol to be in anything less than peak physical condition. 

Back in the locker room, it was empty bar for one. And _of course_ it would be him.

GD stood in front of an open locker, his back to Seunghyun. Towel tied around his naked waist, hair wet and dripping.

It had been a few days since their last conversation, although Seunghyun still felt a bit slighted, he still couldn’t reign in his curiosity. 

GD turned his head at the noise from Seunghyun’s entrance and Seunghyun watched him roll his eyes before he turned back to busy himself in his locker. Seunghyun’s eyes lingered on the ink curling around his sides, trying to decipher it.

Seunghyun quickly realised that he couldn’t just stand there leering all day. He padded closer, coming to a stop a few lockers down from GD, resting his shoulder against the cold metal.

He waited a moment before his curiosity got the better of him.

‘ _GD_. What does that stand for?

GD was fiddling with something in his locker but then after a few beats he answered ‘G-Dragon.’

Seunghyun couldn’t help it. He scoffed, which in turn received a glare from GD. _G-Dragon_. It was just so ridiculous. ‘That can’t be your real name.’

‘Of course it’s not.’ Seunghyun waited expectantly but GD didn’t continue.

‘Well what is?’ Seunghyun pressed.

‘Why?’ 

Seunghyun tried not to choke on his own spit when GD casually tugged at the knot of his towel, letting it fall away from his waist before he hung it up in his locker, hand coming back with a pair of red boxer shorts. Seunghyun had to remind himself that this was what happened in locker rooms, guys got naked around each other and were completely okay with it; Seunghyun on the other hand was _totally not okay with it_.

Coughing once, he averted his eyes as GD stepped into his underwear, looking back when everything that should be was covered up. ‘I just want to know.’

GD yanked on a clean t-shirt and Seunghyun found himself missing the ink that was underneath, wishing he’d taken the time to memorise it but it was all at awkward angles and not written in hangul. 

‘Why does it matter?’

Seunghyun smirked. ‘Just tell me. What? I can’t get to know my dancers?’

Seunghyun actually jumped back a little when GD slammed his locker door shut, turning to face Seunghyun and looking him in the eye, strands of brown hair made darker from the water grazing his taut brow,

‘I’ve been dancing for you for 2 years now,’ GD said, pointing an accusing finger at Seunghyun’s chest. ‘And you’ve never bothered to get to know me or any of us. Whatever this is, this-this good-guy PR stunt or some other bullshit, just drop it, alright?’ 

And then he was storming off and out of the gym, once again leaving Seunghyun alone with his confusion.

———————————————————

Jiyong walked into practice that day already pretty pissed off and it showed. He was filling up his water bottle at the fountain, having kicked at it when it wouldn’t work at first.

When they were slowly getting into position ready to get started, a fellow dancer, Junghyun, leaned over to ask ‘Hey, you okay man?’

‘No.’ Jiyong answered, glaring at Top’s back.

Junghyun laughed, slapping his back. ‘No kidding. I know what you need, bro. A few of us are going out on Saturday, you in?’

Jiyong hadn’t been out clubbing for a while and although he loved his job dancing routines, it was also fun to just dance freely for a change, to let loose a little.

So Jiyong gave a quick nod. ‘Sure, why not?’

‘Awesome,’ Junghyun grinned. ‘You think Youngbae will be up for it?’

‘I’ll let him know.’

‘Okay guys,’ Woobin said, gathering everyones attention. ‘Let’s start with “Turn It Up” and run from there.’ 

He gave Jiyong a warning glance before the music started blasting through the speakers and they begun.

———————————————————

‘This is the beat I was telling you about.’ Teddy said before he hit _play_ on the sound system.

They were in the studio working on a few last minute songs for Seunghyun’s comeback. Seunghyun was a little more distracted than usual today, not being able to find the right words when he was jotting down verses.

Seunghyun bobbed his head, nodding. ‘It’s good, you think it will work with this?’

He threw out a few of the lines he’d managed to whip up, trying to gage Teddy’s reaction.

Teddy seemed to like it. ‘I’ll tweak the tempo and we’ll be golden,’ Seunghyun caught him glancing away from his computer screen. ‘Where’d that bit about ink come from?’

‘GD’s tattoos. They’re interesting.’

‘What, his forearms?’

‘No. He has some on his sides. Some on his legs too, I think.’

Teddy raised his eyebrows. ‘Does he know that you’ve been spying on him?’

‘I’m not spying on him. I just noticed them in the gym’s locker room,’ Teddy’s other eyebrow came up. ‘Shut up.’

‘Dude this is, like, the seventh time you’ve mentioned GD in the space of an hour. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing, he just keeps yelling at me.’ Seunghyun just couldn’t get this kid out of his head.

And it continued like that into the weekend. Seunghyun attended an art exhibit and thought about GD’s tattoos. He sent a pile of dirty clothes to the dry cleaners and imagined if GD was as messy as he was. When his mom called on Sunday afternoon, he wondered whether GD talked to his mother as often as he did. 

When he walked into the practice room on Monday afternoon, GD’s hair was bleached a white blonde colour and he refused to even direct his frown Seunghyun’s way. Seunghyun figured that he was still angry at him. 

GD wore a loose-fitting tank top that practice, giving Seunghyun a better looked at some of his tattoos. He made out a string of roman numerals on his left shoulder and- was that a dragon ball?

This wasn’t exactly Seunghyun’s greatest idea. By not concentrating on top of his lacking dancing skills, it was no surprise that he messed up a lot.

By the end of it, Woobin looked about ready to tear his hair out.

———————————————————

One night after practice, Jiyong was hanging out at the apartment Minji and Youngbae shared, halfway through an episode of a drama that Minji was into when she spoke up.

‘You seeing anyone new yet?’

Jiyong shook his head, finger scratching under his nose. ‘No.’

When Minji didn’t say anything else, Jiyong turned his attention away from the TV to meet her dubious gaze.

‘You haven’t seen _him_ recently, have you?’ 

Jiyong felt his cheeks flush and grimaced down at his lap. 

‘Jiyong-ah! You promised!’ 

‘I know, I’m sorry, I-’ 

‘I can’t believe you’d go back to him!’

‘I couldn’t help myself! I saw him at JJ’s last saturday. I was drunk and he was there and I just-’ Jiyong let his head fall into his hands. He felt so stupid, and now Minji was guilt-tripping him like only a mother could.

She’d stopped yelling now but her voice still held an edge to it. ‘I don’t like him.’

Jiyong rolled his eyes. Minji never liked any of his exes. ‘It was just sex, Min. It’s not like we’re getting back together.’ 

He didn’t say it out loud but a small part of him wished that they were and he hated himself for it.

‘Good. Don’t,’ Minji could be scary when she wanted to be. ‘Stay for dinner? I’m making kimbap.’

‘Third-wheeling. Great.’

‘Don’t even. We both know I’m the third wheel here.’

GD barked out a laugh. She wasn’t wrong, his and Youngbae’s friendship ran deep.

Minji brought it up again once Youngbae came home, the three of them sat around their kitchen table.

‘He saw you-know-who on saturday.’

Youngbae looked up at her and then to Jiyong, expression calm as ever. ‘So that’s where you wandered off to.’

Jiyong looked down at his plate. ‘Can we not talk about this?’

‘Scold him, Bae.’ Minji goaded, nudging Youngbae’s shoulder.

Youngbae laughed but still gave Jiyong a look that made his opinion on the matter loud and clear. While Minji was more angry about it, Youngbae was simply disappointed.

‘Fine,’ Minji relented, eyes sparkling. ‘Let’s talk about Top.’

‘What about him?’ Jiyong snapped. Of all things, the last thing he wanted to talk about was Top.

‘You _like_ him.’

‘He’s an asshole and he pisses me off, why would I like him?’

She waved his words off, turning to Youngbae. ‘It’s just a love fight.’

‘It’s not anything,’ Jiyong stabbed at the kimchi on his plate. ‘He’s arrogant and cocky and thinks he’s better than us,’ as an afterthought, he mumbled ‘Doesn’t matter if he’s got good bone structure.’

Youngbae looked over at him dubiously. ‘Kind of sounds like you like him.’

With a groan, Jiyong let his head hit the table, feeling defeated at being ganged up on.

He could admit that Top was attractive, admit to liking him was another matter entirely.

‘You should be nicer to him, you know,’ Minji said. ‘Sounds like he’s being friendly and you’re biting his head off for trying.’

GD grunted his answer around another mouthful of kimbap, effectively ending the conversation.

———————————————————

At the next practice, Seunghyun sat down next to the girl that GD seemed to talk to most. He’d asked Sunghoon and he’d told him her name was Minji.

While GD, Woobin and a few of the other dancer were going over a new segment together, Seunghyun turned to her.

‘Minji, right?’ 

She jumped a little but smiled over at him, giving a small nod and looking amused. ‘And you’re Top.’

‘You can call me Seunghyun if you want.’ His stage name was far too impersonal.

‘Okay, Seunghyun,’ she grinned. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?’

He shrugged a shoulder. ’Getting to know my dancers is far overdue.’

‘I see. So what do you want to know?’

Seunghyun thought for a moment and settled on wiggling his eyebrows and lewdly asking ‘Got a boyfriend?’

She laughed, the response he was hoping for. Getting slapped was never fun. ‘Yes and he works here too so don’t get any ideas.’

He raised his hands up in defence. ‘Who is it? GD?’

She laughed again, as if what he had said was ridiculous. ‘I’m not his type. Besides, his best friend was hotter,’ she winked. ‘Youngbae. He dances for Seven oppa. The three of us joined YG at the same time. Been friends ever since.’

‘So you know GD pretty well?’

Minji had this look in her eye like she wanted to say more, but then she just nodded. At the sound of music, they both turned to face the group with Woobin.

Seunghyun watched GD suggest a few steps to make the segment transition smoother, demonstrating them for the others and helping them to imitate. 

‘He’s good,’ Seunghyun jerked his head over at where GD stood. ‘How long has he been dancing for?’

‘Professionally I think about 8 years now.’ Minji answered.

Seunghyun’s eyes widened. ‘8 years?!’

She hummed. ‘He wanted to be an idol star but no one would take him.’

Suddenly a lot of stuff made sense to Seunghyun. To GD, Seunghyun must be a constant reminder of what could’ve been.

‘Wait, so he sings?’ Seunghyun had a hard time picturing that spunky kid singing.

‘Yeah, not a bad rapper either. Nowadays he’s strictly a dancer though,’ 

Seunghyun was still watching GD, smiling a little when he goofed around, transitioning into part of a Kara routine. 

‘You’re totally his type you know.’

_Wait- so GD is… okay, that sort of makes sense._

_But Seunghyun isn’t…_

Well, he’s never really thought about it before, never questioned. He couldn’t remember a time that he was ever actually attracted to a guy, and the possibility didn’t disgust him like he thought it should have. But even if he was, he could never come out and say it. The public backlash wouldn’t bear to think about.

‘What? I’m not…’

‘Of course you’re not.’ Minji gave a knowing smile before getting to her feet and joining the others.

———————————————————

They needed to stop bumping into each other like this.

Seunghyun managed to walk right into GD on his way to the parking lot to meet Sunghoon.

He wanted to say sorry or something or _anything_ but they only thing that was swimming around his head was _gay gay gay gay gay_.

‘You’re gay.’ He ended up blurting out. He couldn’t help it, it came out like word vomit.

GD narrowed his eyes a little at him. ‘What’s it to you?’

‘I don’t- I’m not-’ Seunghyun struggled to think of something to say. ‘It’s just interesting, that’s all.’

‘Interesting?’ GD repeated. ‘Fuck you.’ he snarled, making to push past Seunghyun to leave.

‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ Seunghyun tried to explain. ‘Just, you don’t act like it, you know?’

GD rolled his eyes then stared at him pointedly, arms crossed over his chest, clearly not impressed by the conversation. 

Seunghyun sighed, admitting defeat. ‘I’m just making this worse. I’ll just go.’ 

So he walked away before he had the chance to say anything else stupid, typing out a quick text to Sunghoon saying that he’d meet him outside instead.

———————————————————

After an early morning practice, Seunghyun joined Minji in the cafeteria for lunch and they got talking again.

‘That wasn’t because of you, by the way,’ she said, referring to the practice they just had. 

GD had been dismissed by a screaming Woobin for showing off again and for talking back. As far as Seunghyun knew, he was still in the gym blowing off some steam.

‘He’s mad at me for telling you that he’s gay,’ she continued, waving her chopsticks around. ‘I don’t see why, it’s not as if he’s in the closet or anything.’

‘He may not be mad at me today but I know he probably hates me, I can’t seem to change that,’ he fiddled with a napkin, tearing the ends of it before meeting her eyes. ‘Is that why he does all that? To try to make me look bad?’

Minji’s eyes softened and she shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t take it personally, the way he acts at practice,’ Seunghyun could see her mind working, trying to find the right words. ‘Music. That’s his element. He’s so passionate about it that sometimes he just gets caught up in it. It’s worse when he’s upset.’

‘Why would that make a difference?’

‘Ji’s too impulsive. He doesn’t really think things through before he does them,’ 

There was that look again as she carefully chose her next words. ‘Being angry or upset on top of that and- he usually doesn’t make the best choices.’

There had to be more to it than that, Seunghyun knew. 

Although he didn’t want to pry, his curiosity had him saying ‘I get the feeling that there’s something you’re not telling me.’

Minji smiled wryly down at her tray. ‘I’ve already been scolded for talking too much about him behind his back, I don’t need any more reason for him to stay mad at me. Besides, it’s really not my place to say.’

Seunghyun nodded, though he wanted to know more, he didn’t push, accepting her answer.

———————————————————

In the relative quiet of his apartment with a glass of red wine in hand, Seunghyun found himself thinking about a certain dancer once again. He frowned to himself, this was starting to get weird; the amount of time he thought about GD.

Maybe it was just the mystery; if he found out more about him then that might help to satisfy his curiosity. 

So he reached for his laptop on the other end of the couch and pulled up an internet tab, typing into the search bar.

_G Dragon YG dancer_

It came up with a substantial number of results. Seunghyun scrolled through the first page, clicking on what looked to be a promising-looking fan page for the dancers at YG. It had profile pages for the dancers for different idols so Seunghyun went to his own page, quickly finding a tab entitled ‘G-Dragon’.

Seunghyun spent a while scrolling through pictures of GD on stage or walking through airports until he came across an audition video. The thumbnail showed a bright faced GD sporting orange hair, baggy jeans and an oversized t-shirt. He couldn’t have been older than sixteen and the way GD smiled at the camera made Seunghyun’s chest feel warm. So of course Seunghyun had to watch it.

GD was dancing to some old R&B song, executing steps flawlessly. Although the footage was a little grainy, Seunghyun could make out the little frown of concentration that GD wore even today. It wasn’t until the end of the song that GD broke out in a gummy grin, bowing a few times to the person behind the camera.

When Seunghyun scrolled down to view the comments, he found a stream of teenage girls gushing about how cute and talented GD was. One in particular caught his eye.

‘My dragon, he’s so cute in this vid! Love you Jiyong! Fighting!’

_Jiyong_.

Seunghyun felt like he’d just uncovered a national secret. Now that he thought about it, his stage name made a lot of sense. Ji-Dragon. It was pretty clever.

Scrolling back up, Seunghyun stared at the thumbnail of the video again for longer than he should have before he realised what he was doing. He shut the laptop quickly and put it aside, taking a long sip of his forgotten wine. This had to stop. Finding out more about GD- _Jiyong_ \- only made Seunghyun eager to know more, to know everything. 

He was going to go mad at this rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, feedback is appreciated!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Oh, and there is a high chance that there will be some smut in the next chapter so look forward to that ;)


	3. Chapter 3

At some point during the next week, Seunghyun had come to terms with the fact that he kind-of-sort-of-maybe had a crush on GD.

He had finally figured it out after their latest dance practice. Seunghyun had been taking a break at the back of the room, watching the rest of the dancers run through the routine. 

But he only had eyes for GD.

GD moved like water; his movements flowed so naturally, like that was what his body was created to do. There was something pure about it too, the flawlessness of his motions; the transparency allowed Seunghyun to see the undeniable passion behind it, the energy that GD created breathing life into him.

Seunghyun wanted to drown in him.

It was when Sunghoon had to physically shake him out of his reverie that Seunghyun knew he had it bad. Just looking at GD and his mind was creating poetry about him; it hit him like a tidal wave. He was in deep, and now it was all he could think about.

There was the innocent side of him that thought about GD’s eyes, how they creased into crescent moons when he laughed and how Seunghyun wanted to be the cause of it. He thought about his smile and his bow-shaped lips, almost feminine - he wondered how soft they would feel pressed against his own.

Then there was the side of Seunghyun that pictured GD writhing underneath him, wanting to trace his tattoos with his tongue, to make him scream his name.

It was all incredibly distracting. Something needed to be done.

———————————————————

As his summer comeback drew closer, the preparation meetings that Seunghyun loathed had begun. It wasn’t that they were completely terrible or that Seunghyun wasn’t interested, because he was; he wanted to put on the best possible performance he could for his fans. He just wasn’t very good at staying focussed for too long.

They’d been sat around a table in one of the conference rooms for over an hour, ‘they’ being Yang and several of the co-ordinators and directors that had been tirelessly organising the three week tour that would take them across Korea. The major points like venues had been set in stone for weeks, now it was just the case of figuring out setlists and stage effects.

Seunghyun tuned in and out of their plans, mostly concerned with how he could get his pencil to stay balanced upright. However, his attention perked up when they began discussing the dancers.

‘Like I was saying last week,’ Woobin began, speaking directly to the president. ‘For the contrast concept that we’re going for, it may be better if we just take the girls with us.’

_What?_

‘How so?’ Yang questioned, looking up from his notes.

‘For starters, it would cut costs which is always a good thing,’ Woobin responded, receiving a few sounds of agreement. ‘As well, it could make him more popular among his female fans, the jealousy from seeing him onstage surrounded by women and whatnot.’

Yang considered it for a few moments. ‘Hmm true, but what if that backfires? His female fans could get angry, you know what they’re like.’

‘It’s a calculated risk,’ Woobin assured them all, continuing on. ‘There’s also the matter of GD,’

That definitely sparked Seunghyun’s interest.

He listened as Woobin went on. ‘He’s been very difficult to work with lately, it would mean a lot less stress and hassle if we just took the girls.’

Before Yang or anyone else could comment, Seunghyun spoke up.

‘No.’

It wasn’t surprising that everyone in the room turned to look at him after his outburst. After all, it was the first thing he’d said all afternoon.

From the other end of the long table, Yang raised his eyebrows, questioning. ‘Seunghyun?’

Seunghyun spoke honestly. ‘I don’t want just the girl dancers. I want all of them.’

Seunghyun knew how hard the dancers had been working to prepare for the tour, it just wouldn’t be fair to them to cut half of them out. This was the main reason for his refusal and the one he would give if anyone asked. But underneath that he knew that mostly it was the thought of GD not being there, of seeing his disappointed face when he heard the news.

‘But with the concept-’ someone tried to say but Seunghyun cut them off.

‘All of them,’ Seunghyun repeated. ‘Change the concept.’

As the directors began to splutter out objections, Yang raised his hand to quieten them before speaking. ‘We don’t need to do anything that hasty. Stick with the concept, contrasting outfits and lighting should be enough to get the message across.’

When Yang looked his way once discussion had started up again, trying to figure him out, Seunghyun gave a small smile and tried to look attentive.

———————————————————

At the end of their next dance practice, the majority of people having left, Seunghyun found himself with an opportunity. 

GD was alone for once, a significant lack of Minji attached to his side. So Seunghyun waited outside of the practice room for him to leave, and once GD came walking towards him, iPod and earphones in hand, Seunghyun blocked his path.

‘We need to talk.’ Seunghyun told him, trying not to let the irritation showing on GD’s face put him off.

‘Do we?’ GD retorted, eyebrow raised.

Seunghyun coughed once, clearing his throat, making eye contact with GD and then having to glance down the hallway to avoid it. _Why was this so hard?_ He’d asked out plenty of girls before, this couldn’t be that different.

So Seunghyun took a breath to prepare himself before asking ‘Can we go and get dinner together? Or something like that?’

GD looked a little taken back. ‘What, like a date?’ he sounded skeptical. _Oh god_. Why didn’t Seunghyun realise how stupid this was? GD hates him, of course he wouldn’t want to go out with him.

Embarrassed but trying not to show it, Seunghyun looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘What? No! I’m not- that.’

That seemed like the wrong thing to say too. At his words, GD’s face flushed and he pursed his lips. Shit, maybe Seunghyun had read this all wrong.

‘I didn’t mean it like that!’ Seunghyun hurried to try and fix this. ‘It’s not that dating you would be bad, I- can’t we just get dinner? And talk?’

But Seunghyun had already lost him. GD was shaking his head, face still red as he veered past Seunghyun. ‘I don’t have time for this.’

Once Seunghyun was sure he was alone, he let out a frustrated groan, slumping against the wall of the hallway. 

———————————————————

‘He thinks you were just making fun of him before, when you asked him out.’

Seunghyun had spotted Minji when he came to the cafeteria and figured it was a good opportunity to ask her for some advice. Although she was cold with him at first when he sat down, she agreed to help.

‘I didn’t- his reaction, he seemed unimpressed at the idea of a date,’ Seunghyun tried to explain. ‘So I said it wasn’t and then he just looked _upset_.’ He rubbed a hand against his temples.

‘He thinks you’re toying with him.’ Minji told him.

Seunghyun frowned, dropping his hand. That was the last thing he wanted GD to think. 

‘Why would he think that?’

‘Ji’s relationship history is a little…’ and there was that look again, Seunghyun could see the conflict in her eyes as they darted around the room. ‘Unhealthy,’ she finally settled on. ‘It’s not that much of a stretch to think that you’re playing him.’

‘I’m not, I swear,’ Seunghyun assured her, trying to put his identity crisis into words. His eyes fixed on the table as he spoke. ‘I need to talk to him to figure this out. I’m pretty sure I like him, but- I don’t know. I’ve never been into guys before but then there’s _him_. This is hard for me.’

When he looked back up, Minji considered him with sympathetic eyes and a wry smile. She reached out a hand, squeezing his arm. ‘Don’t tell me. Tell him.’

Minji had a point. Seunghyun had to make GD see that he actually wanted this, to try to make something work between them. Or at least to be given the chance. Now if only he could get GD to stop running away…

———————————————————

It was one of those rare days when Seunghyun didn’t have a busy schedule. Once he was free from responsibility, he went off in search of GD. They didn’t have a practice that day but Seunghyun was sure that he would be around the YG building somewhere.

Seunghyun tried the gym with no such luck. The break rooms were much the same; a significant lack of GD. He wasn’t in the cafeteria either.

There was only so many places that GD could be so Seunghyun started patrolling the hallways. It was only by chance that he walked past one of the practice rooms and a flash of movement caught his eye.

Peering in through the glass of the door, Seunghyun found GD dancing alone. After a few seconds Seunghyun realised that he couldn’t recognise any of the steps GD was making and he smiled fondly. This was just GD dancing. No choreography, no routine; just him.

GD was clad in sweats and that damn tank top again, a backwards-facing snapback keeping his hair in place. Through the door Seunghyun could only just make out the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor every so often, and then there was the music. It was some pretty old school hip-hop for a couple of songs and then it changed to something more mainstream as Seunghyun continued to watch him undetected.

After a while Seunghyun felt like a bit of a creep for watching GD for so long. So he walked in.

As soon as he pushed the door open, GD’s eyes were on him. They made eye-contact and GD flinched a little but his steps didn’t falter. He kept dancing, ignoring Seunghyun as he stepped further into the room, circling around GD like a lion stalking its prey. Seunghyun was determined to make something happen that day.

Another minute of watching GD’s every move and then GD finally put a stop to everything. He stomped over to the speakers, cutting off the music that was pumping around the room. He glared pointedly over at Seunghyun.

‘What are you doing?’ he had his hands on his hips, panting softly, sweat glistening on his forehead and soaked through his tank top.

‘What, I’m not allowed in the practice rooms anymore?’ Seunghyun teased.

‘There was other rooms.’ GD pointed out.

Seunghyun smirked, glancing away. ‘They’re not nearly as interesting.’

When he looked back over at him, GD’s eyes were narrowed in on him.

‘Get out.’

‘But I wanted to dance with you,’ Seunghyun said innocently enough. GD just scoffed. ‘Why not? Surely I can’t be that bad.’

With a roll of his eyes, GD stepped away from the speakers, a step closer to Seunghyun. ‘Trust me, you are,’ GD looked him up and down. ‘I wouldn’t waste my time on someone whose hips move like that.’

‘What’s wrong with the way I move my hips?’

GD barked out a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘That’s the thing, _you can’t_. You dance like you have a stick up your ass. God knows how you made it as an idol.’

That struck a nerve with Seunghyun.

‘Hey,’ Seunghyun warned, taking a step toward him. ‘I spent years training for this so don’t brush it off as if it was nothing, as if I didn’t work to be here.’

GD was quick to retaliate, voice rising. ’We _all_ worked hard to be here. Stop acting like you’re so superior to the rest of us.’

Was this seriously what people thought of him? That he was conceited? That he looked down on them? 

‘I’m _not_. When have I ever done that?’

‘When have you ever tried to talk to any of us?’

‘When have any of you ever tried talking to me?’ Seunghyun’s voice came out so loud that it echoed around the room.

That shut GD up. He had the decency to look a little embarrassed. As Seunghyun took a step towards him, GD took one back. Seunghyun smirked down at his feet.

‘But that isn’t what this is about, is it?’ Seunghyun took another step, GD was still backing up. It all made sense now. Was it really this simple?

‘What are you talking about?’ GD’s eyes were on the door, probably planning his escape.

‘You wanted me to talk to you?’

‘No.’ GD spluttered out but his cheeks were pink and it wasn’t from exertion. Seunghyun was right and GD couldn’t deny it now.

It all fell into place in Seunghyun’s mind; GD liked him, or at least found him attractive. He may not have been showing off during practice to specifically get Seunghyun’s attention but now he had it and he liked it. 

Now that Seunghyun realised that GD could like him back, that this was mutual, he found that onstage confidence within him and pressed forward.

‘You like me.’ Seunghyun couldn’t help but grin as he said it.

‘No I don’t.’ GD was still backing up, not aware that he was edging closer and closer to the mirrored wall behind him.

‘And I like you.’

At his words, GD’s eyes fell shut for a moment. His flushed cheeks may have given away his embarrassment but his eyes remained strong as they met Seunghyun’s. ‘Shut up.’ he mumbled.

‘Why is it so hard for you to accept that I like you?’

When Seunghyun took his next step, GD’s back hit the mirror behind him and he started like an animal caught in a trap. He made to escape but Seunghyun was faster. He took his final step and pressed his hands to the wall on either side of GD, boxing him in.

Up this close, Seunghyun could appreciate the brown of GD’s eyes, lighter than he’d anticipated. The light sheen of sweat on his brow, glinting off the divots of his clavicle, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

Seunghyun knocked the snapback off of GD’s head simply to get a rise out of him and he wasn’t disappointed. GD’s eyes were ablaze, a little challenging, like he was daring Seunghyun to do something that he didn’t have the guts for. Seunghyun wasn’t too sure about that himself but he was going to try.

Holding his fiery gaze, Seunghyun closed the distance and brought his hips flush with GD’s.

GD’s mouth dropped open and when Seunghyun gave a slow, experimental roll of his hips, GD’s eyes fluttered and he looked away, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

‘You don’t like the way I move my hips?’ Seunghyun baited. 

GD chanced a look back at him, muttering a defiant ‘no’ that wasn’t convincing either of them.

So Seunghyun leant his head in a little closer, GD’s head turning away further at the proximity. Seunghyun ducked his head to run his nose up from GD’s exposed clavicle, across his jaw line to his ear, lips brushing the shell of it as he whispered, his voice low, thick vibrations from his chest. ‘Then show me how.’

GD spoke carefully, still not looking at him. ‘I thought you said you weren’t.’

Seunghyun knew what he meant. It was a worthy question, one that Seunghyun wasn’t fully ready to answer. He didn’t have all the answers for this yet, but there was one thing he knew for sure.

‘I’m not. It’s just you.’

There was no denying now that GD wanted this too, wanted him. Seunghyun could feel it against his hip that GD was hard in his sweats and _wow, that was new_ , but it wasn’t as weird as Seunghyun thought it would be. It was still the heat and proof of attraction, the radiating warmth that got Seunghyun hot and his guts clenching.

As Seunghyun circled his hips once more, bumping his own erection against GD’s, GD gave in with a small noise, hips twitching forward.

Seunghyun lips lifted into a small smile as GD’s hands moved tentatively to sit low on Seunghyun’s hips, gripping tightly, muttering ‘You’re too locked up. Here.’ And then he was shaking Seunghyun’s hips a little, experimentally moving his own in a fluid motion and encouraging Seunghyun’s to follow.

It took a few moments but they soon found a rhythm that worked and it felt so good, so Seunghyun forwent his ruse, instead choosing to grind his hips down against GD’s. As he pressed more firmly, he heard GD’s breathing start to get uneven, GD’s hands moved to rest against Seunghyun’s chest and Seunghyun could’ve sworn he saw the trace of a smile on his face.

As another ripple of pleasure shot through Seunghyun, he kicked GD’s feet apart and wedged his thigh between GD’s, sweaty hands squeaking against the mirror as he moved them to grab a hold of GD’s ass. Using his newfound grip, Seunghyun brought GD impossibly closer, hiking him upwards with every roll of his hips.

GD’s breath hitched and his hands shot up from Seunghyun’s chest to his shoulders where he found better leverage, his hips moved a little differently and Seunghyun fought to catch up with him. Seunghyun was so close after an embarrassingly short amount of time but it seemed that GD wasn’t far behind him.

It was when warm, delicate fingers raked through his hair that Seunghyun’s hips began to stutter and he couldn’t hold it off any longer. He grunted out his release, hands squeezing round ass cheeks and keeping GD pressed against him as he rode out his orgasm.

Once he’d come back to himself, Seunghyun acted quickly, bringing one hand between them and shoving it down the front of GD’s sweats. _His hand was on another guy’s cock_. Before Seunghyun could think too deeply about it and psych himself out, he gave GD’s cock a quick squeeze, heat spreading in his gut when GD cried out.

It was just like touching himself but at the wrong angle. GD was already pretty close so Seunghyun made quick work of him and soon enough GD’s hips were moving in earnest, thrusting into Seunghyun’s fist, doing things that should be illegal before he finally came with a noise that sounded ripped from his chest. Seunghyun watched his face as it happened, how his eyebrows drew together, eye clenched shut and bitten lips parted. _Beautiful_.

Seunghyun wiped his hand on the inside of GD’s underwear before pulling it back out, waiting for GD to get his breath back.

A few moments later and GD’s eyes opened and they were so warm, so earnest, but then there was a flash of panic and they reverted back to what Seunghyun had grown accustomed to seeing from GD.

GD’s hands pushed at Seunghyun’s shoulders, giving him room to slip out of the embrace and over to one of the benches to wordlessly pick up his bag. Seunghyun was so confused; they’d just had that amazing moment together and now GD was shutting him out?

Seunghyun tried to stop him. ‘Ji- wait, I-’ but GD was already storming out of the practice room, flinging open the door with so much ferocity that it slammed against the wall and bounced back. And then he was gone. Again. GD had gone and run away from him, from this.

Sighing, Seunghyun rubbed at the back of his neck before wrinkling his nose down at his jeans. He was a little uncomfortable about his pants situation since he’d just came in them like a damn teenager.

As he went to go and change out of them, Seunghyun’s foot knocked into something on the floor. GD’s hat. He bent down and picked it up, turning it over in his hands. Seunghyun could’ve just left it there, he supposed, but instead he took it with him as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> I'm going to try and update this at least once a week so keep an eye out for that.  
> Can't promise anything as I'm a student working 2 jobs with a lot of coursework due soon haha ^_^ but I'll try my best.  
> Thanks for reading! <3


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Seunghyun saw GD again was two days later. Seunghyun was running a bit late; the photo shoot he was coming from had taken longer than they thought - the photographer was struck with inspiration, or something like that. 

He speed-walked through the corridors with Sunghoon in tow, finally making it to the practice room twelve minutes later than he should’ve. Everyone was still warming up so it didn't look as though Seunghyun had missed much, even Woobin didn’t look too pissy about his late entrance. 

Scanning the room, Seunghyun quickly spotted him. GD was sat on the floor re-lacing his sneakers, idly chatting with another dancer that Seunghyun recognised. It was only when Woobin called for Seunghyun that GD looked up, eyes soon falling on him. Seunghyun smiled, testing the waters, trying to gage a reaction from him, but GD’s face was surly and red as he looked away. 

It looked like the progress that Seunghyun had made with him was all for nothing now. GD couldn’t even bear to look at him anymore. But Seunghyun was nothing if not persistent.

Woobin called for practice to begin so everyone slowly moved into formation, Seunghyun inordinately aware of GD taking his place behind him on his right. 

They jumped straight into the first song and Seunghyun for the most part spent it trying to catch GD’s eyes with no such luck. GD remained focused on his dancing, so Seunghyun chose to do the same. 

When he took the time to concentrate on what he was doing, Seunghyun wasn’t actually a bad dancer. Usually he could get away with faking his way through most of the routines but he’d been watching GD so much lately that most of the steps had ingrained themselves in his head and he found himself making it through the choreography with minimal issues. 

By the end of the session, Woobin had yelled at GD twice for stepping out of line and GD had managed to avoid looking at Seunghyun the entire time.

‘That was great everyone, excellent progress,’ Woobin announced to the room, his eyes then landing on Seunghyun. Then it got weird because Woobin was actually smiling at him. Seunghyun even checked and- nope, there was no one stood behind him; Woobin was definitely smiling at him. ‘Seunghyun, a lot more invested than usual. What’s changed?’

Blanching at the praise, Seunghyun struggled to come up with an answer, but once he found one he fought to keep his smirk under control and his voice steady. ‘It was GD, actually. He treated me to a one-on-one session. I think it really helped.’

And then everyone’s eyes were on GD. Credit to him, GD stared defiantly back, meeting their eyes, but he was betrayed by his fingers tugging at the hem of his t-shirt which broadcasted how uncomfortable he felt at the sudden attention.

Woobin gave a slow nod, seemingly accepting his answer. ‘If that’s the case then keep it up, get together for another practice when you’ve both got time.’

GD spluttered at Woobin’s proposal, indignant, stepping forward ready to object but Seunghyun beat him to it. ‘Of course. Will do.’

They’d called it a day so Seunghyun got his stuff ready, sending Sunghoon down to get the car. Seunghyun was one of the first to leave, grinning to himself when he caught sight of GD scrambling to gather his things together, racing out of the room after him.

‘Hey!’ Seunghyun heard him call but didn’t look back, extending his strides to make GD fight to catch up to him. ‘HEY!’ The squeaking of sneakers on the floor and then he was grabbed at his elbow and yanked back.

Seunghyun regarded GD’s pinched expression, mouth quirking upwards as he offered a casual ‘Hey.’

GD didn’t find it too funny. ‘What the hell was that?’ he pointed a finger back at the practice room.

Seunghyun shrugged a shoulder; playing dumb usually got a rise out of him. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

GD exhaled violently, shaking his head. ‘Look, what happened the other day-’

‘It was pretty hot.’

‘-it was a _mistake_ ,’ GD stressed, brown eyes flickering between Seunghyun’s, insistent. ‘It’s not happening again.’

Seunghyun didn’t believe that for a second. He took a step forward, leaning into GD’s space. Seunghyun couldn’t help himself, he itched to be closer to GD; he’d been given a taste of what it was like to be with him and now he couldn’t get enough. ‘Looks like it’s going to be happening a lot more now.’ 

It was so easy to say these things now that Seunghyun knew that his feelings were reciprocated, like how easy it was to find that confidence within himself when he was up on stage. 

‘You know what I meant,’ GD said, then frowned a little at their closeness and distanced himself again. ‘Stop it.’

‘Stop what, Jiyong?’ Seunghyun asked, not realising what he’d said until he saw the fire in GD’s eyes, the hurt, the betrayal. Seunghyun didn’t understand why a name could warrant all these emotions but looking down at GD there was no denying it. Maybe he’d over stepped a line here.

GD tried to keep his voice firm but it wavered slightly in the middle. ‘No, you don’t get to call me that.’

The other dancers had started to filter out of the practice room so Seunghyun knew that this conversation wasn’t going to last much longer. 

‘Why not?’ Seunghyun pressed on, genuinely curious. 

‘Because I said so,’ GD snapped back. Seunghyun was still leaning into his space, fingers extending to brush GD’s arm before they were slapped away. ‘ _Stop it_.’

‘Stop what?’

‘This. Stop this. All of it,’ GD had had enough. He shoved Seunghyun away with a hand to his chest. ‘It’s not funny.’

Seunghyun caught GD’s wrist before he could withdraw his hand, ducking his head down to GD’s level as he spoke. ‘I’m not trying to be funny. I like you. Why is that so hard for you to believe?’

But GD was already shaking his head, squirming, managing to snatch his wrist back and then he was bolting down the hallway.

Seunghyun let the sigh rush out of him, rubbing at the side of his face.

And the next thing he knew, Minji was stood in front of him not looking very impressed.

‘I fucked up, I know.’ Seunghyun said, sidestepping her and heading for the parking lot.

‘Yeah, you did,’ Minji didn’t bother to lighten the blow as she followed him, telling it to him straight. ‘You hurt his feelings, Seunghyun.’

And that just made Seunghyun feel worse. He knew GD was mad at him but knowing he was hurt on top of that … it was hard for Seunghyun to stomach. 

‘I didn’t mean to.’ he said uselessly as he came to a stop round the next corner, because saying that didn’t change anything.

‘What did you expect? You can’t just go around getting people off like that.’

Seunghyun felt his face burning up. She knew exactly what they’d done in the practice room. He tried to justify himself. ‘I couldn’t help myself, he-’

‘I swear to god, you guys only think with your dicks,’ Minji sounded exasperated. ‘Use your head, Seunghyun. You said you weren’t interested and then you go and do that? What’s he going to think?’

Minji was right. Seunghyun had told GD that he didn’t want to date him, that he wasn’t gay, but he has no problem getting off with him. It’s no wonder that GD thinks that he’s using him, _experimenting_ with him, that he feels vulnerable and hurt because of it. Seunghyun’s never felt more stupid in his life.

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah, _oh_ ,’ Seunghyun had never seen Minji so angry before, it made him shrink back in on himself. She noticed and softened a little. ‘I know you’re not exactly used to dating guys, but it helps if you actually ask them out.’

‘I already tried that,’ Seunghyun whined. ‘It didn’t go so well.’

‘So try again,’ she said, patting his shoulder. ‘He’ll come round, just give him time.’

Seunghyun really hoped so.

———————————————————

‘Again.’

An hour into their first private dance practice and GD had already had Seunghyun repeat the same routine at least fifty time. Maybe a hundred times. Way more times than Seunghyun thought necessary, at least. But GD wasn’t satisfied. 

The practice had started off with GD running through the routines with him, dancing alongside him. But he soon grew irritable; he nitpicked every move Seunghyun made, snapping at him to go back and do it right. It ended up with GD stood at the front of the room, watching and critiquing.

‘Again.’ GD barked out, arms crossed and leaning against the mirrored wall.

Seunghyun held back a sigh, trudging back to his starting position and going from the top; he really didn’t respond well to military tactics. 

It’d been a few days since Seunghyun had last seen GD. Minji had been keeping him updated on how GD was doing, and from what he could tell from their current practice GD was past being hurt and was focusing wholeheartedly on being pissed off.

Seunghyun tried his best but at the same point GD still voiced his disapproval of his movements.

‘Again.’

_This is hopeless_. There was no pleasing him. However Seunghyun moved, GD managed to find fault with it. 

‘Again.’

‘Again.’

‘Do it again.’

‘Again.’

‘No, again.’

‘I said go _left_! Why are you going right?’

Finally, Seunghyun had had it. ‘Look, I’m trying my best, okay?’ GD flinched a little at his outburst. ‘Why don’t you help instead of yelling at me?’ 

GD had the decency to look a little sheepish, and he grew less vicious after that. He continued to watch Seunghyun run through the routine and instead of yelling about how he’d done it wrong, he offered guidance.

‘You need to throw your weight more to the left when step right on that last move.’ GD said, padding over to demonstrate beside Seunghyun when he didn’t immediately get it.

And it went on like that. At every point when Seunghyun messed up, GD showed him how to fix it. Originally Seunghyun had only agreed to these extra dance practices to spend more time around GD but his dancing was actually improving with the added help. Seunghyun started to feel bad for turning Woobin down so many times before.

When the session finally drew to a close, Seunghyun held his hand out to GD.

When GD just looked at it skeptically, Seunghyun rolled his eyes. ‘I’m saying thank you. Believe it or not, you actually helped me today.’

There was a moment’s pause before GD reached out and took his hand, shaking it. ‘You’re welcome.’ 

GD finally met his eyes and Seunghyun felt that stirring in his gut and had to remind himself not to do anything stupid. 

The handshake had gone on longer than was socially acceptable, by now they were just holding hands. GD soon realised and released his grip, letting go of Seunghyun’s hand and Seunghyun tried not to look disappointed at the loss.

‘Also, I’m sorry if I overstepped a line earlier,’ Seunghyun added. ‘Will I ever be able to call you Jiyong?’ Seunghyun went for lighthearted teasing, fully prepared for GD to lash out.

Luckily, the corners of GD’s lips twitched upward before he looked down at his shoes, responding ‘I’ll let you know,’ Then he cleared his throat, moving to leave. ‘Next time we should work on Doom Dada because your execution in that is appalling.’ 

He said it with a straight face but Seunghyun could hear a teasing edge to his voice. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost after all.

———————————————————

Jiyong was fairly early to the next practice so he took his time warming up at the side of the room. The session he’d had with Top hadn’t been as unbearable as he thought it would’ve been; Jiyong was still mulling over his embarrassment and wounded ego but Top’s apology had softened him up a bit, and it turned out that his dancing wasn’t a lost cause after all.

Jiyong was in the middle of stretching out his hamstrings on the floor of the studio when Junghyun came in and struck up a conversation with him.

‘I can’t believe we almost didn’t make it onto the tour,’ Junghyun said, rolling up one of the legs of his sweats. ‘Lucky break, right?’

Jiyong, confused to all hell, looked up at Junghyun like he was speaking another language entirely. ‘What are you talking about? Of course we’d be on the tour.’

But Junghyun was shaking his head, faux-hawk rustling, flashing a grin that only someone with juicy gossip would have. ‘Sunghoon was telling me that Woobin-hyung was planning to take just the girls,’ well, that was certainly news to Jiyong. ‘Apparently he was bitching about you in some meeting but Top shut him up. He fought for us.’

Jiyong nodded absently, frowning down at the floor. _Top stuck up for me?_ It shouldn’t have come as that much of a surprise Jiyong after what had happened throughout the past week. Top had made his feelings quite clear but Jiyong just wasn’t convinced how sincere this whole thing was, he was pretty sure that Top was just using him as a guinea pig to test out these newfound homoerotic urges of his. It was starting to stir up feelings inside of Jiyong that were better left untouched.

Mulling over Junghyun’s words, Jiyong’s eyes followed Top as he entered and began chatting with Minji on the other side of the room. Jiyong wasn’t a complete bastard; he appreciated what Top had done for him, for all of them really. Maybe Top did give a shit about them after all.

But what was Jiyong supposed to do with this? There was still too much rattling around in his head and his heart that he needed to get straightened out. He needed advice and between his two best friends, Youngbae was least likely to get involved or lecture him. So Jiyong pulled out his phone and typed out a quick text to Youngbae, telling him to come round to his place after he and Top had had their private session.

‘GD,’ Woobin barked at him. ‘On your feet.’

Jiyong tucked his phone in his bag and got into position, eyes glued to Top’s ridiculous Oxfords.

———————————————————

‘Woobin-hyung told us to improvise in this part so I guess you can just do your stupid-rapper-hand-thing here.’ GD explained, doing a vague impersonation of Seunghyun when he’s rapping.

Seunghyun laughed. Did he really look like that? ‘It’s not that bad.’

‘You’re biased, you can’t see yourself doing it.’ GD stepped over to his bag, pulling out a small towel.

Seunghyun liked how easy this was now, talking with GD. From the start of the practice he’d been softer in his words, even if it was just GD berating him most of the time. At least it was something.

‘Can we call it a day?’ Seunghyun asked. Having to do this session on the same day as the group practice had really taken its toll on Seunghyun; he definitely wasn’t allowing Sunghoon to schedule it like this again. ‘I’m beat.’

GD nodded, dabbing at his damp forehead with the towel and ruffling his hair. ‘You’re still terrible at _Of All Days_ so we’ll do that next week.’

Well, he wasn’t exactly lying; Seunghyun was improving, albeit slowly, but some of the routines still didn’t stick with him.

Ready to leave, he didn’t expect GD to speak up again.

‘I heard about what happened, in that meeting.’ GD said. When Seunghyun turned to face him, GD was fiddling with his bag, clearly trying his best to look casual.

‘Yeah?’ was all Seunghyun came out with. Of course, GD could be talking about any one of the meetings that Seunghyun has been forced to attend lately but he was pretty certain of the one GD meant.

GD still wasn’t looking at Seunghyun when he spoke but his cheeks were noticeably pinker. ‘Look, you stuck up for me, and you didn’t have to do that so … thank you.’

It made Seunghyun smile, that GD was thankful for such a small thing, something that Seunghyun hadn’t thought twice about. And to actually voice his gratitude as well … maybe Seunghyun really was getting somewhere with him. GD was getting less and less hostile with him, his criticisms more teasing than hurtful and Seunghyun was wary to push for more and risk losing what he’d managed to build so far.

Seunghyun had made up his mind. Being wary and cautious hadn’t gotten him anywhere in life. If he wanted this, then he was going to have to go and get it.

‘You’re welcome.’ As soon as the words were out of his mouth, GD took his leave, almost bumping into Sunghoon who came bustling in.

‘You ready, kid?’ Sunghoon asked, eyes not leaving his phone.

Seunghyun handed over his backpack for Sunghoon to carry, leading the way out. ‘I’m not a kid.’

‘If you’re younger than me, then you’re a kid,’ Sunghoon shot back, a few steps behind him. ‘I hope you’re in the mood for an interview because that’s where we’re headed.’

Cringing, Seunghyun slowed down his strides to fall into step with his manager. ‘You can’t be serious. I just did one yesterday.’

‘Yes but that one was about your music,’ Sunghoon took great pleasure in telling him, raising his pitch a little to imitate a typical presenter. ‘This one is about T.O.P: the person. So tell me, _where_ do you get your facials done?’

Seunghyun groaned, sulking for the rest of the walk to the parking lot.

———————————————————

As planned, Youngbae arrived at Jiyong’s apartment shortly after he got home. They settled in front of the TV, Youngbae on the couch and Jiyong laid back on the rug-covered floor, fingers playing with the tufts of fur as he spoke.

Jiyong knew that talking about this kind of stuff didn’t make Youngbae the most comfortable person but he was still Jiyong’s best friend and he was willing to help as long as Jiyong didn’t go too in-depth in the details.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ Jiyong told him, bringing an arm up to cover his eyes. ‘What would you do?’

‘Probably keep dating Minji since I’m not into guys,’ Youngbae quipped, eyes fixed on whatever was happening on the TV.

Jiyong lifted a leg to kick him in his side.

Youngbae laughed, swatting his foot away. ‘Sorry, I’m not much help,’ he looked down at Jiyong on the floor. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’

Jiyong let his arm fall above his head and stared up at the ceiling, sighing. ‘Tell me why you decided to go out with Minji.’ Jiyong never did get to hear about this side of their relationship. It just kind of happened that one day the two of them showed up and Jiyong was suddenly a third wheel.

It took a minute for Youngbae to respond but when he did his voice was soft and heartfelt. ‘Anytime she was in a room, I couldn’t focus on anything else. It drove me crazy, _she_ drove me crazy. And it was making me miserable so I just went for it, I sat her down and told her how I felt.’

Jiyong let his confession sink in, fighting to ignore the simultaneous fluttering and sinking feeling in his stomach when he thought about Top. He wondered why it couldn’t be as simple for them too, why they both had to keep complicating everything.

‘He said he’s not gay,’ Jiyong told him. ‘But in the practice room he- we did stuff and he was fine with it, he _initiated_ it,’ his eyes followed the faint cracks in his ceiling, lines that should be connected but were just out of reach from one another. ‘I don’t know what that means. He’s either serious about it or he’s just messing with me because his girlfriend’s out of town and he’s bored.’

Youngbae quickly shot down his self-deprecating thoughts. ‘Have you asked him any of this?’

Jiyong remained quiet and Youngbae huffed out a laugh.

‘Well there’s your problem,’ he said. ‘Talk to the guy. And stop making everything so dramatic.’

A giggle erupted from Jiyong’s chest and he rolled over onto his side, peering up at Youngbae. ‘You might be onto something there.’ 

Youngbae was right. He and Seunghyun really needed to get on the same page, Jiyong’s pride be damned.

‘Great. Now can we please watch this movie in peace?’

So Jiyong relented with his questioning, but it would only be a matter of time before Seunghyun tried anything again and Jiyong still wasn’t entirely sure how he would react.

———————————————————

When Sunghoon came over to him at the end of dance practice, ready to take him home, Seunghyun spoke up.

‘Actually, I have plans.’

Sunghoon’s eyebrows shot up, going from surprised to intrigued. ‘ _Really_.’

‘I’ll let you know when I need a ride.’ Seunghyun told him, focusing on sorting out his backpack.

‘Oh of course, I’ll just be sat by the phone, waiting for your call so that I can drop everything and chauffeur you around all night.’ Sunghoon said, raising his voice and throwing his arms around dramatically.

Seunghyun threw him a cheeky grin. ‘But isn’t that your job?’ he threw his bag towards him.

‘ _Part_ of my job,’ Sunghoon corrected, catching the bag with practiced ease. ‘Don’t push it, kid. And you better call me.’

Seunghyun nodded and once his manager had left, he went about setting his plan into motion.

GD was talking to a dancer with a faux-hawk when Seunghyun cut in, receiving a curious look from GD and wide eyes from the other guy.

‘I, uh, I’ll see you later, man.’ the guy said, bowing at Seunghyun before he hurried away from the two.

‘What is it? Is Wednesday not good for you?’ GD asked, talking about their next session together.

‘No, Wednesday is fine,’ Seunghyun said. ‘That’s not what this is about,’

GD looked expectant.

A long moment later and-

‘Come to dinner with me.’ 

‘What?’ GD hissed, eyes leaving his to scan around the practice room to check that no one else had heard. Then he surprised Seunghyun by pulling him by his arm out into the safety of the hallway where he raised his voice. ‘Are you out of your mind?’

It was a fair question. After all, Seunghyun had just gone and blurted it out, not really thinking much about the consequences, but he had a feeling that GD was more concerned with the chance of anyone overhearing them. 

Seunghyun was just so tired of dancing around the subject and he’d told himself that he was going to be proactive about this whole GD-thing now.

‘I’m not,’ Seunghyun assured him before repeating himself. ‘Come to dinner with me.’

The seriousness of Seunghyun’s voice must’ve let on something to GD as his eyes were darting around the hallway, ready to flee like a spooked deer. ‘You don’t really mean that.’

Before he had chance to escape, Seunghyun took hold of his arm, trying to diminish any doubts of his sincerity in GD’s mind. ‘Look, I’m not making fun of you or whatever else you think this is. I’m being serious. I want to take you out on a date.’

The word ‘date’ shut him up. GD stayed quiet, not meeting his eyes like a petulant child not getting their way. It was like he thought if he acted indifferent then he could just deny that this whole thing was happening. But Seunghyun had a say in this, he may not have a say in what goes on in most of the areas in his life but this was something that he had control over.

With his hand still holding GD’s arm, he brushed his thumb back and forth, GD’s eyes locking on to the movement and then back up to meet Seunghyun’s.

‘I just want to get to know you, to hang out without you running away all the time.’ Seunghyun said gently, trying to rouse a smile out of him.

GD still remained quiet, eyes flickering back and forth between Seunghyun’s. He looked a bit more contemplative now, like he was considering it.

‘Let me take you to dinner,’ Seunghyun tried one last time, lowering his voice to barely above a whisper. ‘Please.’

GD bit his lip and Seunghyun’s eyes zeroed in on the motion. And to Seunghyun’s surprise, a second later GD relented with a quiet ‘Fine.’

Seunghyun beamed down at him, grin stretched wide across his face, taking a step backwards and tugging GD along with him. ‘Great. Let’s go.’

GD’s eyes widened, his free hand darting up to his hair, currently a sweaty, blonde mess. ‘What, now?’ Which was understandable. They’d been practicing for over three hours and it was now nearing 9pm but Seunghyun didn’t want to risk waiting and having GD change his mind. Besides, what Seunghyun had in mind wasn’t anything too fancy.

Seunghyun offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. ‘Relax. You look fine.’

GD looked doubtful but when Seunghyun tugged at his arm again he came willingly, letting himself be led by Seunghyun down and out of the YG building into the warm Spring evening air. Seunghyun had long since let go of GD’s arm and walked in step with him across the street to a little 24/7 hole-in-the-wall barbecue place that Seunghyun had frequented a lot when he was still a trainee. The food was always good and the staff were discrete.

Once inside, Seunghyun guided them to a table near the back, letting one of the servers know what they wanted along the way. GD took the seat against the wall and proceeded to fidget for the whole two minutes it took for a waiter to return with a tray of side dishes and raw meat for them to cook, coming back a moment later with a bottle of soju and some shot glasses.

GD raised an eyebrow at the glasses and Seunghyun wiggled his back at him. ‘You are old enough to drink, right?’ He asked as he opened the bottle and filled GD’s glass.

At the jest, GD narrowed his eyes but still gave the glasses a questionable look. Seunghyun offered the bottle to him. ‘To take the edge off?’ he proposed, waiting until GD inevitably relented and took the bottle with both hands, pouring Seunghyun’s shot for him. It was interesting to see where GD’s respect began and where it ended, or was this him finally taking to Seunghyun?

He watched as GD turned his head and obediently knocked back his shot before Seunghyun followed suit.

Setting his glass down, GD made a grab for the tongs but Seunghyun got to them first, dodging out of his reach when GD tried to snatch them from him, smirking the whole time as he grilled the meat. He wanted to make this date good for GD, and to seunghyun that meant keeping him comfortable and a little tipsy.

GD had his hands clasped under the table, wringing them together. Seunghyun could tell that he was itching to say something but waited him out.

Finally, GD came out with it. ‘Why are you doing this?’

‘To cook the meat,’ Seunghyun replied nonchalantly, turning a piece over on the grill. Spotting GD’s glare out of the corner of his eye, he chuckled and laid the tongs down. ‘Because I wanted to.’

GD’s head shook a little. ‘You said you weren’t gay. What am I supposed to do with that?’

So that’s what he was worried about. Seunghyun set him straight. 

‘I know what I said. Because I can’t be, not publicly at least,’ he offered a small, self-conscious smile. ‘I also said that it’s just you,’ At that, GD began to look a little less put out. ‘There’s just something about you, I can’t explain it. I don’t even know if this will work, you and me, it could be disastrous for all I know,’ Seunghyun scooped out a serving of the cooked meat into GD’s bowl and then his own. ‘But I’d still like to try, if you’ll let me.’

GD’s eyes scrutinised him for a moment, maybe waiting for a tell that would prove that Seunghyun was lying. Seemingly satisfied, GD picked up his chopsticks, muttering a quick ‘okay’ before digging in to the food laid out in front of him.

And so they ate together in relative silence. It was a couple of shots of soju later until GD warmed up to him enough to where his answers extended past a couple of words.

‘Minji said that you’ve been dancing since you were a kid.’ Seunghyun mentioned, helping himself to some more kimchi. 

GD gave a nod, swallowing a substantial mouthful before responding. ‘Started doing it professionally when I was 14.’

‘Was this before or after the singing?’ Seunghyun asked, an amused smile working its way onto his face when GD’s cheeks flushed and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

‘She told you about that?

Seunghyun nodded, still smiling. ‘She also mentioned some rapping.’

‘Oh god.’ GD let his face fall into open palms, clearly embarrassed, making Seunghyun crack up.

Through his laughter, Seunghyun asked ‘Are you any good?’

GD peeked at him through his fingers, then let his hands fall back to his lap. ‘I’m good,’ he said, nose wrinkling as his expression turned a little sour. ‘Not good enough, apparently. YG would only offer me a contract for my dancing.’

‘You are a pretty amazing dancer,’ Seunghyun admitted, finding that he really liked making GD’s face turn that lovely shade of pink. ‘Do you have any demos?’

‘From a while ago, yeah.’

‘Can I listen to them?’

‘Absolutely not.’ GD snapped, but a grin was tugging at his lips. 

When the food was all gone and the soju had dried up, it left them with nothing else to do but talk. This would’ve been a more pressing problem before but over dinner GD had relaxed and opened up, Seunghyun would even say that GD was being civil. _More than_ civil, even.

GD leaned forward a little in his seat, chin resting in his palm. ‘So tell me. What did Woobin-hyung say about me in that meeting?’

‘I don’t know if it’s appropriate to use that kind of language here,’ Seunghyun said solemnly, breaking out into a smile when GD looked a little too startled. ‘Kidding. He may have mentioned you being difficult to work with though.’

‘Figures,’ GD muttered, grinning a little over at him. ‘And you stuck up for me.’

Seunghyun shrugged a shoulder, eyes falling to the empty grill. ‘The tour wouldn’t be half as fun if you weren’t there.’

Looking back up he saw GD’s beaming face still resting in his palm, knuckles sliding over to try and hide his smile.

When they’d officially overstayed their welcome at the restaurant, Seunghyun footed the bill before GD had time to argue and then they walked back across the street to the YG building where Seunghyun called his manager to pick him up.

‘Do you live far from here?’ Seunghyun asked GD, keeping an eye out on the street for Sunghoon’s car.

‘Not too far. I’ve got a car but I usually take the bus to work.’ GD explained what neighbourhood he lived in.

‘Let me give you a ride,’ Seunghyun suggested. When GD looked ready to objected, he added ‘We have to go that way anyway.’ which may have been bending the truth slightly.

GD bit his lip, pulling the strap of his bag further up his shoulder, but gave in quickly. ‘If you’re already heading that way, then sure.’

So they waited for Sunghoon to pull up, both climbing into the back where GD directed him to his apartment. GD watched the landscape flying by the window and Seunghyun watched GD, biting back a smile every time GD caught him and started up his endearing fidgeting.

It didn’t take too long to get there, GD promptly exited the car, holding the open door as he turned back round to face Seunghyun. ‘Thank you for dropping me home,’ he said, brushing strands of hair out of his eyes and smiling down at Seunghyun. ‘Tonight was fun. I actually had a good time.’

‘Me too.’ Seunghyun said, holding GD’s gaze as he asked ‘Does this mean you don’t hate me anymore?’ 

GD let out an embarrassed laugh, glancing away for a moment. ‘I didn't hate you, I just … have a preconceived opinion of idols.’

‘And now?’ Seunghyun pressed, eyebrows raised.

GD’s eyes sparkled back at him. ‘I’m open to reconsideration.’ 

‘Good.’ he murmured, trying to focus all of the things he wanted to say to GD into his gaze. _You’re beautiful. I want to hear you laugh forever. Your smile makes me weak. Never stop looking at me like that._

It must’ve worked because GD had to look away a moment later, flustered. ‘I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.’

Seunghyun kept his voice low. ‘Goodnight, Jiyong.’ 

GD hesitated a moment and Seunghyun feared the worst, but then GD nodded back, giving a quick bow in thanks to Sunghoon for driving and then shut the door, hurrying up the steps and inside his building. 

Seunghyun watched him as he went, waiting until he was completely out of sight before turning back to Sunghoon. ‘You can take me home now.’

The rest of the ride home was quiet, Seunghyun pretended not to notice as first how Sunghoon kept glancing at him in the rearview mirror but soon called him out on it. ‘What?’

Sunghoon raised a hand from the wheel in a pacifying gesture. ‘What? I didn’t say anything.’ 

So Seunghyun leant back more comfortably in his seat, thinking back on the evening and trying hard not to grin so much but finding it a lost cause. 

———————————————————

Due to Seunghyun’s fast-approaching comeback tour, their next dance practice was the following day. Seunghyun trudged into the studio with Sunghoon in-tow, not exactly enthusiastic at having to do more dancing. That changed when he caught GD’s eyes from the other side of the room, offering a small smile. GD’s brow furrowed at first, but then he was grinning down at his shoes despite himself.

When he turned back, Sunghoon was regarding him with a skeptical look, murmuring ‘Be careful, kid.’

Seunghyun frowned back at him, confused. What was Sunghoon so worried about?

Sunghoon shook his head and went to take his usual seat at the back of the room just as Minji found her way over to Seunghyun, biting down a smile.

‘Something happened,’ she said, eyes alight as they swept over Seunghyun head to toe. ‘He won’t tell me anything but I’m never wrong.’

Seunghyun glanced back over to GD, cackling about something with the faux-hawk guy. ‘Nothing happened. We just had dinner,’ Looking back to Minji, she was pleased but still didn’t appear convinced that she was being given the whole story, so he smirked, adding ‘I promise you’ll be the first to know if anything does happen.’

At that, Minji seemed satisfied.

Halfway through the practice, Seunghyun chanced a glance at GD’s reflection in the mirrored wall, surprised to find GD’s eyes already staring back at him. _He was looking at me?_

Adding further to his surprise, Seunghyun watched as GD’s reflection stumbled as he mixed up one of the steps. Throwing a glance over his right shoulder, Seunghyun found a red-faced GD falling back into the routine, vaguely registering Woobin shouting at GD to pay more attention.

Seunghyun felt himself puff up a little at the fact that he’d caught GD staring. That had to mean something, right? Seunghyun hadn’t had chance to talk to him yet about last night but he was fairly positive that it was a success. It felt like he’d been waiting so long for this to happen that it didn’t seem real and it had him worrying that maybe GD would turn around and say no to all of this.

‘The tour starts in two weeks,’ Woobin said to Seunghyun during a break, as if Seunghyun wasn’t acutely aware of this fact. ‘You need to really step it up with the practice if you’re going to be ready.’

Seunghyun just nodded along, letting Sunghoon speak for him and make more arrangements. Seunghyun’s focus was still on GD, watching him where he sat scrolling through his phone as Minji talked at him.

Eavesdropping, Seunghyun heard GD telling Minji that he was going to the bathroom. So Seunghyun hung back a minute before he slipped away from Woobin and Sunghoon, heading off out of the room and into the nearest men’s room.

Seunghyun found GD with his back to him, washing his hands in one of the sinks.

‘Hey.’

GD turned at the noise, wiping his hands on a paper towel. He arched an eyebrow. ‘You’re following me now?’ 

‘Yeah, and now I know where you live, too,’ Seunghyun pointed out, watching GD roll up the paper towel and throw it into the trashcan. ‘Last night. I’d like to do it again some time, if you want to.’

GD had his arms crossed over his chest, curled in on himself. ‘Yeah, I think I’d like that,’ there was a teasing glint to his eyes. ‘But this time, somewhere fancier and much more expensive.’

Seunghyun definitely liked this side of GD that he’d uncovered much better than the one that was coarse and bitter with him. 

‘Deal. But this time I get to walk you to your door,’ Seunghyun took a step closer to him, leaving only a meter or so between them. ‘I didn’t get to last night. Would you have invited me inside?’

‘I don’t know. Would you have said yes?’ GD followed his lead and stepped forward as well, closing the distance between them further.

Seunghyun shook his head. ‘I’m too much of a gentleman for that,’ he said, eyes roaming from GD’s eyes, down to his lips and back up again. ‘I don’t even kiss on the first date,’ Seunghyun stepped closer still, until he could just about feel GD’s body heat, a whiff of his cologne making Seunghyun a little dazed. ‘Would you have let me? Kiss you?’

GD didn’t answer, an amused smile working its way onto his face, but Seunghyun saw his eyes flicker down to Seunghyun’s lips for the briefest of moments which was answer enough for him. This was it. GD was here, he wasn’t running away, Seunghyun hadn’t had to corner or bully him into it. This was happening. Why was he more freaked out about kissing a guy than he was at touching another guy’s dick?

Swallowing down his nerves, Seunghyun lifted a hand up, cupping GD’s cheek and watching as GD’s eyelashes fluttered closed at the touch. Being this close, Seunghyun really noticed the height difference between them; he had a good couple inches on GD, making him crane his neck as he ducked his head down, leaning in and-

The creaking of the bathroom door swinging open startled them both. Seunghyun jerked his hand back as if burned while GD shuffled back a step, hand rubbing his neck. Seunghyun cleared his throat as they stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, the guy who’d just entered taking no notice of them as he headed to one of the urinals.

GD was the one to speak up, letting out an embarrassed laugh. ‘Um. We should pick this up later. I know this cafe that’s nearby, we could get coffee?’

‘Why wait? Let’s go now.’ Seunghyun spent most of his life waiting around but this was one thing that he couldn’t bear to wait for.

GD wasn’t swayed at first. ’What about practice? You really think Woobin-hyung will allow that?’

‘Let me worry about that. I’ll get Sunghoon to handle it,’ Seunghyun assured him, taking a step back towards the door. When GD made no move to follow him, Seunghyun brought out the big guns; smiling wide until he could practically feel the dimples on his cheeks. ‘Come on.’

Ruffling at his hair, GD mirrored his smile, ducking his head and leading the way out, Seunghyun following closely behind.

They ended up in a small coffee shop down one of the nearby side streets, two floors up. It was just getting dark out but Seunghyun put on a face mask and tugged up the hood of his jacket all the same. There was always a chance that someone could recognise him.

The place was empty except for the girl stood behind the counter, her eyes lighting up in recognition when she saw GD.

‘Jiyong. Long time no see.’ she greeted, ponytail swishing as she leaned forward on the counter. Her eyes flitted over to Seunghyun and once he’d yanked down his hood and removed his mask. Her mouth dropped open. ‘You’re-’

‘Hyori,’ GD cut her off, hands up in a pacifying gesture. ‘Be cool.’

The girl, Hyori, was still gaping at Seunghyun, starstruck, but managed to nod, quickly shaking herself out of it and smiling between the two of them. ‘Right. What can I get you guys?’

‘A skinny latte, please.’ GD said, hand digging in his back pocket, pulling out his wallet.

‘And- And for you, Seunghyun?’ Hyori asked, staring at him intently, leaning further over the counter. There may have been a time that Seunghyun would have been interested, would have flirted purely out of curiosity, but right now he was more concerned with the brief flicker of irritation across GD’s face and what that meant.

‘Just regular coffee is fine. Thanks.’ 

Hyori nodded, setting about making the drinks. ‘You guys go take a seat. I’ll bring them over to you.’ 

GD grinned. ‘Thanks, Hyori.’ 

He left a few notes on the countertop and led Seunghyun over to a table in the window, overlooking the quiet street. 

‘I think we need to start over,’ GD said, breaking the silence that had grown between them. ‘There’s been too much miscommunication between us. We should just get everything out in the open.’

GD was right; if Seunghyun had just been straight with him in the beginning then this whole thing would’ve been way less complicated.

Seunghyun gave a nod. ‘You’re right. I think most of that is my fault.’

‘Either way. Clean slate?’ 

‘Sure.’

Hyori set their drinks down in front of them with a smile and then went back behind the counter, Seunghyun saw her put in headphones and set about wiping down the machines.

‘Well, Minji seems to have divulged my entire life story already,’ GD smiled down at his mug, fingers curled around it. ‘So let’s start with you.’

‘What, you haven't read my wikipedia page?’ Seunghyun asked. GD’s smile widened and he looked away. ‘Oh my god, you have!’

‘Shut up.’

Through his smirk, Seunghyun blew on his coffee before taking a sip. ‘We can get to all the boring stuff later. Right now, I want to talk about us, whatever this is,’ he gestured between them. ‘Because I like you, but you haven’t exactly told me how you feel about me.’

Seunghyun watched him drag his mug closer to him before he gave Seunghyun a half smile.

‘Last week, I thought I hated you.’

‘You don’t hate me now?’ Seunghyun nudged GD’s foot with his own under the table.

GD kicked his foot back, smiling wider. ‘No, I don’t,’ he said. ‘I think I was more embarrassed than anything else.’

‘Why?’

He gave Seunghyun a bemused look. ‘You made me come. _At work._ ’

Seunghyun grimaced. ‘Well, at least you didn’t come in your pants.’

That made GD giggle, almost making the embarrassment worth it. GD brought his mug up to his lips, taking a cautionary sip, coming away with a smear of foam on his upper lip. Seunghyun’s eyes stayed fixed to the foam until GD set his mug back down and wiped it away with the back of his hand. ‘Yeah, that was…’

‘Hot?’ Seunghyun supplemented. Then he decided to explain himself a bit. ‘You know, I wasn’t intentionally trying to be an asshole, before. That’s just the way I know how to be confident,’ he said. Because it was true; Seunghyun wasn’t an overly confident person in nature and he worked hard to put on that front for the cameras. ‘But also, it was just really fun getting you riled up.’

GD narrowed his eyes. ‘You’re right. You’re an asshole.’ 

Two cups of coffee and a fairly aggressive game of footsie later, they both realised just how dark it had gotten outside and made to leave.

Face mask and hood back on, Seunghyun waited outside for GD. Hyori had called him back just as they were leaving and Seunghyun didn’t want to eavesdrop.

Standing with his hands in his jacket pockets, Seunghyun thought back over last night and their time in the cafe that evening. It was all so relaxed, he felt so at ease around GD but on edge at the same time, but it was a good kinda of nervous, like pre-show jitters. Anticipatory. Seunghyun soon realised that he was smiling like a loon to himself.

Not long later and GD came out, trying to suppress a grin.

‘What was that about?’ Seunghyun asked him.

‘Nothing,’ GD said, letting his grin loose. ‘She just wanted me to get your autograph for her.’

Seunghyun laughed, glancing back up at the cafe. ‘Sure, no problem.’

And so they made the short walk back to the YG building where Sunghoon was waiting, car running.

Seunghyun turned to where GD was swaying on the pavement, hands in his back pockets. Seunghyun wasn’t ready to end the night just yet.

‘It’s late,’ Seunghyun said. ‘You need a ride home?’

GD waved him off. ‘No, I can get the bus.’

‘You don’t need to get the bus.’

‘The subway, then.’

Seunghyun rolled his eyes, opening the back door. ‘Get in the car.’

GD only hesitated a moment before he climbed inside. Seunghyun shut the door gently and got in the other side, leaning forward between the two front seats to talk to Sunghoon.

‘You remember where GD lives?’

Sunghoon turned to him. ‘Are you gonna tell me why you guys cut practice?’

‘Maybe later.’ Seunghyun said, strapping himself in. Sunghoon sighed and pulled out onto the street. Seunghyun knew that he was pushing it with Sunghoon and it wouldn’t be long until Seunghyun wasn’t able to dodge his questioning. 

The whole ride to GD’s apartment, Seunghyun was jittery, leg bouncing up and down; he knew it was obvious to GD that he was nervous could he couldn’t stop. Anxiousness was bubbling up inside him; Seunghyun planned to walk GD up to his door, and then? Would he try to kiss him again? Would GD let him?

A door opening broke Seunghyun from his thoughts, his head snapped to the left to see GD climbing out of the car; they’d already arrived outside his place.

Holding on the door, GD ducked his head back inside the car, giving Seunghyun a shy smile.

‘Do you wanna come up for a while?’ GD asked him.

Seunghyun felt himself relax slightly, following GD’s lead. He smirked, asking ‘For coffee?’

GD bared his teeth in a grin back at him, stepping back and shutting the car door, waiting for Seunghyun.

Seunghyun turned back to Sunghoon, noticing how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel.

‘You can circle the block if you want, I’ll call you when I’m leaving.’ Seunghyun told him.

Sunghoon let out an exasperated sigh but didn’t argue as Seunghyun got out of the car, driving off as Seunghyun followed GD up to the door of the building.

They climbed up two flights of stairs, right down a hallway and then GD was digging for his keys, letting them inside his apartment.

Stepping inside, Seunghyun looked around; it was fairly small, an open-plan living room and kitchen to the right, doors to what Seunghyun assumed was the bathroom and bedroom to the left. Mostly, Seunghyun was surprised how tidy it was, the only mess being the piles of CD’s strewn across the floor by the stereo.

GD had to know how nervous Seunghyun was, which was ridiculous because they’d already gone so far but somehow a kiss felt more intimate to Seunghyun. 

Seunghyun watched him set his keys in a bowl on the kitchen counter before turning back around to Seunghyun, regarding him with what Seunghyun would describe as a look of entertainment. It was good to know that Seunghyun’s heart palpitations were amusing to him.

‘Did you actually want some coffee?’ GD teased, shuffling over to him.

He really didn’t, Seunghyun had waited long enough. He shook his head, stepping in close.

_Well, here goes nothing._

‘Would it be okay if I kissed you now?’

GD’s eyebrows shot up, grinning down at his feet and then back up at Seunghyun. Slowly, he gave barely noticeable nod.

Adrenaline pumping through him, Seunghyun let out a long breath, steadily bringing his hands up to GD’s face, remembering how prettily GD’s eyes had fluttered closed earlier. Seunghyun could feel the warmth of a blush heating his palms, giving him that last boost of assurance as he leant in and guided GD toward him and finally, _finally_ pressed their lips together.

Seunghyun had been building this up in his mind that part of him was worried that the real thing wouldn’t match up. Boy was he wrong. It was just as good as he thought it’d be, GD’s lips just as soft beneath his own, cautious, barely moving against Seunghyun’s. Tilting his head a little more, Seunghyun slowly coaxed more of a reaction from GD, feeling his exhale quickly out his nose against Seunghyun’s cheek, swaying into him.

It was slow and curious and sweet, everything Seunghyun thought a first kiss should be, and once he introduced his tongue into the mix he got to hear a half-moan-half-sigh from GD, his hands flying up to Seunghyun’s chest, fingers clenching around Seunghyun’s t-shirt.

If Seunghyun hadn’t been such an idiot about his crush then they could’ve been doing this ages ago, and being able to kiss GD really was fantastic, what had he been so worried about?

Seunghyun kept things relatively slow and after a minute or slow he leant back, their lips parting with a satisfying smack. Blinking open his eyes, he gazed down at GD’s now red and full lips, brushing a thumb over them, feeling the little puffs of GD’s breath. GD watched him back, hands still tightly fisting Seunghyun’s shirt.

Lips curling up, Seunghyun slid his hands down from GD’s cheeks to his neck and then his shoulders.

‘Can I see you tomorrow?’ Seunghyun asked, his voice coming out wrecked.

‘We work in the same building.’ GD said fondly.

Seunghyun squeezed his shoulders. ‘After work. Or for lunch. Or both,’ GD’s eyes widened a little at Seunghyun’s enthusiasm. He laughed ‘Kidding. Lunch tomorrow then? I haven’t spoken to Minji in a while.’

GD smiled up at him. ‘Sure.’ His hands still gripped Seunghyun’s shirt and didn’t seem to be moving any time soon.

‘I should go.’ Seunghyun said, a little reluctantly, but he didn’t make any move to leave, more concerned with the way GD was studying his lips.

‘Yeah.’ GD murmured, hands still not letting go of Seunghyun. GD caught him looking and grinned before pushing up on his toes, reconnecting their lips. It surprised Seunghyun a little but he had no qualms against kissing him back, hands dropping to his waist as GD’s tongue plundered his mouth, seeking out more. GD’s fingers found their way into Seunghyun’s hair and he groaned, tugging GD by the waist until they were chest to chest.

Things got heated quickly. GD urged him back, guiding him until Seunghyun’s back hit the door, GD falling into him as they continued to make out. Seunghyun could feels the stirring in his gut and knew that if this went on any longer then he would get hard and there would be no stopping him. He didn’t want anything more than to keep going but knew that they had to stop, he didn’t want to sully the evening by moving too fast and rushing things and Sunghoon was already mad enough at him.

Tapering things off, Seunghyun slowed it down and eased away from GD’s lips.

‘I really should go.’ He didn’t like it but there was a chance that Sunghoon would just leave him here at this rate. Not that Seunghyun would be completely against that.

GD looked a little sheepish but nodded, taking a step back and putting some distance back between them. Seunghyun straightened out his shirt and flattened his hair back down, giving himself a moment to calm down before he opened the door and stepped past the threshold.

He turned back to face GD. ‘Goodnight, Jiyong.’

GD, holding the door open, smiled gently back at him. ‘See you tomorrow.’

Seunghyun gave him one last smile before heading back down the hallway, hearing the door click shut behind him.

Back outside, Sunghoon’s car was waiting. Seunghyun’s hand was on the door handle, ready to get inside when he stopped and looked back up at the building, catching sight of curtains twitching on the second floor.

Grinning madly to himself, Seunghyun got into the car, fully prepared to take a lecture from Sunghoon about responsibility and time management. Seunghyun didn’t care, nothing could ruin that night for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise that this chapter is longer than the first 3 combined, I may have gotten a little carried away but I didn't want to split this chapter up so here you go.
> 
> They may have gotten together fast but don't think that'll be the end of their troubles, fair warning!
> 
> I'm loving the reception this story is getting so far, for my first gtop fic I'm pretty happy so thank you <3


	5. Chapter 5

‘Something definitely happened between you two.’ 

Jiyong tore his gaze away from Seunghyun to look at Minji sat next to him. Of course she would notice.

After the night that they’d kissed, Seunghyun had eaten lunch with Jiyong and Minji everyday that week that his schedule would allow for. And now that the tour was drawing closer, any free time that they had before was quickly disappearing. 

Aside from a few glances here and there and poking each other’s feet under the table (which Jiyong was pretty sure Minji was oblivious to), Jiyong thought that they had kept things between them relatively subtle. Because now there was _something between them_ and Jiyong had to fight to keep a smile off his face whenever he thought about it for too long.

‘Nothing happened.’ Jiyong stressed. Looking back to Seunghyun across the table, Jiyong found him pushing lettuce around his plate, trying to look indifferent but Jiyong could see the corner of his mouth turning up.

They’d talked it over one night after one of their practices, how Jiyong didn’t want everyone to know about them and how Seunghyun _couldn’t_ have everyone knowing. Having Minji or Youngbae knowing was fine but Jiyong couldn’t bear the thought of the rest of the dancers finding out, they might treat him differently if they knew he was fucking the talent. Not that they were _fucking_ just yet, they’d only kissed the once and Jiyong was still testing the waters to see what Seunghyun was comfortable with.

Clearly not satisfied with Jiyong’s answer, Minji looked between the two of them and smirked. ‘Liar,’ she then turned to Seunghyun, clearly betting on getting a better answer out of him. ‘Tell me what happened,’ When Seunghyun didn’t say anything, she whined ‘Come on! You promised.’

Before he had chance to speak, Jiyong cut in, aiming his chopsticks over at Seunghyun. ‘Don’t say anything. It’ll drive her nuts.’

Seunghyun seemed amused but remained quiet, taking a sip of water.

‘So something _did_ happen,’ Minji pressed, looking thoroughly pleased with her investigation work. Well, shit. That hadn’t worked very well. ‘Wait until I tell Youngbae.’

Jiyong waved her off. ‘Oh, I already told him everything.’

‘You what?’ she spluttered, eye narrowing off in the distance. ‘That little shit knew and didn’t say anything.’

Jiyong lost it, dropping his chopsticks and hunching over himself as laughter wracked through his body. He couldn’t help himself, Minji got so worked up when she wasn’t in on the gossip.

‘You’ve been talking to your friends about me?’ Seunghyun peered over at Jiyong, gaze intense enough to make Jiyong’s laughing fade away. He felt the toe of Seunghyun’s shoe rubbed at his ankle.

Jiyong cleared his throat as he picked his chopsticks back up. ‘Just Youngbae. But he doesn’t want to hear details any more than I want to share them with him.’ 

Minji nudged him with her bony elbow. ‘So does your mom know?’

Jiyong choked on his mouthful. ‘ _Jesus_ , Min! Of course not,’ he chanced a look over at Seunghyun, finding his eyes dancing with amusement. Jiyong’s lips twitched up into a smile. ‘This is still new, don’t get ahead of yourself.’ he told her.

‘Well, I’m offering my blessing anyway. You guys look good together,’ she said, slipping into the motherly role that she’d claimed for herself years ago. ‘But do you have to play footsie the whole damn time?’

Jiyong’s face burnt up as Seunghyun snorted. Ignoring the comment, Jiyong picked up his tray. ‘We’ve got a room booked for practice, we better get going.’ he said to Seunghyun, trying to calm the blush on his cheeks.

Seunghyun nodded, moving to do the same. Jiyong had just taken a step away from the table when he heard Seunghyun’s voice murmuring ‘We totally made out.’

Jiyong whipped around, finding Minji grinning like the cat that got the cream. When Jiyong threw an accusing look at him, Seunghyun just shrugged a shoulder and strolled on past him. Exasperated, he turned back to Minji. She gave him two thumbs up. Fantastic.

———————————————————

As Seunghyun walked towards the practice room, he soon heard a second pair of footsteps. Not even realising he was doing it at first, he slowed his pace until Jiyong could catch up to him.

‘I can’t believe you told her that.’ Jiyong said, but his tone told Seunghyun that he wasn’t mad.

‘She was right, I did kind of promise her.’

His answer sufficed, Jiyong didn’t have anymore to say on the topic and so they walked in relative silence. Seunghyun glanced over and thought about how there was way too much distance between them for his liking. It was a perfectly reasonable distance normally but it was _friendly_ and they were anything but. With girlfriends in the past, Seunghyun would put an arm round their waist of take them by the hand, maybe stop and tuck a lock of hair behind their ear if he was feeling particularly debonaire.

But Seunghyun wasn’t sure if any of that would transfer with Jiyong, whether he’d freak out or get mad at him or simply not like it. So he played it safe instead. When they got to the practice room and Jiyong was fiddling with the keypad, Seunghyun reached out a hand, intending to brush some of his hair out of his face. When Jiyong eyed him warily, he panicked and instead ruffled Jiyong’s hair, succeeding in messing it up.

‘Yah!’ Jiyong scowled a little, hands trying to sort his mess of hair out. ‘Why’d you do that for?’

Seunghyun gave an awkward laugh, mumbling a ‘sorry.’

Jiyong threw him a weird look then went about opening the door, Seunghyun followed him inside.

Jiyong dumped his stuff down on one of the benches, Seunghyun watched him unzip his hoodie and shrug out of it, setting that aside too. Today was one of those rare days that Jiyong wore jeans to practice and Seunghyun let his eyes wander, lingering where the denim stretched across taut thighs. Looking was fine, looking was _safe_ , but Seunghyun still ached for those thighs to be wrapped around him.

‘Woobin told me to up the dance practices to twice a week.’ Jiyong told him, already sat on the floor and pulling a foot towards himself to stretch.

Seunghyun had mixed feelings on the subject. On one hand it meant more time with Jiyong, on the other it meant more _dancing_. ‘And when do you ever do what Woobin tells you to?’ He followed Jiyong’s lead and began to stretch and warm up.

Jiyong grinned over at him a little guiltily. ‘He wants this tour to be amazing and your dancing is still a little sloppy.’

‘Who cares? I’m a singer.’

‘You’re a performer,’ Jiyong corrected him. ‘That includes dancing,’ Seunghyun groaned, laying flat out on his back. Jiyong wasn’t going to give in. ‘I still don’t get why you hate it so much.’

‘All the routines blur into one in my head, and when I mess up I look ridiculous with you guys nailing it behind me.’ Seunghyun told him, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

‘We’re there to make you look good.’

Seunghyun let his head fall to the side, finding Jiyong watching him like he was a petulant child, which Seunghyun supposed he was. ‘So maybe you should all dance in front me instead.’

Jiyong’s eyes creased as he laughed down at Seunghyun, stretching an arm up over his head. Seunghyun was drawn to him like metal shavings to a magnet, he ached to go for something more flirty but settled for poking Jiyong’s armpit. Just as he’d hoped, Jiyong let out a small yelp and squirmed away from Seunghyun’s dangerous fingers. 

When they finally began to dance, Seunghyun found himself more lost than usual. He watched Jiyong’s reflection more than his own and ended up making mistakes on purpose just so that he could knock into Jiyong and hear him laugh and sigh.

An hour in and Seunghyun had lost all interest in trying to dance. This was such a waste of their time together, they could be spending it doing the things that Seunghyun had been daydreaming about all week.

Another false move that succeeded in tripping Jiyong up and Jiyong finally seemed to give up. He paused the music and turned to Seunghyun. 

‘What’s up with you?’ he asked, arms folded over his chest.

‘Nothing.’

‘You’re pulling at my pigtails like a third grader,’ Jiyong’s face was filled with amusement as he sidled up close to Seunghyun. ‘You know, don’t have to fight for my attention. I thought we’d both made ourselves pretty clear before,’ 

Seunghyun smiled weakly. Jiyong was right, Seunghyun was just getting himself worked up. So Seunghyun raised a hand to- well, he didn’t exactly know, so he went for brushing it down Jiyong’s bared arm. But his hesitation didn’t go unnoticed. ‘Talk to me. What are you so afraid of?’

Seunghyun wasn’t afraid, per say. Okay, that was lie. He was _terrified_. Terrified of making a wrong move and having Jiyong bite his head off.

‘I don’t know how I should act around you anymore.’

Jiyong’s eyebrows raised a little in surprise. ‘You were doing okay before. More than okay, actually.’ Seunghyun watched him throw a bashful grin off to the side and it gave him a little more confidence for everything else he had to say.

‘But now we’re doing this,’ Seunghyun gestured a hand between them. ‘I don’t know where the lines are.’

Jiyong looked skeptical and then intrigued. ‘Have you never dated anyone before?’

Seunghyun spluttered ‘Of course, just not-’ He just hadn’t dated a guy before. He wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Jiyong or this type of relationship at all and that made it harder to decide how to behave around him.

‘This is about me being a guy?’ Seunghyun nodded and Jiyong gave a small smile, shaking his head as he insisted ‘Seunghyun, it’s really not that different.’

‘You say that but I still don’t know what I should be doing, what you _want_ me to be doing.’ If they’re both the guys in this relationship then who’s the girl? Who makes the first move and who gets swept off their feet? It was questions like these that plagued Seunghyun’s mind and he didn’t want to hear how stupid they’d sound if he said them out loud.

Jiyong chewed at his lip. ‘Well, how would you act if I was your girlfriend?’

Seunghyun tried to stop picturing Jiyong in a dress as he rattled off all the second-nature urges that he’d been fighting off all week. 

‘I’d want to hold your hand just to keep you close by,’ Seunghyun tried to watch for any reactions from Jiyong, his voice growing slower and quieter. 

‘I’d open doors for you, buy you presents that you don’t need. I’d call you up at night to hear your voice, to close my eyes and pretend that you were laying there next to me,’ Jiyong had finally let his arms drop to his sides and Seunghyun could see the way his chest was rising and falling faster than usual. 

‘I’d wait until I could barely stand it anymore and then I’d kiss you because I know you’d let me.’

As if Seunghyun’s eyes weren’t automatically drawn to Jiyong’s lips already, he went ahead and wet his bottom lip with his tongue, still a little red from where he’d chewed it.

‘I don’t see a problem with any of that,’ Jiyong told him, voice coming out a little rough. ‘I don’t want you to hold back. When I’m with you, I want all of you, the whole deal,’ he spared a glance at the door before reaching to take Seunghyun’s hand, slotting their fingers together. As Seunghyun smiled down at their joined hands, Jiyong nudged closer and pressed a kiss to the hinge of Seunghyun’s jaw before putting a bit of space between them. ‘So stop being an idiot, okay? Can we dance now?’

Seunghyun nodded, reluctantly letting for of Jiyong’s hand as he went over to start the music again. He couldn’t help but lift a hand to his jaw, fingers brushing over where Jiyong had kissed, and he beamed at his reflection in the mirrored wall, moving into position to pick up on the routine where they’d left off.

‘Oh, there’s just one thing I draw the line at,’ Seunghyun turned back to Jiyong who threw him a teasing look. ‘I’m not calling you oppa.’

———————————————————

Another week or so and Jiyong found that Seunghyun had become more relaxed around him; he wasn’t keeping his distance or always second guessing himself. They still hadn’t had much alone time and Jiyong was itching for it, to indulge himself in fantasies come to life.

Even when there was a spare half hour after their late night practices they usually ended up going out to eat instead and after that Seunghyun’s manager was more than eager to get Seunghyun home as quickly as possible. Jiyong supposed he should start to get used to this, barely being able to see each other in an unprofessional setting, but fuck if he didn’t want to find out what he would be missing out on first.

Seunghyun being more sure of himself came accompanied with his foot-in-mouth syndrome returning to the max, only now nearly everything he came out with made Jiyong’s skin hot.

Jiyong had just called another of their dance practices to a close, the second one of that week which meant Seunghyun’s enthusiasm for it was at an all time low. As Seunghyun favoured laying flat out on the cool, wooden floor, Jiyong took a seat on a bench a few feet away. They’d both passed ‘sweaty’ an hour ago, now Jiyong could feel that he was dripping with it, droplets running down his neck and forehead. He daren't even look over at Seunghyun, not sure if he’d be able to control himself if he did.

He dabbed his face over with a towel, ruffling his newly dyed pink-and-blue hair with it as well. Practices always kept him fit but preparation for this tour was more work than Jiyong was used to and it showed. He took a few steady gulps of water, brushing the excess away from his lips with a swipe of his thumb.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jiyong found Seunghyun leant up on his elbows, staring intently over at him. Jiyong was used to hundreds of eyes on him on stage, but that was when he was dancing and not when he was just sitting there doing nothing. He tugged self-consciously at his hair and wiped his face again with his towel, yet Seunghyun kept staring and not saying anything.

Eventually, it got to him. Jiyong huffed out a short laugh, meeting Seunghyun’s eyes. ‘What?’

Seunghyun considered him a moment longer before responding. ‘You’re really hot. Anyone ever tell you that?’

Jiyong rolled his eyes and willed away the redness forming on his cheeks. ‘Once or twice,’ Jiyong smiled a little, musing his hair. ‘Can’t say I’ve ever been called ‘hot’ after dancing for three straight hours.’

At that, Seunghyun chuckled a little, deep reverberations around the otherwise silent room. ‘ _I’m_ saying it now, aren’t I?’ he said. Jiyong met his eyes, frowning a little but Seunghyun’s gaze remained soft. ‘And I mean it.’

‘No, you don’t.’ Jiyong brushed it off.

Seunghyun’s exasperation was clear as he joked ‘I do. Jeez, why can’t you take a compliment?’

‘Because I know you’re lying.’ because he had to be. When Jiyong slipped into some tight jeans and put on a bit of eyeliner, he looked damn good and he knew it. But right now, with product-free hair and sweatpants on, Jiyong was a sweaty mess.

‘What if I compliment your dancing? Will you believe me then?’

Smirking, Jiyong responded ‘Maybe.’

With a glint in his eye, Seunghyun said ‘You move better than any of the girls in _Turn It Up_.’ which was really saying something; that routine had a lot of hip work, it was probably the most provocative dance that they’ve done.

Jiyong’s lips shook as he suppressed a grin. He got to his feet, saying ‘and you’re full of it.’ as he padded over to properly power down the stereo.

He heard Seunghyun jump up and follow him before two sleeve-covered arms wrapped around him from behind, squeezing him tight.

‘Gah! Seunghyun, get off!’ Jiyong exclaimed, trying to wriggle free. They were both sweaty as fuck and Jiyong was pretty sure he stunk but Seunghyun kept his hold, chuckling into the crook of Jiyong’s neck. 

Unable to shake the older man off, Jiyong accepted his fate, squirming around in the embrace to face him and then his heart was racing for all different reasons. Looking up at Seunghyun then, so barefaced and brutally happy, Jiyong had the undeniable urge to kiss him. He couldn’t remember a time when he felt this strongly about someone he barely knew and frankly it scared him a little. 

Jiyong knew he was a sucker for diving headfirst into things, getting too deep too fast and ruining it, and with Seunghyun it would be only to easy to do the same. But with Seunghyun being so inexperienced with guys, Jiyong knew that he had to tread lightly with this. This heat between them, Jiyong couldn’t just jump into things too soon and risk getting his fingers burned. Not to mention the fact that they were at _work_ and Jiyong was a stickler for working hard and getting the job done and this whole thing with Seunghyun was messing with his head and making him want to break his own rules.

So Jiyong resisted temptation, hands resting on Seunghyun’s damp chest in the little space between them, drumming into his head _don’t don’t don’t_. There was plenty of time for that later. That is, if Seunghyun’s manager ever gave them a moment’s privacy.

Seunghyun interrupted Jiyong’s inner monologuing, ducking his head and asking a quiet ‘Let’s go eat. What are you hungry for?’

‘Can we get fried chicken?’

———————————————————

It was Woobin’s birthday so instead of practice that day Woobin took all of the dancers out to lunch, Seunghyun included. He usually sat with Sunghoon at these types of things but now that he had Jiyong and Minji he could finally blend into the group more.

Walking into the restaurant a little late, Seunghyun quickly spotted Jiyong’s colourful mess of hair; he sat at a table with Minji and that kid with the faux-hawk that Seunghyun still hadn’t learnt the name of. Jiyong was in the middle of explaining something animatedly to the table when Seunghyun sauntered over and dropped into the empty seat beside Minji and, more importantly, opposite Jiyong.

Jiyong stopped in the middle of his sentence, eyeing Seunghyun, a hint of a smile forming.

‘Hey, Seunghyun.’ Minji greeted him.

Seunghyun smiled back, quickly distracted by the way faux-hawk kid was gawping at him.

‘Sorry, I don’t think we’ve ever been introduced.’ Seunghyun said to him.

The kid snapped to his senses, politely offering up his own name. ‘I’m Junghyun,’ Junghyun still seemed a little taken back. ‘Not to be rude, but, don’t you usually sit with Sunghoon?’

Seunghyun bit back a grin, lightly nudging Jiyong’s foot with his own. ‘I like the company here just fine.’

Once the air was cleared and they got their food, everyone began to relax a little and they got to talking, the topic soon turning to idol groups.

‘I always wanted to be one of the girls from Fin.K.L, like Lee Hyori.’ Minji told them.

‘If only you could hold a tune.’ Jiyong teased

She shoved Jiyong’s elbow off the table, retorting ‘At least when I sing I’m _supposed_ to sound like a girl.’

Slightly miffed, Jiyong snapped back with narrowed eyes ‘I don’t sound like a girl.’

Seunghyun was excited at this new information, wondering if he’d ever get the chance to hear Jiyong’s singing voice. Glancing between the two, he said ‘I feel like I’m missing out on something great.’

‘Yeah, you should sing for us, Ji.’ Minji goaded, Junghyun making sounds of agreement.

When Seunghyun raised a questioning eyebrow, Jiyong shook his head in refusal, waving his chopsticks. ‘Not gonna happen.’

As people started leaving, it left Seunghyun alone with Jiyong at the table.

‘I’m parked out back,’ Jiyong said. ‘I think I owe you a ride home.’

‘I’ll go let Sunghoon know.’

When Seunghyun found him, he gave a quick ‘You don’t need to hang around, GD is giving me a ride,’ Sunghoon caught him by the elbow as he tried to leave and tugged him aside. ‘What?’

‘I don’t like how much time you’re spending with that guy.’

‘He’s just helping me with my dancing.’

‘You and I both know that something else is going on here,’

_Shit_. Seunghyun remained silent.

‘Just… be careful, okay? Don’t go getting yourself into trouble.’

Seunghyun didn’t know what Sunghoon was so worried about but he nodded all the same before heading back to where Jiyong was waiting.

Jiyong led him out back to a parking lot and over to a sleek, black BMW. It was in pristine condition with blacked out windows all the way round.

Seunghyun whistled and Jiyong smirked back. ‘It’s nice, right?’ Jiyong stroked a hand over the hood. ‘Took me a few years to save up for it.’

‘I’m gonna need to have a conversation with Yang about how well he pays our dancers.’ Seunghyun joked, getting into the passenger’s side.

The ride was slow as they crawled through city traffic. Jiyong put on some music that Seunghyun couldn’t understand and they talked about the upcoming tour.

Soon enough, Jiyong slowed the car to a stop outside of Seunghyun’s apartment. 

‘Thanks for driving me home.’ Seunghyun said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

Jiyong shrugged, hands still grasping the steering wheel. ‘I owed you one, so.’

‘Still. Thank you.’ To emphasise his point, Seunghyun leant over and planted a kiss on Jiyong’s cheek. It felt great to be able to do this kind of stuff now without questioning it.

Jiyong grinned down at his lap before turning off the engine, shuffling in his seat to face Seunghyun better and looking back and forth between Seunghyun’s eyes, gaze yielding and expectant.

When Seunghyun didn’t say anything, Jiyong sighed and arched an eyebrow. ‘You gonna invite me in or not?’

So Seunghyun led him up to his apartment, and as soon as the door was shut behind them Seunghyun caught Jiyong by the wrist and they were kissing and it was just as intense as it was the first time. Seunghyun folded Jiyong in tight against himself, wanting to soak up as much of this as he could; it wasn’t often that they got this much privacy off the clock.

The handful of times they’d kissed before, Jiyong was always happy to be lead but now he was guiding Seunghyun backwards until he hit a wall. Still kissing, Jiyong’s hands fell from Seunghyun’s shoulders to his chest, one of them slipping down further to Seunghyun’s belt, yanking it open with little trouble.

Seunghyun broke the kiss, eyes flickering between Jiyong’s before Jiyong dropped down to his knees and oh god he was gonna- _ohmygod_. He was half hard just thinking about the possibility of Jiyong going down on him and watching Jiyong fiddle with the button and zipper on his pants made it all the more real and Seunghyun felt like he’d just stepped inside one of his fantasies.

Peering up at Seunghyun through his eyelashes, Jiyong asked ‘Is this okay?’ with his fingers tucked into the waistband of Seunghyun’s jeans, ready to pull them down with the all clear. Afraid he wouldn’t be able to speak, Seunghyun nodded eagerly down at him.

The corners of Jiyong’s mouth quirked up as he shucked Seunghyun’s jeans down to his thighs, revealing the underwear that he spent too much money on. Then Jiyong was leaning in, nosing at the crook of his thigh and pressing hot, wet kisses at him through his underwear, making Seunghyun huff out the breath he was holding, still in slight disbelief that this was happening and Jiyong _wanted_ to do this.

Jiyong’s fingers creeped through the opening in his underwear and pulled him out, jacking him a couple times before taking him into his mouth. Seunghyun’s head thunked back against the wall, fingers raking through Jiyong’s hair encouragingly.

———————————————————

Jiyong had plans to meet up with Youngbae the following saturday, picking him up from dance practice and driving them both to the mall. If there was one thing Youngbae was good for, it was helping Jiyong pick out new clothes, otherwise Jiyong would get completely carried away and end up buying something way too ostentatious and out of his price range.

After Jiyong was satisfied with his newly picked wardrobe, they had a few games in the arcade and then got to talking over some waffles.

Jiyong had just taken a considerable mouthful when Youngbae said ‘You seem different,’ and when Jiyong eyed him, cheeks puffing out with waffle, Youngbae clarified ‘Happier, I mean.’

Jiyong rolled his eyes. ‘Cut the shit.’ he said through his mouthful, voice muffled.

‘I’m serious,’ Youngbae laughed. ‘Things must be going alright between you two. I haven’t seen you around much lately.’

Jiyong knew that Youngbae hadn’t meant for the words to be cruel but he still felt a little stab of guilt. Youngbae was his best friend and they’d barely spoken in two weeks, any free time that he had had been spent with Seunghyun.

‘I guess I have been a bit busy.’ Jiyong said, setting his fork down. 

Youngbae pulled a face, nose wrinkling up. ‘Dude, I don’t wanna know.’

Laughing through the blush on his face, Jiyong shoved at Youngbae’s shoulder, glad that things between them were okay. ‘Not _that_ ,’ he said, picking his fork back up and taking another bite. ‘But yeah, things are going good so far.’

‘So, when am I being officially introduced?’

Giving Youngbae a teasing look, he said ‘You’d have met him already if you ate lunch with us once in a while.’

‘Or if you came to the gym more,’ Youngbae bit back, making them both laugh. ‘His tour’s coming up soon, isn’t it?’

Jiyong gave a nod. ‘Prep starts next week, then we’re starting with the shows in Seoul the week after that.’

‘Not long then. I hope his dancing is up to par.’

‘Hey, I’ve been training him, of course he’ll do great.’ Jiyong defended, because it was true; Seunghyun’s dancing really had improved with the extra effort and Jiyong couldn’t help feeling a little bit proud. On this tour, Seunghyun was going to blow everyone away.

———————————————————

Seunghyun awoke to a loud buzzing by his ear. His mind still foggy with sleep, it took him a moment to realise that it was his phone, a glance at the screen telling him that it was his manager. _Why doesn’t he just let himself in like last time?_ Seunghyun thought.

‘Hello?’ he answered, voice thick, rubbing the sleep out of his eye.

‘ _When were you going to tell me that you were dating one of your dancers?_ ’

_Shit._

‘What are you talking about?’ Seunghyun asked, opting to play dumb and deny anything.

‘ _It’s everywhere. There’s an article about it and now everyone’s speculating. Yang’s already denied it, of course, but they’ll be coming after you soon enough._ ’

Seunghyun didn’t respond. He threw his sheets back and rushed to get his laptop, quickly pulling up google and searching his own name. Once he saw the newest posts, he breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

The article had several pictures of Seunghyun out at restaurants, even one from Woobin’s birthday, but they were drawing in on Seunghyun and _Minji_ sat together. They thought he was dating Minji.

‘ _Seunghyun? You still there?_ ’

‘Yeah, I’m here,’ he said, setting down his laptop. ‘Yang’s right. I’m not dating Minji, we’re just friends. She’s already got a boyfriend anyway.’

‘ _You better not be lying to me, kid._ ’ Sunghoon said. ‘ _I’m on my way over so be ready when I get there._ ’ and then he hung up.

Seunghyun tossed his phone onto the bed beside him, rubbing at his face. He’d been terrified for a minute, that everyone had found out about Jiyong and him. Seunghyun wasn’t the type to be ashamed of himself. Him and Jiyong; it is what it is. But Seunghyun knew that stuff like this getting out would be career ending for the both of them.

When they pulled up to the YG building that morning, there were a few more cameras than usual outside. They bypassed them into the car park and got inside without too much hassle. The dance practice today was a full dress rehearsal for the concert, when Seunghyun walked in people were already warming up. A couple of the other dancers were buzzing around Minji but Seunghyun watched her bat away their teasing.

He headed over to her, apologising immediately. ‘I’m so sorry about all of this.’

But Minji waved him off. ‘Don’t worry about it. Not your fault. And it could’ve been a lot worse, right?’

Seunghyun smiled, relieved that Minji wasn’t annoyed by the extra attention. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’

Minji flitted off to do some stretches. As soon as she left, Jiyong came sauntering over from not too far away, stretching an arm behind himself. ‘I’d be more worried about Youngbae if I were you.’ he said, quickly laughing at that way Seunghyun blanched at his words.

But something seemed off about Jiyong. So Seunghyun asked ‘You okay?’

Jiyong just smiled back at him but it was too tight and looked forced, not reaching his eyes. ‘Fine. Never better.’

Before Seunghyun could say anything more about it, Jiyong flounced over to Junghyun and started doing some more stretches on the floor.

Seunghyun wasn’t just going to let this go, something wasn’t right, but he’d wait until Jiyong was ready to tell him.

‘Your dancing is the best I’ve ever seen it,’ Woobin told him as he found his way over. ‘It should make this your best tour yet. It’ll be nice to go out with a bang, right?’

Seunghyun’s heart caught in his chest as his eyes darted around, checking that no one was listening. ‘Keep your voice down, yeah? I haven’t exactly told anyone yet.’

With placating hands, Woobin apologised. ‘Right, of course.’

After all the dating rumours, that was up there with the list of things that Seunghyun _definitely didn’t want people knowing about._

———————————————————

For the concept for the tour, all of the dancers were having their hair dyed black. Jiyong was only informed of this ten minutes before he was being ushered into a seat and someone began washing his hair. He was a little sad to see the pink and blue go so soon but once he saw the finished product in the mirror Jiyong decided that he liked it.

He hadn’t had his hair black in so long but now he remembered how severe and striking it was. The stylists had gone ahead and shaved the sides, Jiyong smoothed his fingers over the smooth parts and ruffled the back. It would take a bit of getting used to again.

Before he left the stylists, Jiyong borrowed a hair tie and put his hair up in a knot. He was heading to the gym after this so it would only end up getting in his face. With his gym bag in hand, he thanked the stylists and made his way down the corridor, a little spring in his step. He and Seunghyun had arranged to have a dance practice over at Seunghyun’s apartment that night. They’d both been so busy with tour prep that they hadn’t seen that much of each other in the past couple days.

Jiyong wasn’t far from the gym when he felt a yank at the hood of his hoodie. He whipped around, ready to spout shit, immediately relaxing when he saw that it was just Seunghyun but then-

‘Your hair.’ was all Jiyong could come out with. Gone was his natural colour, in its place a stark, almost angelic white. Jiyong couldn’t help but gape up at it.

‘Too much?’ Seunghyun fretted, tugging at the ends behind his ear.

Jiyong was quick to shake his head. ‘No, it looks good,’ It really was growing on him, so much so that Jiyong didn’t think twice about reaching up to ruffle the newly bleached locks, Seunghyun’s eyes burning into him. ‘Really good.’

‘You too. I don’t think I’ve seen you with a natural hair colour before.’ 

Jiyong grinned at that, smoothing his hair back and then adjusting the bag strap on his shoulder. He side-stepped the compliment and went with ‘I’m heading to the gym first but I’ll meet you in the parking lot in an hour?’

‘Okay.’ Seunghyun said with a smile. And really, Jiyong needed to control himself because that smile was starting to do things to him.

Jiyong beamed back at him, backing up a few steps then finally finding it in himself to turn on his heel and leave.

He got in a quick workout, showered quickly and raced down to the parking lot, finding Seunghyun stood idly next to his car. Jiyong got out his keys and unlocked the car, the noise startling Seunghyun before he turned to face Jiyong, narrowing his eyes and pulling open the door to get inside.

Traffic wasn’t too bad for once so they got to Seunghyun’s place in reasonable time. Jiyong couldn’t help frowning at the paparazzi that was waiting outside when they pulled up; the whole Seunghyun-and-Minji thing was still niggling in the back of his mind. It was stupid and Jiyong knew it but part of him wanted them to be talking about Seunghyun and _him_.

‘Just walk right past them, it’ll be fine.’ Seunghyun told him, mistaking his frown for worry.

So Jiyong just nodded, tugging on a face mask and following Seunghyun out of the car. They were swarmed almost immediately, question after question being fired, some about the tour but most of them about the scandal.

‘No comment.’ Seunghyun repeated, leading Jiyong up to the main entrance where a doorman was already ready and waiting to hold everyone else off.

Once inside, they got the elevator up, Jiyong yanking off his mask as Seunghyun fumbled for his keys.

As much as Jiyong wanted to sit down and relax, they had a job to do. They actually managed to have a fairly successful practice for an hour or so before Seunghyun started getting whiny, asking to stop, and Jiyong really wanted to give in.

He was just getting started with the _Doom Dada_ routine when Seunghyun came over to hug him from behind and pressing kisses to his neck, hands sliding up under his shirt. Jiyong shivered a little, tilting his head to the side as Seunghyun began nipping and sucking at a spot behind his ear.

_Fuck it_ , Jiyong thought. They’d practiced more than enough these past few weeks and Jiyong had resisted for long enough. So Jiyong swivelled round to face him, a hand on Seunghyun’s shoulder to draw their lips together, swaying into him when they really got into it. Jiyong hadn’t even realised that he’d gone up on his toes to reach Seunghyun better.

Chests together, they were so close that Jiyong could clearly feel when Seunghyun started to get hard and he wanted to experience that playful intimacy between them again. He reached a hand down to palm at Seunghyun just to hear him groan.

With that, Seunghyun was pulling Jiyong along to the bedroom, letting Jiyong back him up enough to sit back on his bed. It was just starting to get dark outside, the last trickles of daylight enough to light up the room.

Jiyong was ready to start moving things along when Seunghyun suddenly sat up, mumbling a quick ‘hold on’ before darting into his closet of all places. He rummaged around for a moment before he came back to Jiyong with a hat in his hands, _Jiyong’s_ hat, he recognised it as the one he lost in the practice room when they first got together.

‘I thought I lost that.’ Jiyong said, indulging Seunghyun and letting him place it on top of his head, blinded for a moment when Seunghyun tugged it down so the brim covered his eyes. ‘Yah!’ Jiyong exclaimed, yanking it back up to sit properly on his head.

Seunghyun was still just staring down at him, eyes all smouldering, and a fleeting glance down at his lips was all the warning Jiyong got before Seunghyun ducked his head to kiss him again. And so Jiyong lost himself in it again, only breaking the kiss for a moment to rip Seunghyun’s shirt off, soon manoeuvring them so he could knock Seunghyun back onto his bed. Jiyong watched as Seunghyun scooted up the bed, laying back and waiting for Jiyong’s next move. 

Crawling onto the bed after him, Jiyong held himself up on his hands and knees over Seunghyun, succeeding in denying himself for two whole seconds before he found Seunghyun’s lips again. As they got reacquainted, Jiyong’s hat was starting to become a hinderance so he tugged it off and frisbied it away. 

Seunghyun’s hands immediately found their way up to where Jiyong’s hair was still tied up in a knot, gently easing the hair tie until Jiyong’s hair fell loose across his forehead. Jiyong felt him card his fingers through the newly dyed locks, whimpering and pressing down closer when Seunghyun gave his hair a little tug, sucking on his tongue.

Jiyong found a comfortable position straddling one of Seunghyun’s thighs, more than ready to move things along when his dumb brain intervened. He found himself thinking about it felt now that people thought Seunghyun and Minji were a thing, that sinking in his gut and tightness in his chest. It wasn’t fair. He and Seunghyun had to tiptoe around and wait for a rare moment of privacy, always hiding. Was this what it was going to be like now?

Trying to bury those feelings, Jiyong threw himself into kissing Seunghyun, but he was naive to think that would work.

‘What is it?’ Seunghyun asked, breaking the kiss, because _of course_ he knew there was something wrong.

Jiyong just shook his head, pressing back in for another kiss, a hand straying down to cup Seunghyun through his pants. ‘Nothing, don’t worry about it.’ Jiyong mumbled into his mouth.

But Seunghyun didn’t relent. Hand still lost in Jiyong’s hair, he rubbed a thumb across Jiyong’s eyebrow. ‘You’re sure?’

Jiyong’s heart melted a little at that, appreciating how genuinely concerned Seunghyun was that something might be bothering him, more so when you considered how Jiyong was practically dangling the offer of a blow job in front of his face. He also felt a surge of regret for ever thinking bad of Seunghyun before (not that Seunghyun’s resting bitch face helped) but that was still overwhelmed by the fondness warming through him.

‘I’m sure.’

Now that Seunghyun seemed convinced, Jiyong squeezed his handful again, grinning cheekily when Seunghyun bucked his hips underneath him.

———————————————————

Seunghyun bucked up into Jiyong’s hand, giving himself over to the temptation of pleasure. With a sultry expression Jiyong slithered down Seunghyun, getting his pants undone and down to his thighs with little trouble, tugging them and his underwear off. Through hooded eyes Seunghyun watched Jiyong pepper kisses to the insides of his spread thighs, his hip bone, the crook of his leg.

He hissed when Jiyong’s lips travelled down to his balls, sucking lightly before licking a strip up his length and taking the head into his mouth. Seunghyun bit his lip. Of course, he’d had blow jobs from girls before but nothing compared to this; Jiyong’s tenacity shining through as he worked to get Seunghyun off in any way he could. And unlike those girls, Jiyong didn’t take it so seriously.

‘So you won’t call me oppa,’ Seunghyun breathed out. ‘What about hyung?’ He could get used to hearing that from Jiyong.

Jiyong glanced up at him, still sucking lightly, considering, before he went back to working up and down Seunghyun’s cock, palm resting on the jut of his hip.

‘Aw come on! Why not?’ Seunghyun laughed, brushing some of the hair out of Jiyong’s face so he could see him better. ‘Just try it.’

Jiyong moaned around him, making Seunghyun’s breath hitch before he whined ‘ _Jiyong._ ’

Jiyong groaned again, pulling off with a wet pop. He tongued round the head of Seunghyun’s cock, not looking up at him when he mumbled a low ‘Quiet, hyung.’ before taking him back in.

Seunghyun grinned in victory, the word sending a little tendril of pleasure through him. He stroked an appreciative hand over Jiyong’s hair, cupping his cheek.

Jiyong was sucking with purpose now with Seunghyun’s encouragements, speeding up his rhythm and finally going down far enough that Seunghyun felt himself hit the back of his throat. 

‘Fuck,’ Seunghyun grunted out, trying not to thrust upwards. He wasn’t going to last much longer. ‘Ji.’ he warned, and Jiyong pulled back to focus on the tip, mouth so hot, his tongue flicking the slit and that was it. Seunghyun came with a shout and Jiyong eagerly swallowed everything.

While Seunghyun was trying to get his breathing under control, Jiyong’s cheek was pressed to the top of Seunghyun’s thigh, a hand between his legs palming his own hardness. As Jiyong undid his pants and prepared to jerk himself off, Seunghyun had a spark of post-orgasmic courage.

‘Let me.’

Jiyong tilted his head up, grinning when he caught onto what Seunghyun was getting at. ‘You wanna suck my dick?’ Because yeah, Seunghyun hadn’t reciprocated in that area yet. He’d only just gotten confident with being able to get Jiyong off with his hand and having a cock in his mouth was still a little daunting for him. Christ, he hadn’t even _seen_ Jiyong’s cock yet.

Seunghyun gave a nod, pulling Jiyong up to his level then knocking him onto his back, laying between Jiyong’s thighs. He didn’t like how one-sided this had become, he wanted to prove that he wanted Jiyong just as much and in every way possible. He pushed up Jiyong’s shirt, pressing open mouthed kisses to his stomach, feeling it quiver. 

He muttered ‘I want to try,’ At that, Jiyong groaned and hurried to kick his pants the rest of the way off, leaving him in his underwear, t-shirt rucked up. Seunghyun added ‘Sorry if this is terrible.’

An almost delirious giggle erupted from Jiyong, sat up on his elbows and watching Seunghyun with tender eyes. ‘You’ll be fine.’ he assured.

Seunghyun stroked him through his underwear for a moment, sucking a bruise next to the x’s above Jiyong’s bellybutton. Then he found the nerve to ease the waistband of Jiyong’s boxer briefs down and past his thighs, Jiyong’s cock bobbing free. He wasn’t as thick as Seunghyun but it was still intimidating to look at. _Would Seunghyun really be able to fit all of that in his mouth?_

Jiyong’s hips wriggled a little under the scrutiny. Glancing up, Seunghyun found him looking back at Seunghyun a little desperately. It’d be cruel to tease him any further so Seunghyun pulled his underwear off the rest of the way, bit down his worries and wrapped his lips around Jiyong’s cock.

He heard Jiyong gasp out a breath, hand petting at Seunghyun’s hair. It took a bit of getting used to, having a dick in his mouth, but Seunghyun found that he didn’t totally hate it, he liked the little breathy noises that Jiyong made more than anything. He could manage a fair amount, finding his limit when he choked a little but soon got it under control, one hand stroking what he couldn’t fit into his mouth and the other grabbing at Jiyong’s ass cheek. He heard what he assumed was Jiyong’s shirt hitting the floor.

A minute or so into it and his jaw started to ache but he kept it up, licking and sucking as best he could. _How does Jiyong keep this up for so long?_ Seunghyun really appreciated how fucking good Jiyong was at doing this, how easy he made it look.

At some point Jiyong thrown his legs over Seunghyun’s shoulders, thighs starting to quiver around Seunghyun’s head. The little noises he was making were enough to get Seunghyun’s cock twitching in interest again. Seunghyun knew that he was getting close, what he didn’t expect was Jiyong urging him to pull off.

Seunghyun obediently released him, still jacking him slowly as he curiously watched Jiyong’s face, a sex flush reaching down to his sternum.

‘I need- say something.’ Jiyong urged, thrusting a little into Seunghyun’s hand.

A little confused, Seunghyun asked ‘Like what?’

Jiyong shook his head frantically. ‘Anything. Just- your voice, I need-’

Seunghyun understood, moving his hand a little faster, turning his head to press a kiss to Jiyong’s thigh. ‘You’re so fucking hot like this,’ his voice rumbled out, lips quirking when Jiyong whimpered a little in response. It was interesting to know his voice had so much of an effect on Jiyong, so he continued. ‘Hottest thing I’ve ever seen. If I hadn’t just come, I could come again just watching you.’

That seemed to tip him over the edge. His thighs clenched around Seunghyun and he cried out, strips of white landing on his stomach. Seunghyun stroked him through the aftershocks until Jiyong’s leg’s fell limp off to either side, hands scrambling to pull Seunghyun up to him. Indulging him, Seunghyun leaned up and let himself be dragged down into a filthy kiss. He could still taste himself on Jiyong.

‘So, how’d I do?’ Seunghyun asked when Jiyong finally released him.

Jiyong hummed. ‘You’re a fast learner,’ his hand ruffled through Seunghyun’s hair for the hundredth time that night, the novelty of the colour change hadn’t worn off yet. Then his mouth curled into a smirk. ‘If only you were this quick at picking up routines.’

At that, Seunghyun ducked to bite at his nipple and Jiyong laughed and smacked him away, stretching over to the bedside table for something to clean himself off with. 

They lay together under the sheets in Seunghyun’s bed for a while, Jiyong on his back with Seunghyun pressed to his side, octopus arms and legs keeping them close. With his face tucked into Jiyong’s neck, he felt the vibrations when Jiyong started to talk.

‘The whole Minji thing,’ he started to say, still brushing his fingertips up and down Seunghyun’s arm. ‘I hate it. I hate that they think you’re with her when you’re…’

When he didn’t say anything more, Seunghyun lifted his head up, finding Jiyong’s eyes fixed on the ceiling. And Seunghyun got it, he really did; he didn’t like it anymore than Jiyong did.

Seunghyun pressed a kiss to Jiyong’s shoulder, his collarbone, and then hugged him tighter, feeling Jiyong squeeze his arm back. Unspoken words between them but they both understood, and now Seunghyun had to make light of it.

‘I had no idea you’d be so jealous.’ he quipped.

Jiyong scoffed, rolling onto his side. ‘Shut up,’ Seunghyun watched him reach for his pants on the floor, pulling out his phone and sighing when he saw the time. He rolled back to face Seunghyun, smiling wearily. ‘I wish I could stay.’

‘I wish you could, too.’ But they both knew he couldn’t.

A minute later and they were both dressed again, Jiyong with his newly recovered hat. Seunghyun started to lead Jiyong out when he paused in the doorway of his bedroom. ‘Wait, I just realised I don’t even have your number.’

‘Sunghoon does.’ Jiyong teased before holding out his hand for Seunghyun’s phone. He typed with a small grin and then gave it back to Seunghyun.

‘I’ll probably see you at rehearsal on Saturday,’ Seunghyun said once they got to the door of his apartment. After that, they’d be on tour for three weeks. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jiyong’s head. ‘Drive safe.’ he beamed at Jiyong’s put out expression before opening the door for Jiyong to walk himself out.

Later that night, Seunghyun scrolled through his contacts on his phone, finally finding Jiyong’s number under _dancer sunbae_.

Rolling his eyes, Seunghyun sent a quick text.

_Sweet dreams_

Moments later he got a simple response back that made him smile.

_x_

A kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient guys, haven’t proof read this cus I wanted to get it up already so please tell me if you find anything :)   
> With exams and work and stuff I’ve been a little busy, also Christmas isn’t a good time of year for me so :) but NYE was … interesting … if you know what I mean … adult stuff ;)  
> Hope you all had a good Christmas/NYE/whatever! I’d love to hear about what you did ^_^  
> Enjoy the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

Seunghyun couldn't believe things between him and Jiyong had gotten so serious so fast. But Jiyong was adamant that he felt that now was the right time, it was about time that they'd met. Jesus, Seunghyun was about to meet his-

'Seunghyun?'

Seunghyun snapped out of his thoughts, looking beside him to where Jiyong stood, his expectant look letting Seunghyun know that he was missing something. 'Hmm?'

'You okay over there?' Jiyong asked, shooting him one of those fond smirks that he seemed to reserve just for Seunghyun these days. 'Looks like you're thinking too hard.'

'Fine. I'm fine.' Seunghyun was totally not fine.

Jiyong's smirk widened. 'Relax. It's only Youngbae.'

Seunghyun knew he was right. In the grand scheme of things, officially meeting Jiyong's best friend wasn't that bad and it definitely shouldn't make him this nervous.

'He's your best friend. I don't want him to think that I'm some asshole.' Seunghyun said, keeping an eye out for when Youngbae inevitably appeared in the YG building lobby.

'He already knows you're not. He just wants to meet you.'

Seunghyun smirked a little at that. 'And how does he know? You been talking about me?'

Oh, how the tables had turned. Seunghyun watched on cockily as Jiyong turned a lovely shade of red and tried to garble out an excuse. 'Shut up,' Jiyong eventually muttered at Seunghyun's smug face, his embarrassment giving way to defensive anger. 'Don't make me hurt you, idol boy,' When Seunghyun snorted, Jiyong jabbed him right in the shoulder. 'You wanna die?'

When Minji rounded the corner hand in hand with who Seunghyun knew as Youngbae (he'd seen enough pictures from Minji), Seunghyun found himself standing up a little straighter, expression turning serious. He was determined to make a good impression.

The couple came to a stop in front of them. Hmm. Seunghyun thought that Youngbae would be taller than that.

Youngbae stared him down, eyes scrutinising. Seunghyun stared back, both at a standoff.

Jiyong interrupted their wordless conversation. 'So, here he is,' he said to Youngbae. 'You can't moan at me anymore for not introducing you.' 

'You still haven't introduced us yet.' Youngbae pointed out, still eyeing Seunghyun.

Jiyong sighed, exasperated, gesturing between the two of them. 'Youngbae, Seunghyun. Seunghyun, Youngbae. Now can we please go and eat already?'

Youngbae bowed his head a little at Seunghyun. Seunghyun nodded back. Minji rolled her eyes and led Youngbae out first, Jiyong and Seunghyun following in tow after Seunghyun slid on a pair of dark sunglasses and a baseball cap.

As per usual, there were a few cameras outside that they had to bypass. They walked to the restaurant as a group but having Youngbae and Minji holding hands would hopefully take some of the pressure off his Minji scandal.

Having Seunghyun with them caused a bit of trouble when they got there but they got sat down soon enough, Jiyong taking a seat next to Seunghyun in the booth. They decided on some stir fry to all share, eating in relative quiet. The air was still a little tense but not a lot could stop Jiyong, let alone an awkward atmosphere. He went right ahead and started talking to Minji about the upcoming tour, silently hinting for him and Youngbae to make conversation.

It didn't look like Youngbae was going to make the first move so Seunghyun cleared his throat.

'Jiyong said that you dance for Dongwook?'

To that, Youngbae nodded and continued to eat, still eyeing Seunghyun with perusal. This was going to be a lot harder than Seunghyun thought.

He tried again.

'So, you've known Jiyong long?'

'Yes.' Youngbae drawled.

Seunghyun still wasn't getting anywhere.

Minji came to his rescue. She smacked Youngbae's arm. Hard. Youngbae whined and shrunk away when Minji gave him a meaningful look.

Elaborating, Youngbae coughed and said 'We took dance lessons together as kids.'

Seunghyun nodded along. 'Sounds… fun.' 

It was still a little awkward between them, having this stilted getting-to-know-you conversation. They both knew it so Seunghyun might as well draw attention to it.

'I don't think I've been this nervous since my audition for YG.' 

At that, Youngbae nodded solemnly. 'The dance audition was pretty gruelling, I couldn't imagine singing on top of that.'

'It was tough, especially with Yang's constant criticism.'

Youngbae made a face. 'Yeah, he used to tell me that my dancing lacked expression.'

'Oh, he told me I was pretty useless at everything.' When Youngbae laughed then, Seunghyun released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in.

Finally, a topic they were comfortable with. Now on even ground, the conversation flowed easily and out of the corner of his eye Seunghyun could see Jiyong glancing approvingly over at them both every so often.

When the food began to run out Jiyong buzzed for the waitress. He ordered himself another drink and then turned to Seunghyun. 'Hyung, do you want another drink?'

Lips twitching, Seunghyun nodded. He'd started calling Seunghyun hyung a lot recently and Seunghyun couldn't deny how it pleased him.

Jiyong beamed back at him, reiterating his order back to the waitress.

As soon as she left, Minji piped up with a smirk 'Since when do you call him hyung?'

Jiyong flushed so bad that the tips of his ears went pink. Seunghyun knew exactly where Jiyong's thoughts had turned to; that night the first time he'd said it, lips stretched around Seunghyun's cock. They'd been doing that an awful lot lately, Seunghyun thought he was getting pretty good at it.

While Minji's smirk was merciless as she watched Jiyong suffer, Youngbae looked more impressed than anything else, eyeing Seunghyun with a little more reverence than before. It made Seunghyun feel a little more at ease.

'Shut up,' Jiyong whinged at Minji, raking his fingers through his hair. 'It's not a big deal, alright? I call plenty of people hyung.'

'You only call Woobin and Yang hyung and that's because they can fire your ass.' Minji corrected, calling him out on his bluff.

Jiyong didn't say anything more, scooping up a big mouthful of rice as Minji and Youngbae laughed at him. Seunghyun pressed his lips together to fight off a smile but Jiyong still kicked him under the table all the same.

When it came time to leave, Jiyong and Seunghyun found themselves in a secluded hallway of the restaurant. Sunghoon was already waiting outside and Youngbae was pulling his car round to take Minji and Jiyong home.

'I think that went well.' Seunghyun said. As far as he could tell, him and Youngbae had gotten on fairly well together; it was more than he could've hoped for.

'He likes you. I can tell,' Jiyong smiled, throwing a quick glance down the hallway. After all, they could never be too careful in public like this. 'You feeling ready for Friday?' Jiyong asked him.

Friday was the start of Seunghyun's tour, what they'd all been working towards for all these months. 'As much as I can be. You?'

Jiyong threw him a supercilious look. 'I'm a professional, I'll be fine.'

Seunghyun laughed and then let out a sigh. 'I won't see you until rehearsals.' He'd be busy up until the first tour date with final, last minute adjustments for the shows, leaving no time to see Jiyong. It would be a long week.

'I know, how ever will you survive that long without me?' Jiyong teased, casting another glance down the hallway before he stepped into Seunghyun's space, mischievous eyes leering up at him.

'It's a shame really,' he continued, hand barely brushing Seunghyun's arm. 'Because if you came over tonight…' and then began the whispers of lewd things in Seunghyun's ear about stroking and sucking and spooning. Seunghyun stared warily down the hallway as he felt his face heat up.

Seunghyun grinned bashfully down at him. 'I… I-I guess I could swing by after the meeting later.' 

Jiyong smirked, triumphant, and then Minji came yelling for Jiyong to hurry the hell up.

He continued to smirk up at Seunghyun, giving his arm a quick squeeze. 'See you later.' and then he was off.

Seunghyun was starting to think that he'd do just about anything for that boy.

———————————————————

Before Seunghyun knew it, the first date of the tour had arrived. He was beyond excited to get back out there, up on stage in front of all his fans. And on top of that, he'd get to spend every day with Jiyong. They'd barely seen each other the past week other than a last minute dance rehearsal. Seunghyun couldn't believe how much he'd missed him.

He was dressed and ready to go when Sunghoon barged his way into his apartment.

'You have got to start knocking, man.' Seunghyun told him, handing over one of his suitcases for Sunghoon to carry down. 

'I'll start knocking when you learn to drive.' 

And then Sunghoon drove him to the YG building. He dozed off a little in the car, absolutely exhausted after being up until 4 that morning rehearsing at the venue. The life of a superstar.

Seunghyun loitered in the YG lobby with his manager for a while, catching a quick glimpse of some of the dancers before he was ushered out and into a van that would take him to the stadium for more rehearsals. They dropped his luggage to his room at the hotel where all the staff were staying; even for the local shows it was just easier and much more organised if everyone was in one place.

He spent about an hour stood on the stage with Woobin and few of the other choreographers and directors, walking up and down as they ran over again how things would go and where he would stand at this part and which song needed the blue lights. After a quick soundcheck where they had to replace his mic twice Seunghyun would've happily punched someone in the face. 

But then the dancers showed up and started warming up and getting shown their marks and Seunghyun felt a sense of calm wash over him when he caught Jiyong's eye. The dancer winked at him and continued to stretch out his hamstrings.

They went over a few of the routines, making adjustments to fill out the stage more but nothing too drastic. It was nearing four in the afternoon when they finally wrapped up and Seunghyun was sent to his dressing room to shower and then shoved into a makeup chair to have his hair teased and sprayed and the imperfections on his face covered up.

And then he was lounging in his first outfit, leg bouncing up and down from the nerves and doubts that always filled him up before a show. But they were good nerves, they fuelled him to go and prove himself wrong.

In the wings he was handed a microphone, lead down under the stage where the chants of the fangirls grew louder and louder. Seunghyun took his position on the lift, exhaled, and nodded to the staff. The lights went down and the cheers erupted as Seunghyun shot out on the stage, strutting into his opening verse.

Throughout the show, Seunghyun tried extra hard to show off what all those hours of dance practice had accomplished. He kept up with most of the moves when he wasn't too busy singing or riling the crowd up or the couple of times when he turned to simply watch his dancers absolutely nail the choreography. 

The end of the show was inevitable but it always seemed to come too soon. Seunghyun bowed lowly to the crowd after his encore and exited the stage to the right, greeted by a lot of clapping and slaps on the back. He congratulated everyone on their hard work and posed for photos before wiping off what was left of his makeup and shedding his stage clothes and then he was whisked off with everyone to a bar for celebratory drinks.

Seunghyun found himself forced into sitting in a booth with the top dogs, cradling a glass of champagne, too buzzed from the show to do anything more than sip at it occasionally. Management had bought out the place for the night so the place was filled with staff and stage workers. Seunghyun nodded along to the conversation at hand, intricately aware of where he knew Jiyong was stood at the bar, laughing and joking with Minji and a few others.

Seunghyun could appreciate a good outfit when he saw one, especially if the body wasn't too bad to look at either. Jiyong too had changed out of his stage clothes but had left on his makeup, black framing the eyes that Seunghyun caught flitting over to him every once in a while. He was dressed simply, ripped jeans and a crew neck, but Jiyong seemed to have a way of wearing something ordinary and making it look amazing.

Later into the night, his companions went off to mingle and Seunghyun ended up with the booth to himself, still nursing his first drink. It didn't take long for Jiyong to come out of nowhere and slide clumsily into the seat next to him, nearly spilling his drink down himself.

Seunghyun raised his eyebrows at him but Jiyong just laughed, the back of his hand covering his mouth. Come to think of it, it was a little too high pitched to be anything other than a giggle. With that in addition to his pink cheeks and glassy eyes, only one conclusion came to mind.

'Wow. You're drunk.' Seunghyun affirmed.

Jiyong shook his head, the side of his hand dabbing at his face. 'I'm just having a good time,' he said, beaming over at Seunghyun. 'It was a good show tonight.'

'It was. You guys were great up there.' And he really meant it. The show would be nothing without them.

Jiyong gave a nod, swilling his drink around in its glass. 'I mean, I guess your dancing was _okay_. Average at best, I'd say,' he set his drink down on the table. 'We're gonna need to work on that.'

Seunghyun pulled a stricken, heartbroken expression, holding a hand to his chest for dramatic effect. It had Jiyong falling into his side in a fit of giggles. Seunghyun steadied him with a hand on his shoulder, acutely aware of how much closer Jiyong was now sitting to him. Naturally, his eyes fell down to Jiyong's lips. It was torture. Jiyong was right there in front of him but Seunghyun couldn't have him, not here.

It had really hit home to Seunghyun lately, just how deep his feelings for Jiyong ran. Admittedly they hadn't known each other for very long at all, not really, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Seunghyun was actually happy and inspired to try harder with his career. And Jiyong seemed happier for it, too, but that might've been because Seunghyun felt the need to coax a smile of him every time he saw him.

These feelings Seunghyun had, they were great, making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but they also scared the shit out of him. Seunghyun wanted this, them, together. And he worked hard to get what he wanted. He'd rehearsed his rapping day and night, struggled his way through learning to dance, almost made himself sick after he shed all those pounds. But he'd made it, he finally got what he'd been working so hard for. And it was the same with Jiyong, he'd tried so hard to get them to where they were today, he wasn't going to ruin that by psyching himself out.

Seunghyun wasn't naive, he knew that it was all leading up to this. Sex. With Jiyong. Seunghyun wasn't really one for grand declarations of love but that didn't mean he was happy with meaningless sex. It was going to mean a hell of a lot with Jiyong, Seunghyun could feel it.

Jiyong saw him looking and bit at his bottom lip. Looking back over his shoulder, he then leaned in a little closer with a gummy grin. 'You've got a room at the same hotel as us, right?' 

Seunghyun caught on to what he was getting at, but still being as subtle as a punch in the gut, Jiyong slipped a hand onto Seunghyun's leg, fingertips teasing at the inside of his thigh. 'Right.' Seunghyun said, still a little amused at Jiyong's theatrics. 

'You wanna-' Jiyong started to say when another pair of dancers entered the booth.

Jiyong's hand slipped off of his leg without notice. Seunghyun watched him knock back the rest of his drink, wiping the corner of his mouth with a finger. He left the glass on the table and got up, Seunghyun's eyes followed his beeline towards the exit. When he was far enough away, Jiyong looked back and caught Seunghyun's eye, jerking his head in a signal that Seunghyun could understand. 

After a minute or two, Seunghyun made his way through the bar in the direction he saw Jiyong leave. Outside, Seunghyun found him stood on the side of the street waiting for a cab. Taking his place beside him, Seunghyun caught sight of Jiyong's smirk.

Once they got to the hotel, it was a slow walk through the lobby and an agonising ride in the elevator. Jiyong had managed to sober up a little in the taxi, enough that he wasn't swaying his steps anymore. They'd kept their distance for the most part but Seunghyun felt Jiyong's hand brush against his before the elevator doors opened. 

When they finally got to his room, Seunghyun opened the door and let Jiyong step inside first. As soon as the door was closed, Seunghyun tugged Jiyong back and slammed him up against the door, forcing a gasp out of him.

This close, Seunghyun could feel the way Jiyong's heart was fluttering in his chest, lips nearly touching but Seunghyun resisted for an electric moment, staring into Jiyong's eyes and having him stare right back, mirroring his own hunger, his desire and affection. In Seunghyun's opinion, this was the best thing about kissing; that surrendering eye contact right before their lips touched, the charged energy between them just waiting to be unleashed. 

He'd resisted for as long as he could, savouring the tantalising moment before he dove in for a heated kiss, the kind that made his chest seize up and spurred him on for more while his hand fumbled with the door's chain lock.

Jiyong's hands were on him instantly, desperate fingers grabbing at his hair and pressing on his lower back to bring him closer. Seunghyun moved on to mouth at Jiyong's neck, teeth tugging at a pierced earlobe, eating up all those breathy noises that Jiyong let out. He rucked Jiyong's shirt up, thumbs flicking over his nipples, ducking his head to bite one and then pausing to admire the swirls of black down Jiyong's sides, fingertips tracing the letters. 

That was something Seunghyun wanted to do one day, to spend an entire day in bed tracing those tattoos until he had them all committed to memory.

Pulling Jiyong's shirt up and over his head revealed more of them and Seunghyun took them all in with brushes of his fingertips and flicks of his tongue.

'Seunghyun.' Jiyong grit out above him, yanking urgently at Seunghyun's shirt. So Seunghyun backed up a step to take it off, freeing his chest to Jiyong's roaming hands. He took great satisfaction in the way Jiyong grinned a little when his hands settled on Seunghyun's abs; suffering through the gym was definitely worth it for that.

Seunghyun began to move them towards the bed, given only moments to kick off their shoes before Jiyong shoved him onto the bed. He settled himself sat up against the headboard and Jiyong didn't miss a beat by straddling his hips and reconnecting their lips. Sometimes Seunghyun almost forgot just how well Jiyong could move his hips, it was moments like these that ingrained it into his memory. Jiyong's hips rolled down into Seunghyun's lap with purpose and Seunghyun thanked whatever gods were out there for whatever reason that had made Jiyong want to learn to dance.

'Jesus, Jiyong, how-' Seunghyun muttered against Jiyong's lips, finding it hard to form words when Jiyong was doing _that_. 'How are you even _doing_ that?'

Jiyong just grinned back and doubled his efforts, ducking down to spread kisses along Seunghyun's neck, licking over his jaw and Adam's apple before latching onto a section of skin, biting down and then sucking hard. Seunghyun jerked beneath him and would never admit to the sound he just made. All Seunghyun could do was lay helpless as Jiyong continued to rut against his hardening cock and kept working on giving Seunghyun the mother of all hickey's that the makeup noonas were sure to complain about tomorrow.

Seunghyun settled his hands on the smooth planes of Jiyong's chest, in the back of his mind noting that the lack of tits didn't seem to bother him. After all, Seunghyun was always more of an ass man anyway. Speaking of, his hands moved of their own accord, sliding down the almost feminine curve of Jiyong's waist to his ass, greedily squeezing and kneading the flesh. A low moan resonated from the back of Jiyong's throat followed by another bite and sinful roll of his hips.

Eventually Seunghyun just couldn't take it any longer. Jiyong had worked him up into a frenzy and Seunghyun couldn't believe how much he wanted him, how they couldn't get close enough. Using his bigger frame to his advantage he knocked Jiyong backwards, watching him bounce on the mattress. Seunghyun then crawled forward, easily knocking Jiyong's legs apart and settling between them. His hands fumbled with Jiyong's belt and zipper but soon yanked the skin-tight jeans and barely-there underwear off in one go, smirking at Jiyong's indignant yelp.

'I remember when you used to be gentle with me.' Jiyong sat up on his elbows, eyes eating up more revealed skin as Seunghyun quickly rid himself of the rest of his clothes to match, leaving them both bare. Seunghyun moved back closer, claiming Jiyong's lips again, a hand hitching Jiyong's thigh up, letting Jiyong hook an ankle around him. 

Now Seunghyun was inching into unknown territory. They'd only gone so far before, now he was at a loss at what to do.

He told Jiyong as much. 'You're gonna have to walk me through this.'

Jiyong nodded, wrists still locked around Seunghyun's neck. 'Did you bring anything with you?'

Seunghyun understood what he was getting at. Jiyong moved to lay at the right end of the bed as Seunghyun got up to rummage through his suitcase, coming back with a strip of condoms and some lube. Jiyong, lying there on the bed with one leg bent, arched an eyebrow at the amount of condoms Seunghyun had brought with him.

Seunghyun shrugged. 'I like to be prepared.'

Jiyong breathed out a laugh, taking the small bottle of lube from Seunghyun. 'Me too.' 

Seunghyun watched as Jiyong squirted some onto his fingers and then laid back comfortably, slick fingers positioned between his legs. Out of some sense of curiosity, Seunghyun moved to sit to the left of Jiyong's spread legs, eyes glued to where Jiyong was currently circling a fingertip. 

'What are you doing?' 

Jiyong replied easily. 'Prepping.' Right, seunghyun had read about that

Seunghyun almost gasped when he saw the first finger breech Jiyong and disappear all the way past his second knuckle, eyes flickering up to see Jiyong biting his lip, eyes closed. Jiyong worked his finger in and out a few times then quickly added a second, letting out a small grunt as his hips hitched upward, eyebrows pinching. That was when Seunghyun noticed the red flush on Jiyong's face, running all the way down to his chest.

'You're blushing.'

'You're _watching_ me,' Jiyong was quick to retort, clamping his eyes shut. 'I've never done this with an audience before.'

'I could do more than watch.' 

As soon as the suggestion passed Seunghyun's lips, the less the idea scared him and the more he wanted it. He _really_ wanted it. He figured it would be just the same as fingering a girl but better because it would be _Jiyong_. 

'Fuck,' Jiyong's free hand fumbled with the lube and tossed it at Seunghyun. Quickly, Seunghyun slicked his fingers much the same as he'd watched Jiyong do earlier. Jiyong removed his own fingers and guided Seunghyun's down where they needed to go.

So Seunghyun rubbed the tip of his middle finger over the fluttering skin and carefully pressed inside, all the way, just like Jiyong had done. Jiyong's sticky fingers were wrapped around Seunghyun's wrist, urging him on. 'Another,' Jiyong grunted, so Seunghyun complied. 

Once he'd got three of his fingers easily working in and out of Jiyong, Seunghyun set about finding that spot he'd read so much about. The website had said it should be just up-

' _Uh._ '

Jiyong's hand clamped down around Seunghyun's wrist, holding him there as his fingers stroked over that nub inside of him.

'There?' Seunghyun asked with a cheshire cat grin, more to show off than anything else.

Jiyong nodded frantically, hips making little rolls as Seunghyun kept stroking, Jiyong's death grip still keeping his hand where he wanted it. Seunghyun should've known that Jiyong would be as demanding in bed as he is with everything else.

A thought crept into Seunghyun's mind and he smirked as he set about enacting it. Leaning down closer, he nosed his way along the soft skin and dusting of hair on Jiyong's inner thigh before sinking his teeth unforgivingly into the fleshy part.

Jiyong swore and jerked away a little. 'You _bit_ me.' he sounded a little haughty, but he was still pressing down on Seunghyun's fingers so he couldn't be too mad. Seunghyun licked over the blossoming bite mark in apology. 

'You told me to,' Jiyong frowned down at him, so Seunghyun reminded him. ' _Bite me, idol boy_ was what you said, right?'

Seunghyun felt Jiyong's laugh vibrate around his fingers. _Fuck_.

Jiyong's free hand tugged Seunghyun up until his smirk was level with Jiyong's gummy grin. 'You're still an asshole.'

Seunghyun tapped his fingers against that spot again just to watch the way Jiyong's face melted a little, then he let himself be lead into another kiss, tongue working effortlessly to match the frantic dance of Jiyong's.

After a moment, Jiyong broke the kiss and urged 'Get a condom.' whilst helping Seunghyun withdraw his fingers. As Seunghyun went about ripping open one from the strip, rolling it down his length and slicking himself up, Jiyong arranged himself onto his hands and knees, legs spread and back arched beautifully, rising and falling every time Jiyong panted out a breath. 

Seunghyun got to his knees behind him, hands stroking down Jiyong's inked waist to his hips. He squeezed the cheeks of Jiyong's pert ass, eyes drinking in how Jiyong rocked back into his hands which was pretty damn fantastic but-

'Doggy style?' Seunghyun questioned, trying not to let the disappointment seep into his voice. He kind of wanted to see Jiyong's face when they did this.

Jiyong looked back over his shoulder, giving a reassuring smile. 'Trust me, it'll be easier this way the first time,' That answered the question that was lingering in the back of Seunghyun's mind, whether Jiyong had actually done this before, Seunghyun didn't want to assume anything. 

'Come here,' Jiyong directed Seunghyun to plaster himself to Jiyong's back, a hand next to Jiyong's holding his weight and the other ready to guide himself in. This was a lot better, Seunghyun thought. From here, his and Jiyong's faces were inches apart. Jiyong nudged his nose against Seunghyun's cheek. 'Okay, go for it.'

So Seunghyun lined himself up with Jiyong's hole and pressed and pressed until the pressure gave way and he was sliding his way carefully inside, immediately overwhelmed by the tight heat of it. Jiyong's breathing stuttered for a moment before he let out a sigh and bit his lip, hips shuffling minutely to get himself comfortable, 'It's been a while.' 

When Jiyong finally started pressing his ass back into Seunghyun's thighs Seunghyun got the hint and pulled out halfway and thrust back in. Again, and again. Together they built their own slow, steady rhythm and soon Jiyong had dropped his weight to his forearms, leaving his ass in the air, ready for the taking. Seunghyun quickly realised that being able to see Jiyong's face didn't matter when he could barely even keep his eyes open, willing not to give himself over to the pleasure too soon.

In a way, it had all built up to this. The anticipation of finally getting to be with Jiyong, to date him even if no one really knew, finding this new side of himself; it was all a little overwhelming for Seunghyun. 

'I still can't believe you're letting me do this.' Seunghyun's voice came out gravelly. His hips gave another thrust.

'Don't make me regret it.' Jiyong mumbled back, making Seunghyun chuckle.

Seunghyun's forehead rested on the nape of Jiyong's neck as he tried to find some semblance of control. It felt way too good and if he didn't find a way to hold himself off then this would all be over way to fast. And wouldn't that be embarrassing.

So Seunghyun slowed his thrusts further until he was just rolling his hips against Jiyong's ass accompanied by the occasional purposeful thrust. Jiyong started whining and trying to move things along himself so Seunghyun sat up a little and grabbed a hold of Jiyong's hips to steady them, grinding down at what he hoped was the right angle.

Jiyong let out a moan that reverberated around the room, hands fisting at the sheets beneath them. Once Seunghyun had himself under control, he decided to have a little fun.

'Still think I can't move my hips?' he questioned, voice a deep, teasing baritone. 

Face buried in his folded arms, Jiyong cried out as Seunghyun ground mercilessly at his prostate. He shook his head, hips unsure whether to try to get away from the intrusion or to push back against it.

'N-no, fuck, I take it all back!' Jiyong cried, pushing himself up, head dropping between his shoulders. Then 'Hyung, please!'

'Oh right, I'm your hyung now. I've finally earned your respect, right?' Seunghyun taunted, hands clamping onto the fleshy part of Jiyong's ass.

' _Hyung!_ ' Jiyong pleaded again frantically, seemingly having taken as much teasing as he could stand, a hand moving down to squeeze at the base of his cock. 'I'm gonna come.'

At those words, Seunghyun halted his movements as his stomach clenched in excitement and he found himself closer to his own climax than he was a few seconds ago. But if this was going to happen then he wanted a better view.

'Fuck. Can you turn over?'

Jiyong nodded and complied, letting Seunghyun ease himself out before rolling over, legs easily manoeuvred up to his chest, held back by hands behind his knees; it opened him up nicely. Seunghyun could've lost it right there and then.

'Have I mentioned how happy I am that you're a dancer?' 

Jiyong breathed out a laugh as Seunghyun got into position, letting his legs be supported now by Seunghyun's arms, fingers biting onto Seunghyun's broad shoulders as he entered him again.

With a sense of urgency, Seunghyun built up an unforgiving pace, finding that this new angle opened Jiyong up more, allowing him to get that little bit deeper. Jiyong let out these beautiful little moans on every thrust, eyebrows knitting together, scrambling to get a better hold around Seunghyun. Seunghyun whispered his name. When Jiyong looked up at him, Seunghyun saw how blown his pupils were, barely leaving room for any of the familiar honey brown. 

Jiyong looked just as overwhelmed as Seunghyun felt, desperate eyes flickering back and forth between his. This was different to any other time Seunghyun had fucked someone, and it wasn't because of the obvious. It'd never been this intimate before and it scared Seunghyun but in the best way, to have someone looking at him like that. With their sweat-slicked skin pressed together, a haze of heat and desire surrounding them, Seunghyun didn't ever want to be anywhere else. In that moment he would've given anything, _everything_ , to stay in that bed, wrapped up in Jiyong forever.

Jiyong was still gazing up at him like he was god's gift, a hand leaving Seunghyun's shoulder to brush his fingers over Seunghyun's cheekbone, thumb tracing his upper lip. Seunghyun's feelings seemed mutual. Seunghyun leaned into the touch, pressing a kiss to Jiyong's palm before he sped up his thrusts, wrenching a little ' _uh_ ' from Jiyong. 

He couldn't help but to steal a kiss and swallow down a few of those delicious moans for himself, hands moving underneath Jiyong's shoulders to keep him as close as possible, Jiyong's moans melting into fraught whimpers. Then Jiyong's right hand flew down from Seunghyun's shoulder to his cock and Seunghyun felt Jiyong's orgasm like a tidal wave, tremors of Jiyong's inner muscles and then it all came crashing down, Jiyong crying out and muscles spasming around Seunghyun's cock. It dragged Seunghyun's own orgasm out of him with a groan, burying his face in the crook of Jiyong's neck and bearing down on him, shoving his cock as deep as he could get it as the euphoria washed over him.

Adjusting his arms once he'd come back to himself, he let Jiyong's legs fall to either side of him as he fought to catch his breath, Jiyong's heart racing against his own. When Seunghyun made to sit up, his nose wrinkled at the stickiness now spread across his stomach. Jiyong's come.

Jiyong let out a breathy giggle at his expression, sheepishly leaning over to grab a few tissues off the nightstand to wipe clean Seunghyun's stomach and then his own, tossing them into the trashcan after Seunghyun had pulled out and discarded the condom. 

Seunghyun collapsed back onto the bed next to Jiyong, tugging the rumpled sheets up with him. Jiyong immediately magnetised to his side, lips peppering kisses across his shoulder, his chest; a hum purring into his sternum. Overwhelmed by the affection, Seunghyun's arm tugged him in closer, eyes stinging.

'You're amazing,' Jiyong breathed, then added in English 'Top is top.'

Seunghyun rolled his eyes at Jiyong's word choice. 'That was terrible.'

'Shut up, I'm tired, I can't think properly.' Jiyong whined, eyes already drooping closed.

Seunghyun pressed a kiss to his temple and let himself give in to sleep.

———————————————————

The next morning was the first time Seunghyun had woken up beside Jiyong. As soon as he opened his eyes he found Jiyong looking back at him from the other pillow. His hair was a mess, pillow creases on his cheek, patchy stubble on his chin; his eyes sparkled at Seunghyun, last night's eyeliner smeared underneath.

Seunghyun had never seen him like this before. He'd never been this beautiful.

When Seunghyun reached out for him, Jiyong shuffled closer, letting Seunghyun wrap him up in his arms, drawing Jiyong's head to his chest and nosing into his bed-head, pressing a kiss there. Seunghyun was so wrapped up in thinking how great this was when the weight of reality suddenly set in. Jiyong hadn't gone back to his room last night. Seunghyun knew that Woobin had a habit of checking in on all the dancers. He would realise that Jiyong hadn't slept in his own room.

Seunghyun felt himself stiffen and Jiyong frowned up at him. But before he could explain, as if they were in some fucking drama, Seunghyun's door beeped and opened as much as the chain lock would allow before it rattled to a halt. Jiyong jumped beside him, startled, eyeing the door warily. They heard Sunghoon swear.

Frantically, Seunghyun called out 'Who keeps giving you these keys?!'

'Oh good, you're already up,' Sunghoon said through the crack in the door, ignoring his question. 'Remember, rehearsal's at noon,' and just when Seunghyun thought he was done, he added 'Oh, I heard from Woobin that one of the dancers has gone AWOL, they're gonna keep looking for him though.'

'Okay!' Seunghyun hollered back and Sunghoon finally shut the door. Once it was quiet for a few moments and Seunghyun was sure that he was gone, he lay back down with a sigh.

'Shit,' Jiyong hissed beside him, sitting up and knotting his fingers in his hair. ' _Fuck._ ' 

When Seunghyun made to touch his shoulder, to reassure him, Jiyong threw back the sheets and climbed out of the bed, picking up his jeans from the floor. Letting his hand drop back down, rebuffed, Seunghyun was about to stop him from leaving when Jiyong pulled out his phone from one of the pockets, coming back to sit on the edge of the bed with his back to Seunghyun, phone pressed up to his ear.

'Min? Yeah, I'm fine, just listen for a sec,' Jiyong spoke. 'Can you cover for me? Tell them I crashed at my sister's place last night, it's not far from here,' it was quiet as he waited for a response but when he spoke again, Seunghyun could hear the trace of a smile in his voice. 

'I'm not telling you anything,' a pause and then 'But yeah, he's good,' At that, Seunghyun couldn't help but grin to himself. 'You're the best, Min. See you at rehearsal.'

Jiyong hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand. Testing the waters, Seunghyun reached over and stroked a hand down Jiyong's naked back, over the ink on his right shoulder and down around his side. Jiyong looked over his shoulder, smiling wryly down at Seunghyun, so Seunghyun moved his hand to his bicep and pulled a little, prompting Jiyong to lay back down.

He curled up under Seunghyun's arm and pressed himself into his side, throwing a leg over his hips for good measure. Seunghyun let his eyes fall shut when he felt Jiyong kissing at his jaw, pressing a kiss to the top of Jiyong's head and hugging him tighter.

'Probably should've planned this better.' he heard Jiyong mumble, fingertip tracing a figure-eight on Seunghyun's chest.

'Oh, so you planned to seduce me all along?' Seunghyun teased. Jiyong retaliated by pinching his nipple. 

The surprisingly impressive stubble on Jiyong's face scratched at Seunghyun's chest as he laughed, bringing his attention back to it.

'This is great, by the way,' he said, brushing his knuckles over Jiyong's chin, a fingertip swiping above his upper lip. 'So cute.'

Jiyong knocked his hand away, scowling. 'Shut up. It's not that bad.' he said as he scratched at his jaw.

'It's hot.' When Jiyong looked up at him dubiously, Seunghyun brushed his lips over it, kissing his cheek and jaw before finding Jiyong's lips. He felt the stubble scratching at his face as Jiyong deepened the kiss and found that it was more pleasant than he'd thought it would be.

Seunghyun had only meant for the kiss to be a kiss but the way Jiyong arched into it was sinful and soon got Seunghyun's cock interested. He nudged a leg between Jiyong's and used it to roll them over, holding himself up over where Jiyong lay back in his new position, hands resting useless above his head. Seunghyun had just enough sense in him left to know that they shouldn't be wasting time like this but ignored it and went in for another kiss.

It was a warm and languid kind of kiss, tinged with morning breath and both not awake enough to properly coordinate it. When Seunghyun ground his morning wood against Jiyong's thigh, it sparked a groan from Jiyong and a buck of his hips in response.

After a moment, Jiyong pulled back, casting Seunghyun a meek look. 'I really should go and get ready for rehearsal.'

At that, Jiyong tried to slip out from underneath him but Seunghyun had him pinned back down in a second, arms coiled around his waist. Seunghyun wasn't ready to let go of him just yet.

'Hyung,' Jiyong laughed, then melted when Seunghyun started kissing up from the column of his neck to behind his ear. Seunghyun's efforts only managed to sway Jiyong for a few more moments before he returned to his role as the voice of reason. 'C'mon. I gotta go.'

So Seunghyun relented, heaving a sigh and rolling onto his back, allowing Jiyong to crawl out of his reach.

'You think you'll get into trouble with Woobin?' Seunghyun asked as he watched Jiyong dress.

'Aren't I always in trouble with Woobin?' Jiyong retorted, forgoing his underwear and stepping straight into his jeans, nimble fingers deftly buckling his belt.

'You know, I could talk to him, get him to lay off you a bit.' Seunghyun suggested as Jiyong yanked on his shirt and swiped his fingers under his eyes, wiping away the majority of last night's eyeliner.

Jiyong gave him a small smile. 'I can handle it.' 

When Jiyong was finally fully dressed, he backtracked to Seunghyun's side of the bed, holding himself up as he leant in and pressed a fleeting kiss to Seunghyun's lips. Not wholly satisfied, Seunghyun held him there for another before he watched him go, checking the coast was clear before slipping out of the room.

Seunghyun heaved an even heavier sigh than before, sinking back into the sheets. Stretching a hand out beside him, he could feel Jiyong's side of the bed was still warm. Last night had been incredible, the best sex of Seunghyun's life. 

He let himself bask in it for a few more moments and then rolled out of bed, heading for the bathroom. He showered and dressed and met Sunghoon down in the lobby to be chauffeured off to the venue. Seunghyun felt that he couldn't stop smiling to himself the whole way there but if Sunghoon noticed he didn't say anything.

At the venue, Seunghyun made his way to the stage in time to hear Jiyong getting his ass chewed out by Woobin in front of everyone for being irresponsible and reckless and 'a pain in my ass, you little punk'. Jiyong kept his eyes trained on his feet, bowing low when Woobin finally walked off. Seunghyun felt bad for him but on his escape Jiyong caught sight of him and beamed brightly. Seunghyun bit back a grin, heading to talk with the directors.

He watched Jiyong all through the rehearsals. His dancing was spot on as usual, there was no change there, but in the down time in between Seunghyun found him laughing and goofing around a little more than usual. 

Now that Seunghyun knew what sex was like with Jiyong, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He felt like a teenager again, watching Jiyong roll his hips had his mind flashing back to the way those hips had worked down on his cock. He felt the urge to just grab Jiyong and bend him over. It was a little frightening just how much it had affected him. Sex had never meant this much to him, sure it felt good but what happened last night was too much for words. Jiyong had to have felt it too, that connection between them, the raw emotion.

Seunghyun saw a slight grimace from Jiyong when he finally took a seat at the side of the stage. Jiyong glanced over to him then, catching his smirk and narrowing his eyes at him.

With rehearsal and stylists and angry makeup artists, Seunghyun barely had time to rest let alone have the chance to talk to Jiyong. He stepped out onto the stage that night, screaming fans and flashing lights, a little more sure of himself than before.

They performed another kick ass show and then it was more of the same, smiling for photos, cooling down and washing off the sweat and makeup. 

Instead of going out for drinks that night, everyone decided to get some much needed rest. Sunghoon drove him back to his hotel and Seunghyun got ready for bed. He sat crossed-legged on top of his bed, phone in hand. His thumb hovered over Jiyong's number as he second guessed himself. But he needn't have bothered. There was a knock at his door and when he looked through the peephole he found Jiyong stood there, glancing up and down the hallway.

Seunghyun undid the latch and pulled the door open. Jiyong gave a shy smile, slipping inside when Seunghyun gestured for him to, waiting as Seunghyun locked the door again.

Jiyong sounded unsure of himself as he spoke 'Sorry, I didn't mean to-' but Seunghyun was already stood toe to toe with him, cupping his cheek and leading him into a long-awaited kiss. Jiyong gave himself over to it, throwing his arms around Seunghyun's neck with a quiet sigh. Seunghyun had been waiting to do this all day.

Jiyong stepped out of his shoes and let himself be led over to Seunghyun's bed. Gently, Seunghyun pushed him down onto the bed, both scrambling to find a good position as they continued to kiss. Seunghyun flicked his tongue against the roof of Jiyong's mouth just to hear him groan and arch his body upwards. 

Seunghyun's exhausted body had a hard time holding itself up, letting his weight press down against Jiyong, slotting a thigh between his. Jiyong mewled, encouraging Seunghyun to grind against him. 

And it went on like that, kisses turning sloppy and losing the heat to them, both hard and wanting but neither having the energy to make anything more of it. 

Laughing down at Jiyong, he asked 'You wanna just sleep?'

Jiyong nodded, humming as his fingers played with the hair at the back of Seunghyun's neck. He lazily shucked off his sweatpants and Seunghyun pulled the covers over the both of them, arms falling around Jiyong when he wriggled in close and found Seunghyun's lips again. A few sweet kisses later and Jiyong rolled over, backing up against Seunghyun's chest and holding Seunghyun's arm around his waist.

Their feet bumped together under the sheets and Seunghyun hid his grin in Jiyong's neck. It wasn't sex but it was still more than Seunghyun could've asked for.

———————————————————

They fell into the same pattern night after night. After the show, Jiyong would sneak off to Seunghyun's room where they'd sleep or if they weren't too tired they'd manage to fuck hard and fast or lazily rut against each other before they passed out. Seunghyun had Jiyong in every way he could imagine. Seunghyun figured that this was like their honeymoon phase and he loved it.

They both tried not to be too obvious about it but Minji still grinned knowingly at them whenever she saw them.

'Another _bruise_ , Jiyong-ah?' Seunghyun heard Minji ask, pawing at Jiyong's collarbone. 'Such a klutz, you should be more careful.'

Jiyong laughed, batting her hand away. They were in the hotel lobby, waiting to be taken to the airport to start the Japan leg of the tour.

'Or is it Seunghyun who should be more careful?' Minji questioned, giving Seunghyun a once over. 

'Either way, it's still none of your business.' Jiyong chipped in.

Minji wasn't quite satisfied but she didn't probe any further, musing instead. 'This tour is going by too quickly, I don't want it to end.'

Jiyong peeked over at Seunghyun then, offering a warm smile as he answered. 'Yeah, me neither.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know whether to say 'I'm sorry' or 'you're welcome'?
> 
> Either way, here it is. If anyone's interested, I'm thinking that this story will be about 14/15 chapters long? I've got a detailed 30,000 word plan that I keep tweaking so that could change slightly but it'll be somewhere in that ballpark.
> 
> Internet friends! I seek constant validation of my writing! Feed my addiction! :D


	7. Chapter 7

So far the tour had been a huge success. They’d made their way across Korea, Japan and were now working their way through China. Seeing all his fans was humbling for Seunghyun. The fact that all these people had made the effort just to come out and see him made all the gruelling dance practices and endless hours in the studio worth it.

Of course, what made it even better was that he saw Jiyong everyday (and every night). Spending that much time together was bound to change their relationship but Seunghyun felt that they were stronger for it. Things between them were more solid than before, more grounded, and any doubts in Seunghyun’s mind about his feelings for Jiyong had disappeared long ago.

It was nearing the end of June. Seunghyun was warming up in his dressing room; he didn’t demand for much as a celebrity but his own private space before shows was a necessity. He was checking his reflection when Jiyong poked his head round the door, black-lined eyes smiling.

‘Hi.’ Jiyong breathed, stepping into the room. Much like Seunghyun, he was decked out in his stage clothes, hair and makeup pristine. He appeared ethereal like this.

Seunghyun prowled over to him, corners of his lips twitching upwards as he curled a hand around Jiyong’s hip - still surprised that Jiyong actually let him - and led him into a kiss. ‘Hey.’

‘I just wanted to wish you luck out there,’ Jiyong explained, smile turning bashful when Seunghyun’s hands slid down to cup his ass through the tight fabric. ‘I can see now that you’re getting the wrong idea.’

‘What? You mean you don’t want me to ravish you?’ he teased, bringing them closer and nosing his way into Jiyong’s hairspray-stiff hair.

He got swatted away by dainty fingers. ‘Don’t you dare mess up my hair,’ Jiyong warned. Seemingly under the pretence of precaution, he took a hold of Seunghyun’s chin and slotted their lips together again. 

A few sweet kisses later and he was fretting over Seunghyun’s hair. ‘Your roots are awful.’

‘I think they’re dying it brown soon.’ Seunghyun pondered with a shrug. Having little-to-no control over his hair wasn’t a big deal to Seunghyun anymore.

Jiyong hummed, eyes disappointed. ‘I like the white.’

He was in the middle of making another comment about Seunghyun’s hair when the sound of the door handle rattling broke them apart, Jiyong practically jumping to the other side of the room. It turned out to be only Sunghoon but still, it was close.

‘Oh, hey, GD,’ 

Jiyong gave a nod in greeting.

‘I think Woobin’s looking for you, actually.’

Jiyong appeared annoyed by this, like a child out past their curfew. He gave Seunghyun a halfhearted smile, slapping his shoulder. ‘I guess I’ll see you out there.’

Seunghyun’s eyes followed him out of the room and then found their way back to Sunghoon, lounging against the makeup station.

‘What’s up?’ Seunghyun asked, adjusting one of his earrings.

‘I just wanted to talk,’ Sunghoon took a seat on one of the couches. ‘You’ve really come into yourself on this tour,’

When Seunghyun threw him a dubious look, Sunghoon chuckled and went on. ‘I’m serious. You make non-work related conversation with the staff, you’re laughing and joking with the dancers,’ Sunghoon shrugged, considering Seunghyun. ‘I don’t know, it’s just good to see this side of you more often.’

The impromptu heart-to-heart put Seunghyun ill at ease but he could appreciate the sentiment behind it. 

‘Thanks, I guess.’ 

Sunghoon nodded. His response was to be expected; Seunghyun wasn’t known for getting emotional very often.

‘Anyway, we’ve only got a few shows left. Have you spoken to Teddy about working on some new material?’

New songs. The pressure was always hanging over his head but now it was almost a burden. Seunghyun knew that after the tour was over and he’d recovered that he’d be sent right back into the studio, Yang milking every last drop of creativity out of him while he still could.

‘Not yet,’ Seunghyun answered. ‘I just want to enjoy the tour. Let me figure that stuff out when we’re home.’

Accepting his answer, Sunghoon relented and laid back further into the cushions.

‘You’re right, kid. Take as much time as you need.’

———————————————————

On stage that night after the encore, Seunghyun got to talking with the audience as he always did, although his Mandarin was a little rusty when he strayed from the MC script.

‘Sadly, it’s the end of the show. Did I do a good job?’

The screams he got in response were answer enough.

He grinned, wiping at the sweat on his forehead and pulled what he knew was one of his many devilishly handsome looks. ‘You like?’

More screams. 

Now he got down to the sincere part.

‘Thank you all for coming out tonight, we worked very hard to give you an awesome show,’ he then gestured back to the dancers behind him. ‘And of course, I’d be nothing without my amazing dance team. Please tell them what a good job they did.’

The crowd cheered louder and clapped as the dancers bowed in thanks. When Seunghyun turned to bow back to them, he didn’t even have to try to catch Jiyong’s eye, he was already looking straight at Seunghyun, sweaty and tired but beaming with life.

Once off stage, after he’d showered and dressed and gone through the rest of his routine, he met Sunghoon so that they could head back to the hotel. It was just starting to rain by the time they got there and Seunghyun wanted nothing more than to kick back with some wine. So he did just that.

He’d found a comfortable position kicked back on one of the armchairs in his room, half-drunk glass of red in hand, engrossed in some documentary about the rainforest when he heard a familiar knock at his door.

———————————————————

Jiyong kept watch of the hallway as he waited for Seunghyun to answer, ready to dart back to his own room at the sight of anyone they knew.

As soon as the door was pulled open, Jiyong slipped inside with practiced ease, toeing off his shoes.

‘Did you get caught in the rain?’ Seunghyun asked him, pointing to Jiyong’s head with his free hand as he took a long sip of wine. 

Jiyong got distracted watching Seunghyun’s throat work when he swallowed.

He ran a hand through his still-damp hair. ‘No, I just showered,’ he said, moving to take a seat on the arm of the chair closest to him. That night’s show had been something else, he’d watched Seunghyun nail routine after routine and something warm had spread through his chest. Whether it was simply pride or something deeper, he didn’t know.

‘Tonight was one of your better performances. You should be proud of yourself.’ 

Seunghyun smiled down at his glass, nodding. ‘I am,’ 

Eyes leaving his glass, they found Jiyong’s, crinkling at the edges. ‘Though, I don’t think I could have done it without you.’

Jiyong rolled his eyes, picking at some loose thread on the knee of his jeans. ‘I’m sure Woobin would’ve found some other way to train you up.’

‘No, I meant-’ Seunghyun cut himself off, setting his glass down. Jiyong watched him fret over his words for a moment. ‘Having you here, with me, and being with you up there on stage,’ he flashed Jiyong a bashful smile, eyes earnest. ‘I don’t know. I guess you could say that you inspire me, that’s all.’

Now that, that gave Jiyong that same feeling bursting through his chest. It wasn’t love, not just yet, but Jiyong wasn’t naive; he knew that he was falling and falling hard. It was unavoidable at this point. And it was dangerous, too. For all intents and purposes Seunghyun had no doubts that he was straight not a couple months ago, what if he changed his mind right back again? 

Jiyong had been doubting himself lately, dredging up old worries about whether this was it, if this thing between them would burn out now that he’d given everything to Seunghyun, if Seunghyun would even want this anymore. Jiyong was frightened of his feelings, of course he was, but if this was all he was going to get with Seunghyun then he was going to cherish the time that Seunghyun still gazed at him like he was now.

Jiyong pushed himself up from his perch on the armchair, stepping into Seunghyun’s space with a warm smile, eyes closing when Seunghyun’s hand reached to sweep the damp tendrils of hair away from his forehead. Jiyong tilted his head up to brush their lips together, hand stroking down Seunghyun’s arm to his hand where he interlaced their fingers, squeezing and having Seunghyun grip right back. It might not be love just yet but it was definitely something special.

Jiyong couldn’t stop himself from grinning between each kiss. Seunghyun’s lips tasted like the wine he was drinking and Jiyong chased it, slipping Seunghyun some tongue. Jiyong easily got lost in it like he always did, fisting the front of Seunghyun’s pyjama top and tugging, urging him to get things moving, to lose himself even further. 

Seunghyun got the idea, if a bit slowly, but then Jiyong was being laid down onto the bed, big hands pinning him down and bruised lips kissing the breath out of him. Jiyong loved this, the solid weight of Seunghyun pressing him into the mattress, loved to squirm underneath him just to feel Seunghyun press right back.

‘Nice pjs, by the way.’ Jiyong commented as his fingers set about undoing the row of buttons down Seunghyun’s checkered shirt.

Seunghyun continued with his exploration of the sensitive spots on Jiyong’s neck, humming in response. 

Clothes hastily shed, Jiyong reached for the condoms and lube that Seunghyun had started keeping stocked in the nightstand of every hotel room he stayed in. Before Jiyong could go about putting a condom on him, Seunghyun had snatched up the lube and coated his fingers, smirking down at Jiyong’s thwarted face. 

Jiyong huffed but Seunghyun’s smirk just widened. They both knew that they had sex often enough now that Jiyong really didn’t need to be prepped, it was just unnecessary, but Seunghyun liked to do it all the same. Jiyong had an inkling that Seunghyun liked doing it just to see him get all worked up.

With an arched brow, Seunghyun nudged Jiyong until he submitted and lay back down, opening his legs to Seunghyun. At least Seunghyun set to worked quickly, sliding his fingers up Jiyong’s crease and working two of them inside. Jiyong pushed down on them, trying to hurry things along but Seunghyun wasn’t having any of it, holding Jiyong’s hips down with his free hand as his other began teasing before his fingers attacked Jiyong’s prostate.

Jiyong made a desperate noise from somewhere deep in his throat, body curling in on himself at the sensations that overwhelmed him. Seunghyun’s free hand moved from his hip and guided Jiyong to hold onto him instead, nails digging crescents into Seunghyun’s back.

‘Seunghyun, come on.’ Jiyong tried pleading with him but his hyung was merciless in his teasing.

Seunghyun kept at it until Jiyong was panting and his cock was straining and leaking against his stomach. Only then did he relent, wet fingers slipping out as he sat back on his haunches between Jiyong’s legs. Not even catching his breath first, Jiyong scrambled up and forced his way into Seunghyun’s lap, clumsily finding his lips. They made out in the middle of the bed while Jiyong fumbled to roll a condom onto Seunghyun’s length, probably dripping half the lube onto the bedspread before getting him good and slick.

Still stroking him, Jiyong shifted closer and guided Seunghyun inside, mouth falling open on a gasp, biting his lip and dropping his head back as he sunk down the rest of the way. Seunghyun scattered wet kisses up his neck, arms cradling him as his hips shifted upwards a little.

This was what it was all about. How Seunghyun fit just right inside him, surrounded him, kisses and caresses keeping him centred.

Jiyong went slow at first, muscles already tired from the show but he pushed past the ache telling him to stop. He worked his hips up and down, hands finding purchase on Seunghyun’s shoulders and using them for leverage, thighs burning in protest. Outside, the rain was really starting to come down, the pitter-patter against the window glass the only sound to be heard in the room besides their raged breaths.

Once he’d found a good angle, Jiyong arched into it, but found his energy drained enough that all he could manage were slow rolls of his hips, chasing licks of pleasure. Seunghyun seemed content enough to just let Jiyong get on with it, taking him in with heavy lidded eyes.

‘Come on, idol boy. Little help here.’ Jiyong puffed out, finally depleted, drops of sweat trickling down the lines of his back.

Compliant, Seunghyun steadied himself with a hand on the bed and Jiyong just held on and let Seunghyun piston up into him, whining into Seunghyun’s neck.

It’s surprising but Jiyong hadn’t always been hugely into bottoming. With the majority of his past relationships there had been a clear 50/50 split between them, give and take, but with Seunghyun Jiyong didn’t want it any other way. He loved surrendering to him. He’d never been with someone who made sex feel like this.

Jiyong quickly found himself getting close. Seunghyun’s hips were stuttering and he managed to gasp out a quick ‘ _Fuck, Ji_.’ before he was coming, arm crushing Jiyong close to his chest. Not even skipping a beat, Seunghyun’s hand lifted from the sheets and circled around Jiyong’s aching cock to finish him off. Jiyong rocked his hips into Seunghyun’s fist, clenching around his spent cock until he seized up and came with a shout muffled by Seunghyun’s shoulder.

Finding himself again, Jiyong lifted his head and peered at Seunghyun’s wrecked expression. He grinned, bumping their noses together, hot breath mingling, both exhausted but sated. Still inside him, Seunghyun kissed him lazily until nature took its course and Jiyong reluctantly sat up a little, mournful at being separated again. He collapsed onto the bed and let Seunghyun worry about cleaning them both up.

———————————————————

Seunghyun lay on his side next to Jiyong. He’d put on a pair of boxers but Jiyong had chosen to stay completely naked, lying on his front on top of the sheets, folded arms pillowing his head. The rain was still heavy outside which was calming in a way, the sound filling the voice in the room. A slip of moonlight shone in from between the curtains making Jiyong glow as Seunghyun traced a finger over his tattoos, hand stroking over the curve of his ass. Jiyong mewled into it, shaking his ass a little and making Seunghyun chuckle.

Seunghyun was infinitely happy in that moment, yet he started speaking with a heavy heart.

‘I don’t want to go back,’ 

It peaked Jiyong’s interest. He opened one eye, studying him, so Seunghyun continued. ‘I want to stay here with you in this hotel room. Fuck everything else.’

Jiyong hummed happily, eyes falling shut again. ‘Sounds wonderful,’ he then peered over at Seunghyun with a sympathetic smile. ‘But we both know you can’t.’

‘Stop ruining my dreams.’ 

At that, Jiyong gave a gummy grin.

In the quiet of the hotel room, with this ludicrous fantasy still in mind, Seunghyun began to think about his career. If he decided to give up music he’d still have a lot of opportunities waiting for him, who knows where it would take him. And then he wondered what Jiyong would do.

‘Do you see yourself doing this five years from now?’ 

Jiyong gave him a loaded look so Seunghyun clarified ‘Dancing, I mean.’

He watched Jiyong shift to get more comfortable, brows furrowing a little as he thought. ‘I guess?’ he finally came out with. ‘I mean, I love music so I don’t think I could do anything else. If I wasn’t dancing then I’d have to work around it in some way,’

Jiyong stared down at the sheets between them, burning a hole in them as he pondered a moment longer. ‘I used to write my own music, you know. I think I preferred doing that than actually singing it.’

Hearing Jiyong talk about his singing, you could tell that he’d been passionate about it once but now the way he spoke was wistful, almost bitter, like reminiscing a former lover.

‘Write me a song.’ Seunghyun blurted out. The idea was impulsive but he found himself excited by the prospect of it.

Jiyong glanced up at him, eyes dancing. ‘Don’t you already have people that do that for you?’

Laughing, Seunghyun continued to brush his hand up and down Jiyong’s back, wondering whether or not he should come out and say what had been on his mind lately, whether sharing that much would spook Jiyong away. Eventually, he figured that it was a risk he was willing to take.

‘Ji, this thing that we’re doing,’ he started, hand stilling in the dip of Jiyong’s back, because with Jiyong it wasn’t just dating, it was something else entirely that Seunghyun didn’t have a name for.

‘I need you to know that…’ Jiyong looked up at him curiously. Seunghyun swiped his tongue over his bottom lip as he gathered his thoughts. ‘It’s moving really fast, and I know that we don’t know each other all that well yet. I… it scares me a little but I-’

Jiyong pressed forward then, cutting him off with the tender press of his lips, fingers curling round Seunghyun’s neck. Pulling back, Jiyong looked at his lips, peeking up at Seunghyun with a small smile. ‘Don’t worry. I’m scared, too.’

Hearing that made Seunghyun feel a million times better, that Jiyong felt that same fear but still wanted to try. It really was scary, Seunghyun had all these feelings and then there was all the things that could go wrong, especially if they were found out. So Seunghyun was going to soak it all up while he still could.

Seunghyun brushed his lips over Jiyong’s again, coaxing another kiss out of him as he stroked his fingers up and down the bumps of Jiyong’s spine. Still moving his fingers, he gazed down at Jiyong, trying to commit every detail to memory, just in case. He still wanted to stay locked away though, to keep Jiyong away from everyone’s eyes but his own.

‘I’m a selfish bastard.’ he mumbled, holding him close as Jiyong laughed at him.

———————————————————

The last day of the tour came sooner than anyone expected. The whole thing had passed by so fast, Seunghyun could hardly believe it, and he tried harder than ever to go out with a bang.

On stage that night, Seunghyun belted out every lyric with passion, nailed every move with practiced precision; he was on fire. There was no mistaking it; he owned that night. It was working out to be their best show yet.

And then it all went south.

Seunghyun was at the edge of the stage, singing down to the fans in the stands. They were beaming back at him, eyes adoring. Until they weren’t. Until they stopped looking back at him, shocked faces focused somewhere behind him. With all the commotion, Seunghyun turned around in time to see Jiyong on the floor of the stage, face twisted in agony as a buffed-up stage hand swept him up bridal style and carried him off stage.

He was frozen for a moment, dread settling uncomfortably in his stomach. _What the hell just happened?_

The rest of the dancers carried on, doing what they were supposed to do, what they were trained to do, and Seunghyun followed suit, picking up his singing in the next verse. There was nothing else he could do. 

He made frantic eye contact with Minji, questioning. But Minji looked just as lost as Seunghyun felt, seemingly having no idea what happened either.

Seunghyun kept glancing to the side of the stage that Jiyong was carried off to. He could make out Jiyong on the floor, his foot in someone’s lap. Then he was being piggybacked somewhere backstage, Seunghyun lost sight of him and the panic began rising.

As soon as the song finished, Seunghyun hastily rushed into the wings, colliding with a bewildered Sunghoon.

‘Whoa, where are you going?’ Sunghoon had a hand to Seunghyun’s chest, halting him.

‘Jiyong,’ he panted, eyes still searching for him. ‘GD. What happened? Is he okay?’

‘He’ll live. He just went over on his ankle, that’s all. Nothing too serious but you’re gonna have to finish the show without him.’

Knowing what happened quietened some of the anxiety in him but Seunghyun was still itching to find Jiyong, to make sure that he was okay. He was aware that he’d already spent too long back here, that his cue was coming up, but all of that seemed unimportant and distant, the image of Jiyong in pain at the forefront of his mind.

‘Seunghyun, you have to go back on stage.’ Sunghoon urged him, ushering him back, staff leading him towards the stage.

Later when he thought back on that night’s performance, Seunghyun couldn’t really remember any of it after that moment. It was all a blur, him going through the motions until he rushed through his encore and thanked the audience, speaking in the spur of the moment.

‘And please keep GD in your thoughts tonight. I’m not too sure what happened but I know he’ll try his hardest to put on an even better show next time.’

The crowd gave a roar of applause, chants of Jiyong’s name echoing through.

Seunghyun bowed one final time and then practically ran off stage. He brushed off the cameras and people that tried to talk to him, heading straight for the main dressing room.

There, he found Jiyong on one of the sofa’s getting his ankle wrapped up, Woobin stood nearby.

‘It’s a bad sprain,’ he heard Woobin say. ‘It needs time to heal. You probably won’t be dancing again for a while.’

From those words, Seunghyun saw Jiyong’s eyes shutter and drop his gaze to his lap, nodding along gravely. No smart comment, no scathing looks. Just dejection.

It was heartbreaking to watch.

Woobin turned and caught sight of Seunghyun stood in the doorway. 

‘Seunghyun, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the party?’

At the sound of his name, Jiyong flinched and his gaze drifted to the ground near Seunghyun’s feet and stayed there.

Seunghyun was whisked away by Sunghoon before he had the chance to talk to Jiyong, forced into his own dressing room to change and then herded into one of the vans that would take them back to the hotel. Management had bought out the hotel bar for that night to celebrate the success of the tour. Seunghyun didn’t feel much like celebrating.

Jiyong was nowhere to be found, probably resting somewhere. Seunghyun texted him, even tried calling but still got no response. He searched the whole bar, eventually finding Minji instead, perched on a barstool and frowning down at the glass in her hand.

He didn’t even have to say anything once he got over to her, she just came right out and told him ‘He’s up in his room. Woobin’s orders,’ 

She twirled a straw around in her drink, giving Seunghyun a look of disbelief. ‘He wouldn’t let me stay, told me to go have some fun.’ She knocked back a sip of her drink. Whiskey, by the smell of it.

So it wasn’t just Seunghyun that Jiyong was avoiding then. If he was blowing off one of his oldest friends then something had to be wrong.

‘Did you see what happened?’

Minji shook her head. ‘One second he was right there next to me, the next he was on the floor.’

‘He won’t answer my calls.’

At that, she considered him with sympathetic eyes. Then she set her drink down, rummaging through her purse.

‘Here,’ she handed Seunghyun a keycard. ‘For if I needed to check on him. You should take it, shake some sense into him.’

He gripped the keycard tightly in his palm, nodding. ‘Thank you.’

Minji shooed him away after he darted in to kiss her cheek, leaving her to nurse her drink.

Seunghyun figured that he’d been at the party for an acceptable amount of time by now, so he quietly slipped away and took the elevator up to Jiyong’s room. He gave a courtesy knock at the door and when he got no response he used the keycard and carefully opened the door.

‘Ji?’

Seunghyun peeked inside and frowned. The bed was rumpled but empty, just like the rest of the room. He checked the bathroom just to make sure but that came up empty as well. _Where the hell was he?_

Frantic, Seunghyun was about to go and find Sunghoon to send out a search party when the door beeped and swung open, revealing a limping Jiyong, arm cradling a bucket of ice. 

At the sight of Seunghyun, Jiyong’s brows furrowed and he peered round inside. ‘What were you doing in my room?’

‘Checking on you,’ Seunghyun said, exasperated, marching over to him. ‘Gimme that,’ he snatched the bucket of ice from under Jiyong’s arm. ‘You should be resting. And you were supposed to call Minji if you needed anything.’

Letting the door fall shut, Jiyong let out a disgruntled sigh, stressing ‘I’m _fine_. You heard Woobin, it’s a sprain, nothing serious.’

The grimace that bloomed across Jiyong’s features when he put pressure on his other foot betrayed his words. Seunghyun tried to reason with him.

‘You’re still injured, Jiyong. You need rest. Go lie down and I’ll bring you that ice for your ankle.’

‘Will you chill out?’ Jiyong snapped back, resorting to anger just like he used to. ‘I don’t need to lie down, I need everyone to leave me alone.’

There was that familiar, snotty tone. Seunghyun found that he’d missed it in a way.

‘Go lie down.’ Seunghyun repeated, unfazed.

With narrowed eyes, Jiyong crossed his arms over his chest, snapping out an indignant ‘No.’

_That little punk_. Taking a stern tone, like he was talking to a disobedient toddler, Seunghyun pointed to the bed. ‘I will carry you there myself, don’t test me.’

For a moment Jiyong looked like he wanted to fight back, but instead he huffed, pushing past Seunghyun and limping over to the left side of the bed. So Seunghyun set the bucket down, retrieving a hand towel from the bathroom and filling it with some ice. He was going to look after Jiyong whether Jiyong liked it or not.

Seunghyun backtracked to the bed with the ice. He grabbed a cushion from the arm chair on his way, carefully lifting Jiyong’s leg up and setting the cushion and Jiyong’s bad foot in his lap once he’d sat down. He gingerly rolled the leg of Jiyong’s sweatpants up to his shin, catching Jiyong’s grimace when his fingertips ghosted over the fresh bandage around his ankle. 

Even with the ice soothing his ankle, Jiyong still looked pretty pissy. Seunghyun tried stroking Jiyong’s other leg to comfort him. It seemed to be working for a moment, Jiyong stopped glaring into space and met his eyes. Then he looked away again insolently, leg squirming away from Seunghyun’s hand.

By then, Seunghyun was at the end of his tether.

‘What is your deal?’ Seunghyun set the towel of ice down on the bed, turning to face Jiyong’s indignant face better. ‘I’m trying to help you.’

Jiyong glared off to the side, lips pressed into a hard line.

‘Maybe I don’t want your help, you ever think about that?’ Jiyong flung back, waving an arm towards the door. ‘Just go back to your stupid party.’

Seunghyun sat back, stung.

‘Jiyong.’ the anguish in his voice was clear, enough that Jiyong had to look away from him.

He saw Jiyong’s lip tremble as he rubbed a hand over his face, peering back over at Seunghyun with shameful eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’

Putting his hand back on Jiyong’s leg, he softly asked ‘What are you so mad about?’

Seunghyun was patient as Jiyong collected himself, focusing on brushing his thumb against the fabric of Jiyong’s pants.

‘I’m not mad. I’m embarrassed,’ Jiyong finally admitted. He looked away as he spoke, burning a hole into the wall across from the bed. ‘I’m supposed to be a professional, yet I go over on my ankle over such a simple move?’

Jiyong scrubbed a hand over his face, wincing. ‘And now you’re looking at me like I’m broken or something and I _hate_ it.’

Finally, an explanation. So Jiyong wasn’t mad at Seunghyun or anyone else; he was mad at himself. He’d messed up on stage and felt like an idiot about it. And as much as Seunghyun was trying to help and make him feel better, his sympathy was making Jiyong feel worse.

‘Everyone makes mistakes, Jiyongie,’ Seunghyun murmured, squeezing Jiyong’s thigh. ‘Even the pros.’

Jiyong looked at him then, smiling back sadly. ‘I ruined the show.’

‘You didn’t ruin anything, we got by without you,’ _Even though it wasn’t half as fun_ , he left out. ‘The fans cheered for you, did you hear?’

That brightened Jiyong’s smile. ‘Yeah, I heard.’

It seemed that Seunghyun had at least done something right. 

Re-situating himself beside Jiyong, Seunghyun reached for the ice again, setting it down over Jiyong’s ankle, offering an apologetic smile when Jiyong hissed. He sat back, taking Jiyong’s hand, relieved when Jiyong slotted their fingers together.

He nudged Seunghyun with his good foot. ‘Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a dick.’

Seunghyun scoffed good-naturedly. Reflexive anger from Jiyong was predictable by now. 

‘What about all those weeks when you were a dick to me? I don’t get an apology for that?’

Jiyong dropped his head to Seunghyun’s shoulder, humming. ‘That was before I knew what a sweetheart you were.’

That was enough of an apology for Seunghyun. He pressed a kiss to the top of the younger man’s head, nosing into his hair and breathing him in.

Sure, Seunghyun could’ve been downstairs celebrating with everyone else, but no. He was exactly where he needed to be.

———————————————————

They all made it back from the tour safely, for the most part. A week later and Jiyong was managing to walk just fine on his own but Woobin still wouldn’t let him dance for a few more weeks yet, insisting that he was under no circumstance to do any strenuous activity. That warning went completely ignored as two days later Jiyong had Seunghyun on his back on the kitchen floor, yanking his pants down.

Now that the tour was over and done with, it left Seunghyun with a lot of free time, a chance to relax a bit and recover from his busy schedules before he was back at it again. This generally meant lazy mornings in bed coaxing an orgasm or two out of Jiyong.

Seunghyun spent his last day of freedom shopping in Cheongdam where Jiyong promptly ran up Seunghyun’s credit card with designer shoes and jackets. Not that Seunghyun minded much, not when it made Jiyong that happy.

By the time they got back to Seunghyun’s place it had been almost midnight but that didn’t stop them from falling into bed together and fucking hard and fast until Seunghyun had Jiyong practically screaming, fingers clenched in Seunghyun’s now chestnut-coloured hair. Despite his earlier qualms, Jiyong seemed to like it even more than the white.

Seunghyun collapsed next to him when they were done, fighting to catch his breath, Jiyong’s chest rising and falling just as fast beside him. 

‘Fuck.’ was all Seunghyun could come out with, articulate as ever after his mind and body had been melted into a puddle of pleasure.

‘Yeah.’ Jiyong breathed back, dragging messy kisses up the column of Seunghyun’s damp neck. But Jiyong only basked in the afterglow for so long before he was sitting up and swiping his phone from the nightstand, checking the time. 

‘It’s late. I should go.’

Humming, Seunghyun slung an arm around his waist, tempting him back under the sheets with a few sweet kisses. Jiyong caved quickly, setting his phone back down and bullying his way closer to Seunghyun, slotting a leg between his and pillowing his head on Seunghyun’s chest.

‘Just a few more minutes.’ Jiyong mumbled through a yawn.

Not even a minute later and Jiyong’s breathing had evened out, his gentle snoring filling the silence of the room. Seunghyun didn’t have the heart to wake him, at the back of his mind he knew that Jiyong was supposed to go back to his place but he chose to let him sleep, holding his smaller frame tighter.

Seunghyun was woken up in the early hours of the morning by shuffling from around his room, groggily opening his eyes to the dim light coming through the slats of the blinds. Eyes focusing, he saw Jiyong with his back to him, t-shirt and underwear on as he seemed to be quietly searching for his pants.

‘Are you sneaking out?’ Seunghyun heard himself ask, voice thick with sleep.

Jiyong started, whipping round to face him, doe-eyed. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I should- someone might-’

‘Baby, it’s fine,’ Seunghyun assured him, not fully aware in his sleepy haze that the pet name had slipped out as he held out on arm to Jiyong, eyes barely open. ‘Calm down. Come back to bed.’

Still beckoning him back, Jiyong gave up his pant search and crawled back under the sheets, letting Seunghyun wrap himself back around him.

‘You realise I’m staying over at your place, right?’ Jiyong clarified, smiling into Seunghyun’s shoulder.

With his eyes closed, Seunghyun drawled back ‘I don’t care. Sleep.’

And so they did. What’s the worst that could happen?

———————————————————

‘Shit! Sorry, I thought- I didn’t realise you had company.’

That was the first thing Seunghyun heard that morning. Squinting open his eyes, he found Sunghoon stood in the doorway, deliberately trying to look anywhere but at Seunghyun. 

In his morning haze, Seunghyun couldn’t figure out why. That is, until he looked down, taking in the sight of the sheets barely covering his modesty, a still-asleep Jiyong snuggled up to his side, face buried in Seunghyun’s neck and an arm draped round his shoulder.

Suddenly wide awake, Seunghyun yanked the sheets up higher to cover himself. ‘Fuck.’

Frantic, he shook Jiyong’s shoulder, trying to rouse him. Soon enough, Jiyong groaned out ‘Hyung, fuck, _what?_ ’

Sunghoon had been babbling something about leaving when he stopped in his tracks, peering over at them, face twisted in confusion. ‘GD?’

At that, Jiyong was suddenly wide awake, rolling over and gaping at Sunghoon, mouth trying to form words but nothing was coming out. They were both well and truly fucked.

‘Seunghyun, I’ll be in the living room.’ Sunghoon told him, voice stern. And then he slipped out of the room, leaving Seunghyun and Jiyong alone with their embarrassment.

Jiyong, red faced, hid back in the crook of Seunghyun’s neck with a quieter groan than before, cheeks burning Seunghyun’s skin. With a reassuring hand brushing through Jiyong’s hair, Seunghyun carefully dislodged him, sitting up. Jiyong watched him, eyes giving away his distress.

‘I’ll go talk to him. It’ll be fine.’ Seunghyun pressed his lips to Jiyong’s cheek and climbed out of the bed, finding his underwear and yanking them on. He dressed quickly and headed out to the living room as Jiyong tugged the covers up over his head.

He found Sunghoon sat on the couch, hands clasped together between his legs and concentrating hard on the coffee table. Seunghyun rubbed at the back of his neck, unsure how to even begin this conversation.

He didn’t have to worry long. Sunghoon spoke up, gaze still fixed in front of him. 

‘How long has this been going on?’

Seunghyun frowned. ‘A few months.’

Sunghoon spluttered, head snapping round to gawk at him. ‘A few- _Jesus_ , Seunghyun, why didn’t you say anything?’

‘I thought you knew!’ Seunghyun threw his arms up. As far as he knew, Sunghoon was somewhat aware of what was going on, always telling him to be careful around Jiyong and treating him to looks of disappointment when he thought Seunghyun couldn’t see. ‘I don’t get what the problem is! We’re not reckless, no one’s going to find out.’

‘You don’t get to decide that, Seunghyun,’ Sunghoon’s fingers rubbed at his temples. ‘So no one else knows?’

‘Just a couple of Jiyong’s friends, they won’t talk.’

That didn’t seem to put Sunghoon at ease but it appeared that he was done shouting.

‘You understand what would happen if this got out, right?’

Seunghyun nodded solemnly. It’d be over, everything. He’d lose it all. He’d never be able to work in Korea again. ‘I know, I know,’ 

Well, there was one thing that he wouldn’t lose. 

‘I really like him, hyung.’

Seunghyun watched his manager absorb that information, eyes considering Seunghyun with understanding and then a bit of disappointment, sighing.

‘I just wish you’d have told me. I thought we could talk about this stuff.’

His words made guilt settle uncomfortably in Seunghyun’s stomach. He had a point. Sunghoon became more than just his manager long ago. They were friends, good friends, and now Seunghyun felt bad for holding out on him for so long about this.

‘We can,’ Seunghyun insisted, taking a seat on the coffee table across from him, hands on his knees. ‘It’s just … this whole thing has been a little overwhelming for me. I needed time to come to terms with some things.’

Sunghoon remained quiet, then gave a nod.

‘Okay.’

Seunghyun’s eyebrows jumped. ‘Okay?’

‘Okay,’ Sunghoon repeated. ‘I’m cool with it.’

‘You won’t tell Yang?’

Sunghoon looked wistful before he sighed again. ‘Fine. But if I get fired over this it’s gonna be your fault.’

‘Hopefully it won’t come to that.’

It took a minute for the tension to settle and then Sunghoon was laughing, of all things.

‘What’s so funny?’ Seunghyun asked.

Sunghoon gestured between him and the bedroom door. ‘You two, I thought-’ he paused to laugh again. ‘I thought he was selling you drugs or something.’

‘What?!’

His manager’s laughter rang out through the room again. ‘You’d been acting so strange lately, and you guys hung out a lot and you got all secretive on me. It’s not that implausible.’

Seunghyun was laughing with him now. The idea was totally ludicrous; Jiyong selling drugs, Seunghyun _using_ drugs. 

When their laughter had died down, Sunghoon started to ask ‘Have you told him about your-’

‘No,’ Seunghyun cut him off, gaze drifting to his bedroom door. ‘He doesn’t know.’

Sunghoon nudged his knee, eyes earnest. ‘You should really think about telling him, and soon.’

Rubbing the back of his neck, Seunghyun nodded, solemn. ‘I will.’

He wasn’t sure if Sunghoon believed him but he didn’t ask anymore questions.

‘I’ll reschedule the stylist appointment,’ Sunghoon said, getting up from the couch and slapping Seunghyun’s shoulder. ‘You go … do what you need to do.’

Seunghyun had the best manager.

‘Thanks, man.’ 

Sunghoon’s mouth formed a kind smile. He let himself out while Seunghyun headed back to his bedroom.

He was greeted by a lump under the covers. Lips quirking, Seunghyun peeled back the sheets to find Jiyong out cold, curled up on his side. Mindful of Jiyong’s ankle, he gently climbed in close behind him, still clothed, hand creeping around him. He eased Jiyong awake, kissing at his neck and brushing his fingers up and down his abdomen. 

When Jiyong finally came to, he stretched out his back in an arch away from Seunghyun, then groaned for the third time that morning. 

‘Please tell me that was just a weird dream.’

Smiling against his neck, Seunghyun answered. ‘Okay,’

Jiyong moaned yet again.

Seunghyun chuckled. ‘It’s okay, he’s not mad or anything. And he won’t tell Yang.’

Seunghyun dragged a few more kisses up Jiyong’s neck. He seemed satisfied by Seunghyun’s answer, rolling over and nuzzling up to him. 

Nimble fingers attempted to tug off Seunghyun’s clothes.

‘Come back to bed, _baby_.’

The fuzzy memory of last night came back to Seunghyun and he felt himself flush. He narrowed his eyes down at Jiyong’s shit-eating grin. ‘Shut up.’

Thoroughly pleased with himself, Jiyong laughed giddily, continuing with his mission of stripping Seunghyun. ‘But _baby_ , I just want to-’

Seunghyun rolled on top of him, pinning the man’s fragile wrists to the mattress. Jiyong was still smirking up at him, mewling when Seunghyun began kissing his way up his neck again. He let Jiyong’s hands go free easily to curl around his shoulders, sitting up to gaze down at him.

‘My morning just freed up,’ he smoothed a hand over Jiyong’s bed-head. ‘I’ll make you breakfast.’

Jiyong hummed in agreement, arms tightening around Seunghyun. ‘That’s it. I’m keeping you.’

———————————————————

Now that Seunghyun’s schedule was packed again, the time he spent with Jiyong was getting less and less. Because of his sprain Woobin wasn’t letting Jiyong participate at practice but still came along all the same. It started with Jiyong moping at the back of the room but quickly turned into him sat down in front of the mirrors, taking it upon himself to critique everyone. Well, everyone quickly became just Seunghyun, Jiyong’s face full of mirth as he did so.

It was a rare day when Seunghyun wasn’t needed in the studio or in front of a camera. So he and Jiyong had gone to lunch with Minji, finding their way back to Jiyong’s apartment a few hours later.

‘I’m telling you,’ Jiyong paused to kick off his shoes by the door. ‘He had actual cornrows.’

Seunghyun sank down on the sofa, grabbing the remote to flick through the channels. ‘And _I’m_ calling bullshit.’ The image of Youngbae with that hair was too bizarre even to imagine let alone be true.

Throwing himself down next to Seunghyun, Jiyong’s pout at the screen only lessened when Seunghyun slung his arm round his shoulders, keeping him close as he continued to find something to watch. He was pretty certain that Running Man would be on soon and he wanted to see Tablo make a fool of himself.

Half an episode later, Seunghyun hadn’t been disappointed with Tablo’s guest appearance on the show. Beside him, he could tell that Jiyong was getting antsy. It started with him shifting in his seat, crossing and recrossing his legs. Then it gradually escalated to dragging his lips up Seunghyun’s neck and jawline, spindly fingers tugging at the neckline of his shirt.

Seunghyun made the decision to ignore him for a while, just to see how desperate Jiyong would get. It turned out to be _very_.

‘Hyung,’ came Jiyong’s drawn-out whine, teeth grazing the shell of Seunghyun’s ear. ‘Come on.’

When Seunghyun peeked over at him, Jiyong grinned up at him, eyes flitting down to his lips. _This kid is insatiable_. Not that Seunghyun minded, of course.

He raised an eyebrow at the younger man, daring Jiyong to do something.

When Jiyong took him up on his challenge, edging closer, Seunghyun leant back, just out of his reach. Jiyong’s lips stretched wide with a breathy laugh, hand coming up to hold Seunghyun still. Seunghyun was done with his teasing, letting Jiyong fit their mouths together.

Seunghyun let himself be drawn in, fumbling with the remote to shut off Jaesuk’s exuberant shouting. He laid back in his seat as Jiyong bullied his way into his lap to drink his fill, hands resting on Jiyong’s thighs as Jiyong slid in closer, fingers raking through Seunghyun’s brown mess of hair.

‘I’m starting to think you only want me for my body.’ Seunghyun joked between kisses.

‘Obviously, because your personality sucks,’ Jiyong bit back, breath hitching as he shifted his hips. ‘Now hurry up and put out already.’

Seunghyun had him on his back in record time, kissing Jiyong through his manic laughter. August sunlight streamed through the windows, heating their faces as Jiyong’s tongue chased his and Seunghyun’s hands went sliding up underneath his shirt.

They were really starting to get into it when Jiyong’s buzzer rang out through the tiny apartment.

Seunghyun pulled back, their lips still a hair’s width apart, asking ‘You expecting anyone?’

Jiyong shook his head, cheeks nicely flushed and lips rubbed raw, clawing at Seunghyun’s shoulders.

‘Just ignore it,’ he yanked Seunghyun back down, rejoining their lips. When the buzzer sounded again moments later, Jiyong kissed him through it, but when it kept on going off Jiyong finally broke away with a quiet ‘Fuck,’ and slipped out from underneath Seunghyun to go and see who it was that was so important.

Seunghyun watched him march his way over to the front door, holding down the intercom. ‘Yeah?’

‘ _Ji, baby, it’s me. Please just let me up, I gotta talk to you._ ’

The lousy speakers crackled but it was clearly a man on the other end. _Baby?_

Jiyong went rigid, hand still hovering over the intercom. A beat later came his sharp response. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

It felt a little weird hearing Jiyong take that tone with anyone else, the tone that Seunghyun was so accustomed to hearing having spent weeks chasing after him.

Jiyong didn’t answer the intercom when it buzzed again, he just stood staring at it, slowly backing away step by step.

Seunghyun lifted himself up from the couch and over to Jiyong, now frozen in the empty space between the door and living room. ‘ _Baby_?’ he repeated.

Jiyong was pulling at his hair now, knuckles white from the force of it. ‘My ex,’ At Seunghyun’s raised eyebrows, he added ‘It’s complicated.’

Seunghyun wriggled his eyebrows. ‘How complicated?’

His attempts to lighten the mood were unsuccessful as Jiyong didn’t even show a twitch of a smile. When Seunghyun moved to take his hand, Jiyong flinched but quickly righted himself, taking Seunghyun’s hand with a smile that Seunghyun knew was forced.

‘Just forget it, it’s nothing.’ Jiyong stepped in close, yanking Seunghyun down into another kiss, all tongue and teeth, trying to guide him back to the sofa. Seunghyun couldn’t work out why Jiyong was throwing himself at him like this, not that he was complaining, but the desperation of it confused him. When Jiyong shoved a hand down his pants, Seunghyun knew he had to put a stop to this.

He broke the kiss, holding Jiyong at arms length when he tried to steal another. ‘Jiyong, hold up, what’s going on?’

His eyes darted between Seunghyun’s. ‘I-’

Three harsh bangs shook the door in its frame.

‘Jiyong, open the fucking door!’

It was that same voice again, clearer this time, booming from behind the door.

Jiyong jerked round in Seunghyun’s arms. ‘Who the fuck let him up here?’ he whisper-shouted, voice angry as he shrunk back against Seunghyun. ‘He always ruins everything.’

The banging at the door continued.

‘Want me to get it?’ Seunghyun asked, stepping up to the plate.

Jiyong shook his head, grip tight on Seunghyun’s arms as he protested ‘No, no you don’t have to-’

‘It’s alright.’ he assured him, hands loosening Jiyong’s hold on him. He motioned for Jiyong to go wait in the kitchen out of sight.

Gripping the door handle, Seunghyun set his facial expression and wrenched the door open.

It revealed a man as tall as Seunghyun, but somewhat bulkier, older. Seunghyun took in dark hair and darker eyes, a tattoo curling up the right side of his neck.

The man’s eyes narrowed in on him, giving Seunghyun a quick once over. ‘Who the fuck are you? Where’s Jiyong?’

‘He doesn’t want to talk to you.’ Seunghyun answered simply.

‘Oh, you speak for him now?’ the man scoffed at Seunghyun, taking a step closer. ‘Get out of my way.’

He made to push his way into the apartment but Seunghyun stood grounded, not letting him past. _The nerve of this guy_.

‘He doesn’t want to talk to you,’ Seunghyun repeated, hand tightening its hold around the door handle. ‘You should leave.’

The man was looking more and more agitated by the second. He called into the apartment. ‘Jiyong, stop being a little pussy and talk to me!’

Seunghyun’s hand was on him before he even comprehended what he was doing, shoving him back a step. ‘Don’t talk to him like that.’

His hand was swatted away. ‘I’ll talk to my boyfriend however I want.’

Whoa. _Hold up_. Boyfriend?

Seunghyun snorted. ‘He’s not your boyfriend.’ This guy had to be kidding himself.

The man smiled, like he was in on some joke that Seunghyun hadn’t heard yet. ‘Oh, you think he’s yours? _Please_. He’ll always come crawling back to me, won’t you Ji baby?’ he shouted the last part into the apartment again.

‘Just go away, Heechul!’ Jiyong shouted back, voice wrecked. Seunghyun had never heard him take that tone with anyone, he sounded so angry.

‘You heard him. Leave.’ Seunghyun barked out, eyes hardening.

The man, Heechul, he just flashed Seunghyun a lazy smirk. ‘Fine,’ he said easily enough, shucking the collar of his jacket. Too easily. ‘He knows where to find me. Tell him I’ll be waiting.’

Then he turned on his heel with that smarmy grin and left, simple as that.

Seunghyun let the door slam shut behind him.

He took a few moments to cool himself off and collect his thoughts before he went to see Jiyong. In the kitchen he found him sat on the floor against one of the cabinets, arms hugging his knees up to his chest, frowning into space.

Seunghyun leant against the island opposite him, sinking down to the floor to mirror him. They sat in silence for a minute, Jiyong refusing to acknowledge him and Seunghyun unsure of where to start with his questioning.

Testing the waters, Seunghyun moved his foot to brush against Jiyong’s, catching the corner of his mouth twitching up.

So he asked ‘Wanna talk about it?’

Jiyong smiled over at him weakly, shaking his head no. His eyes were glassy so he clenched them shut and brought a fist up to his forehead, the heal of his hand pressing to his brow. He gave a sniff, smile trembling. Seunghyun could see where this was going.

‘Hey, no, come here.’ Seunghyun reached out to him, tugging his other arm. 

Jiyong’s teeth were bared in a grimace as he held back the tears, allowing himself to be pulled onto Seunghyun lap, curling up against his chest. Seunghyun tucked his chin on top of Jiyong’s head, carding his fingers through his hair to try and soothe him. He could feel Jiyong’s chest taught and stuttering from the effort not to lose it, refusing to let himself cry.

Seunghyun held him through it, held him until his raged breathing evened out and his fingers lost their bite on Seunghyun’s forearm. He was out cold and from this position Seunghyun wasn’t able to lift him up without waking him. So he waited it out, holding Jiyong close even as his legs went numb, letting him rest.

He guessed it was no more than twenty minutes later when Jiyong woke up, groggily lifting his head. Seunghyun heard him snort and mumble ‘I drooled on your shirt.’

‘I don’t mind.’ Seunghyun whispered back, smoothing Jiyong’s hair back from his face.

Jiyong wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, wiping away the drool on Seunghyun’s shirt too as best as he could. He tugged at Seunghyun, urging him to stand up. ‘Come on, let’s do this somewhere more comfortable.’

By that, Seunghyun hoped he was going to get an explanation for whatever just happened because he felt like he had whiplash.

‘Good, my legs were going numb.’ He took Jiyong’s proffered hand to lift himself up, shaking his legs out.

‘Idiot.’ Jiyong drawled but it was affectionate.

He led Seunghyun back to his bedroom, letting Seunghyun settle himself against the headboard as he sat cross-legged on the bed facing him. Jiyong picked at his nails before he started talking.

‘I started dating Heechul when I was seventeen,’ he said, mouth forming a weak smile. ‘He was charming. Twenty-three - an older guy, fresh out the military, and the sex was amazing,’

Seunghyun cast him a put-out look so Jiyong smirked a little, taking one of Seunghyun’s hands in his. ‘Not as good as you, of course,’

Jiyong hesitated before he continued, toying with Seunghyun’s fingers.

‘After about a year he got… I don’t know, we were too close, we fought a lot - stupid stuff really, but I couldn’t hack it anymore. So we broke up,’

Seunghyun wasn’t convinced that he was getting the full story here but he would take what he could get, given the circumstances.

‘When I started dating this other guy, Seehun- what an asshole, he cheated on me after only a couple weeks- anyway, I was angry and upset and Heechul was waiting for me when I got home,’

Jiyong sighed, squeezing Seunghyun’s fingers a little.

‘So I fucked him,’ Seunghyun blanched a little at that but tried not to show it, to be patient and let Jiyong finish. ‘We got back together for a month or so but it was more of the same. More fights. So I broke it off again,’

‘And it goes on like that,’ Jiyong sniffed, swiping under his nose. ‘Heechul was right, you know. It never works out with anyone I date, but I always end up going back to him in the end. Always,’

‘It makes me feel dirty and cheap, but I’d always go back,’ Jiyong bit at his lip, eyes trained on their hands. ‘And I’m terrified that it’s going to happen with you.’

Hearing all of that, Seunghyun had to take a minute to process it all. It sounded like Jiyong and Heechul had a whole lot of history, he’d known Jiyong much longer than Seunghyun had, probably knows him better than Seunghyun does as well. It was a little disconcerting to think about, and Seunghyun would be lying if he said that the image of those two together didn’t set his teeth on edge.

Carefully, Seunghyun asked ‘When was the last time you saw him?’

‘About a month before we- in the practice room, that first time,’ Jiyong said, relaxing a little but then he couldn’t seem to meet Seunghyun’s eyes. ‘I saw him on a night out at a club. I let him fuck me in the bathroom.’

Seunghyun spluttered. 

‘Yeah,’ Jiyong grimaced. ‘That was a low point.’

Seunghyun wanted to know more about this guy, what would make Jiyong want to leave him but take him back just as easily.

‘What did you guys fight about?’

Jiyong gave a shrug. ‘Just… stuff. He didn’t trust me, I got annoyed…’ he shook his head. ‘The point is … I don’t want him to wreck this.’ he squeezed Seunghyun’s hand again.

Seunghyun’s eyes trailed over Jiyong, mind filled with snapshots of their time together and then what the future could hold. He couldn’t imagine ever leaving him.

‘He won’t.’ Seunghyun assured him.

Jiyong laced their fingers together. ‘So, we’re good?’

‘Yeah, we’re good,’ Seunghyun brushed his thumb over Jiyong’s. ‘There’s nothing to worry about, I’m not letting you go anywhere.’

Jiyong beamed at him, sliding forward and giving Seunghyun a sweet kiss, settling beside him against the headboard.

‘Does this change anything?’ Jiyong asked him.

‘A little?’ Seunghyun said, then smiled somewhat. ‘I just had no idea you’d had so much sex.’

‘Not that much!’ he slapped Seunghyun’s chest, blushing. ‘You’re older, I’m sure you’ve had just as much.’

Seunghyun shrugged a shoulder. ‘Not really.’

‘Oh come on,’ Jiyong gushed. ‘You lose your virginity when you’re a teenager and then-’

‘I was twenty, actually.’

‘Twenty?’ Jiyong repeated, stricken. Then he was grinning, a hand on Seunghyun’s thigh. ‘Really? That’s so cute.’

‘Like I had time for any of that, I was training my ass off.’ Seunghyun defended himself.

‘So. Who was the lucky girl?’

Seunghyun smiled wistfully, nostalgia overtaking as her face popped into his mind. ‘Her name was Hyuna. She’s the only serious girlfriend I’ve had. The media kind of found out but Yang denied everything.’ Seunghyun was pretty sure that everyone knew about them. He was fairly open about it.

Jiyong nodded along. ‘I remember that. She was pretty,’ His fingers picked at the threading of Seunghyun’s jeans. ‘Why’d you break up?’

In truth, it was his fault. Seunghyun knew that she wanted more from him and he wanted to give her everything, but there were just some things that he couldn’t give. She wanted to settle down and get married, Seunghyun wanted to further his career. It was either her or music, and Seunghyun was selfish and naive enough to think that he could have both.

He gave Jiyong the watered down version.

‘We were both busy, and she said I didn’t care enough. We didn’t want the same things. So she left.’

Jiyong offered a sympathetic smile. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I’m over it,’ Seunghyun said, because it was true. What he felt for Hyuna didn’t compare to his feelings for Jiyong. He squeezed Jiyong’s knee. ‘I have you.’

Jiyong curled into him at the gesture, tilting his head up for a kiss that Seunghyun was more than happy to give him. It seemed all the talking was done, Jiyong coaxed him to follow him as he laid down on the bed. They made out lazily on top of the covers until Jiyong had to pull away to yawn.

Seunghyun laughed. ‘You _just_ had a nap.’

Jiyong cuddled closer, keeping his eyes closed and resting their foreheads together. ‘I want another one.’ He wedged a knee between Seunghyun’s.

He was almost asleep when Jiyong started shaking him. ‘Hyung, you can’t sleep here. You’ve got that CF filming tomorrow morning.’

‘I’ll tell Sunghoon to pick me up from here.’ Seunghyun mumbled into his pillow. He was way too tired to even think about moving.

‘But-’

‘Sssh. Sleep.’ Seunghyun drew him in closer, hand finding its way under Jiyong’s shirt to rest on the naked dip of his back.

Jiyong relented easily enough, letting Seunghyun cuddle in close. 

Seunghyun tried to stop his mind racing, he really did, but the thoughts didn’t stop coming, all centring around the realisation that he didn’t know Jiyong as well as he thought he did.

———————————————————

It had become the norm for Seunghyun and Jiyong to spend the night at each other’s apartments. Seunghyun much preferred it in Jiyong’s apartment; there was less chance he’d be bothered by the press and the cosiness of it reminded Seunghyun of a simpler time. Plus, Jiyong couldn’t bitch at him for being a slob.

Seunghyun had stayed over at Jiyong’s place again. He’d just woken up, not having decided yet whether or not he wanted to be awake. Out of habit, he reached out an arm for Jiyong, to drag him closer to cuddle, but his hand came up empty. He frowned, opening bleary eyes to see the empty spot beside him.

He was confused until eventually he registered the sound of the shower running in the bathroom and then-

Seunghyun perked up at the sound. The sound of Jiyong. Jiyong singing. Jiyong singing in the shower. It was melodic, higher pitched than his normal voice but it definitely had something to it. Seunghyun was a little disappointed that he hadn’t heard it sooner.

So he got up out of bed, forgoing his clothes and heading straight for the bathroom. As quietly as he could, he pushed the bathroom door open, the singing louder and more clear. Through the steam, he crept over to the glass door of the shower, watching the way the muscles in Jiyong’s back moved as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair.

Jiyong turned round to face him as he slicked his hair back, rubbing his eyes. He caught sight of Seunghyun then and jumped back in fright, singing forgotten as he swore.

Seunghyun gave an easy, satisfied smile. ‘Why’d you stop singing? Keep going.’

Jiyong stood motionless under the spray as Seunghyun pulled open the door and slipped inside to join him.

Jiyong came back to himself and smacked Seunghyun’s chest with a wet hand. ‘Don’t do that. You scared me.’

Seunghyun knew Jiyong was embarrassed but wasn’t too sure if it was because he’d snuck up on him or more to do with being caught singing.

‘You’re supposed to be asleep,’ Jiyong mumbled, wet strange falling into his eyes. ‘You usually sleep like the dead.’

Seunghyun bypassed his whinging.

‘Was that SNSD?’

‘Shut up.’ 

Jiyong tried to turn his back on him but Seunghyun was quick to crowd into his space and corner him against one of the walls, finding his lips easily enough. They made out under the spray of water until Jiyong relaxed against him, became pliant under his ministrations.

When Seunghyun pulled away to say gruffly ‘I like your voice.’ Jiyong was quick to blush, muttering back ‘At least someone does.’

Seunghyun really hated it when Jiyong made little biting comments like that, putting himself down, because Seunghyun thought he was amazing and couldn’t understand why Jiyong didn’t see that too.

In defiance, Seunghyun distracted him a bit by trailing kissing around his collarbone, Jiyong’s palms resting on Seunghyun’s abs as Seunghyun carefully rinsed out the rest of the shampoo from Jiyong’s hair. 

They finished up in the shower, Jiyong handed him a towel to dry off and Seunghyun’s eyes followed him back into the bedroom. He got as far as pulling a shirt out of the dresser before Seunghyun was pulling him back into his chest.

‘What’s the point? I’m just going to take them back off in an hour or so.’

Jiyong’s laughter was delighted as Seunghyun steered him back towards the bed and under the covers.

They lay there together for a while, legs entangled and lips meeting and parting over and over again.

Carefully, Seunghyun approached the topic again.

‘I don’t want you to hold it against me, that I made it as an idol,’

_And you didn’t_ was left unsaid but Jiyong heard it loud and clear, shifting to face Seunghyun better.

‘I don’t. It’s just…’ he paused, teeth tugging at his bottom lip. ‘Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if I had made it.’

Seunghyun nudged Jiyong’s chin up. ‘There’s still time you know.’

He received a wry smile. ‘That ship has sailed, but thanks,’ he smoothed a hand over Seunghyun’s chest. ‘I’d rather stick with my dancing anyway, it’s what I’m good at.’

Seunghyun wasn’t entirely convinced but he wasn’t prepared to argue. He just wanted Jiyong to be happy.

With an elated hum, Jiyong rolled on top of him. ‘Now, you better make good on that promise from earlier. Your hour’s almost up.’

———————————————————

A little while later and Jiyong had them dressed against Seunghyun’s will. He sat with Seunghyun on his couch, Seunghyun scrolling through his phone going through his schedule whilst Jiyong slouched with his feet in Seunghyun’s lap, reading a copy of vogue that Minji totally left there.

‘Tomorrow’s the last day I’ll have totally free for a while,’ Seunghyun said. He’d been in the studio a lot recently, he seemed to be always working on something or other. ‘We could go to the river, I’ve been meaning to take you to this restaurant there.’

Thankfully, Seunghyun couldn’t see Jiyong fretting from behind his magazine.

‘Actually, I have plans tomorrow.’ 

A few moments of silence and then his magazine was being lowered by Seunghyun’s finger, Seunghyun’s eyebrows raised in interest.

‘Oh yeah?’

Jiyong laughed, setting the magazine in his lap. Seunghyun’s curiosity was expected; these days Jiyong hardly ever hung out with people without Seunghyun in tow.

‘I’m having lunch with my sister.’ he explained. They did it every year.

‘Oh,’ Seunghyun nodded in understanding. ‘Special occasion?’

‘Well…’ Jiyong was wistful. Did he really want to divulge this information and all that came with it? With the look Seunghyun was giving him, it looked like he had no choice.

‘Fine,’ Jiyong huffed, gaging his reaction through the curtain of his untamed hair. ‘It’s my birthday tomorrow.’

It wasn’t even a special birthday or anything. He was only turning twenty-three. 

Seunghyun looked put-out nonetheless.

‘Seriously?’ Jiyong nodded. ‘And you weren’t going to tell me?’

Jiyong shrugged a shoulder, eyes falling to his lap. ‘It’s not a big deal.’ he said, because it wasn’t, it was just another day.

But Seunghyun wasn’t having it, hand finding Jiyong’s knee.

‘Of course it is. It’s your _birthday_. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this.’

‘It’s fine, Seunghyun. You don’t have to get me anything.’ Jiyong insisted with a smile. He really didn’t want some expensive gift just for the sake of it.

The way that Seunghyun was looking at him, Jiyong could tell that his mind was working, already planning something. With a quirk of his lips, Jiyong brought the magazine back up in front of his face.

‘If it means that much to you, you can take me to dinner tomorrow night.’ Jiyong offered.

Seunghyun’s laughter came tumbling out, squeezing the ticklish part of Jiyong’s knee until he squirmed. ‘Oh, can I now?’

———————————————————

On his birthday, Jiyong went to meet his sister for a late lunch. Dami had picked the restaurant, a little place uptown that did the most delicious dumplings that Jiyong had ever had.

‘You don’t call me as much anymore.’ 

Jiyong glanced up at her, trickles of guilt gnawing at his stomach. It was true; he hadn’t been talking to her as much lately, and it was all Seunghyun’s fault.

‘Sorry. I guess I’ve been a little busy lately.’

‘Just pick up the phone once in a while, yeah?’

‘I will,’ he took another bite. ‘So what’s new with you?’

‘Everything’s pretty much same old same old. Jay got a raise.’

Jaebum was Dami’s boyfriend of two years. Jiyong liked him well enough.

‘That’s great.’

Dami nodded, taking another dumpling from the centre plate. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’

Jiyong tried to school his features but it was useless. A grin betrayed him and his gaze dropped down to his food. 

‘I don’t know.’

‘Jiyong-ah.’ she urged from across the table.

Jiyong shook his head, still grinning. ‘Nope.’

‘Please?’

She kept goading on and on until Jiyong found his resolve weakened enough.

‘Fine. I’ll tell you. But you’ve got to be cool, okay?’

Dami gave a nod, half amused and the rest of her wary.

Jiyong poked at his food, moving it around his plate. ‘You know the idol I dance for? T.O.P?’

Dami nodded again, still looking expectant. Jiyong gave her the same look right back, watching as her face turned from confused to dubious, scandalised, and then she was cupping her hands over her grin.

‘You’re kidding. You’ve got to be kidding me,’

Jiyong shook his head, laughing.

‘This is bullshit,’ she laughed right back. ‘I need some hard evidence.’

Still laughing, he figured that giving her a little proof wouldn’t hurt.

He pulled out his phone, scrolling through the camera roll. ‘Not that I need to prove anything to you, because I don’t, but here.’

He showed her one of the selcas that he’d taken of the two of them. They were in bed one morning last week when Jiyong had been playing on his phone and decided to take a few photos. This one had him with his gummy smile pointed at the camera, Seunghyun spooned in behind him, an arm visible around Jiyong as he pulled a cute face over his shoulder. It was only from the chest up but it was pretty obvious that they were both naked.

Dami snatched his phone out of his hands, eyes wide and grin wider. 

‘Shit. My baby brother’s fucking Top,’

Jiyong’s laugh was practically manic by now, quietening down when he started drawing attention to them. He managed to get his phone back before the questions began.

‘How long have you been keeping this from me?’

‘A couple months? I wasn’t sure if it was- but yeah, it’s pretty great.’

‘You have to tell me everything.’ she demanded.

‘I don’t have to tell you shit.’

Dami whined, latching onto his wrist and shaking. ‘Come on,’ she urged. ‘At least tell me what he’s hiding under all those fancy clothes.’

Jiyong waved her off and changed the topic.

After saying goodbye to her and making what they both knew was an empty promise to call more, Jiyong started his walk back home from the restaurant. He’d gotten to the corner of his street when he felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket. Fishing it out, Jiyong pressed his lips together in an attempt to stop the disgusting smile forming when he saw who was calling. He picked up on the third ring.

‘Hey.’

‘Happy birthday.’ Seunghyun’s voice rumbled down the line.

Jiyong grinned despite himself, stuffing his other hand in his front pocket. 

‘Thanks, dork. Did you call me just to say that?’

He heard Seunghyun laugh and swore he could actually hear when the dimples would form on his cheeks. ‘No, actually. Can you come over?’

Jiyong wasn’t a fool. It was his birthday and Seunghyun was extending a vague invitation for him to drop by.

‘I’m warning you, if you’ve planned anything for my birthday I’ll-’

‘I haven’t, I swear,’ Seunghyun laughed, voice softening. ‘Just come over, I wanna see you.’

Jiyong chewed at his lip, relenting. ‘Okay. I’m nearly home so I’ll be there in like twenty?’

‘Great. See you soon.’

So Jiyong walked the rest of the way home, only stopping long enough to freshen up and grab his car keys.

Car parked outside, Jiyong made his way up to Seunghyun’s apartment. When Seunghyun came to the door with that boyish smile, Jiyong mirrored his expression out of reflex. 

Quietly slipping inside, he noticed just how dark it was in there as Seunghyun gently eased the door closed. He took a step further into the apartment and then stopped in his tracks, lips parting.

All the lights were off, dark except for the candles that were scattered across the living room, filling shelves and windowsills. Red streamers hung across the mantel and dangled from the ceiling lights, a single balloon hovering back and forth near the TV. Filling the screen was the menu screen for a movie that Jiyong could hazard a guess as being delightfully crappy since Seunghyun had picked it out. And then to top it off, on the coffee table lay plastic bags from the takeout place down the street that he’s always whining at Seunghyun to buy for him.

Jiyong just stood there staring for god knows how long, not fully grasping that Seunghyun had gone to all this trouble for him.

He was vaguely aware of Seunghyun moving round to stand next to him. ‘So, I lied,’ Seunghyun gave a short chuckle. ‘I know it’s not anything special, I didn’t really have much time to- are you okay?’

Looking up at Seunghyun, he found his face twisted in concern. Jiyong was still gaping. Feeling his eyes start to sting he tried to will the tears back. He’d always been a happier crier and it was always embarrassing. How did he ever peg this amazing man as a bad guy?

‘I’m fine,’ he croaked back, offering Seunghyun a small smile. ‘It’s lovely, Hyung.’

The tears spilled over down his cheeks and Jiyong scrubbed at his face with a laugh.

Seunghyun returned his smile, hand coming up to help wipe away the tears at the corner of his eye. ‘Come on. The food’s getting cold.’

Jiyong could feel his face beginning to ache from smiling so much. He swayed forward, fitting his mouth to Seunghyun’s in a fleeting kiss, a thank you. 

He felt Seunghyun take his hand, leading him over to the sofa, switching on the movie and opening up the takeout bags.

They ate their fill and spent the rest of the night curled up together watching Seunghyun’s crappy movies. Jiyong fell asleep like that, Seunghyun’s arm around him, head resting on his shoulder.

Best birthday ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters keep getting longer and longer, I hope that makes up for the wait :)
> 
> I actually had to cut this chapter short because I got so carried away so half of the angsty stuff I had planned will be in the next chapter.
> 
> Once again, thank you for taking the time to comment, they’re awesome as always, keep them coming! <3


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a few weeks since Jiyong’s accident and his ankle had healed nicely, but Woobin still wouldn’t let him participate at dance practice. The longer he went without dancing, the more antsy Jiyong grew.

They were at Seunghyun’s place one afternoon and Seunghyun was relaxing in his downtown, slouched in the living room with his feet up watching TV. Well, he was _trying_ to watch TV.

Jiyong was stalking back and forth between the bedroom, the kitchen, the living room, carrying dirty plates and cups and laundry that Seunghyun was getting round to cleaning up.

‘You’re such a slob,’ Jiyong whined, plucking up another shirt strewn on the hallway floor between his thumb and forefinger. He gave it a curious sniff and then snapped his head back, grimacing. ‘This _reeks_. When was the last time you did laundry?’

‘I get it sent out.’ Seunghyun mumbled, eyes still focused on the TV.

‘But you’ve got a washer here.’

Seunghyun heard him talk but was too caught up in his show to pay attention. He was used to this by now, Jiyong going on at him about not putting his underwear in the hamper or leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor; he’d gotten pretty good at tuning it out.

‘ _Seunghyun_.’

‘ _What?_ ’

When he got no response, Seunghyun spun round to look over the back of the couch, finding Jiyong stood there with his hip cocked, looking none too impressed.

‘Were you even listening to me?’

‘Kind of?’

Jiyong arched an eyebrow at him. Wrong answer.

Seunghyun coughed. ‘I mean, yes. Sorry.’

Rolling his eyes away, Jiyong looked around the room, nose wrinkling. ‘This place is a mess.’

Seunghyun followed his gaze but couldn’t see anything wrong; sure, it was a little cluttered but that was no different than normal. But without dancing, Jiyong had a lot more time on his hands and if this is what made him feel better then Seunghyun wasn’t going to stop him.

‘It’s fine,’ he said. Jiyong didn’t seem to agree. ‘If you don’t like it then be my guest.’

Jiyong narrowed his eyes down at him. He was a little scared until Jiyong sighed, stepping round the sofa and slumping down next to him. Out of habit, Seunghyun lifted his arm and let it fall around Jiyong, Jiyong’s hand gripping his forearm and manoeuvring it to where he wanted it.

‘I knew you were too good to be true.’

Seunghyun peaked down at him, about to argue when he saw the smirk on Jiyong’s lips.

‘I guess I could tidy up a little more.’ Seunghyun suggested, knowing full well that there was a slim chance that he’d actually follow through with that. He was messy by nature. Jiyong seemed to know this too, not pressing any further.

‘What’s for dinner?’ Jiyong asked, shifting a little to get comfortable.

‘I might be late back from the studio. You can order in whatever you want.’

‘Again?’ 

The disappointment was clear in his voice. Seunghyun felt like a dick. It was the third time this week that he’d had to blow Jiyong off to stay in the studio or attend meetings or whatever else his schedule called for. Everything was getting so hectic lately that he barely had any free time to spend with Jiyong.

He tried to catch Jiyong’s eye but Jiyong was now pretending to watch the TV, so Seunghyun nudged at his foot with his own instead, pulling a small smile out of him.

‘Sorry,’ he murmured. ‘Next time.’

Jiyong nodded at his apology, curling up closer to Seunghyun.

———————————————————

Seunghyun’s time in the studio ended up with him sitting in on one of Yang’s meetings about his album’s profit margins. Or it could’ve been his new track releases. He wasn’t paying much attention so he couldn’t know for sure.

He sat there, willing the minutes to tick by faster when he was startled out of his staring contest with the clock. His phone buzzed with a text message. Glancing at the screen, Seunghyun saw that it was from Jiyong, so he unlocked the phone with his thumb, heating stirring in his stomach at what he found.

He dropped the hand holding the phone into his lap, face down against his thigh, composing himself before he peeked at it again, mindful of Sunghoon beside him.

The selca that Jiyong had sent him was scandalous. He was clearly lounging in Seunghyun’s bed. Naked. His sheets slung so low over Jiyong that Seunghyun could see the jut of his hip bones, the dark thatch of hair between them and a teasing glimpse of the base of his cock. 

To Seunghyun’s displeasure, the picture cut off at Jiyong’s neck but it was clearly him, if not for the telling tattoos but for how well Seunghyun had gotten to know Jiyong’s body in the past few months.

The caption below it read ‘ _Dinner?_ ’

Seunghyun’s lips quirked up, allowing himself to check his attention back into the meeting, gaging how much longer it was going to last. It appeared that Yang was building up to wrapping everything up so Seunghyun typed back ‘ _Looks delicious. Don’t move, be back soon._ ’ before pocketing his phone, choosing to ignore the curious glances Sunghoon was shooting him. Suddenly, Seunghyun found himself very hungry.

———————————————————

The night was dragging on. Seunghyun’s attendance at this gala wasn’t something that he could worm his way out of no matter how hard he tried. He needed to represent the brand, put on a smile for the cameras and look like he was having a good time when all he wanted to do was scrub his face free of makeup and lie down for just five damn minutes.

The place was decked out with lavish decorations and more booze than Seunghyun could drink in a year. He didn’t know many people there and Sunghoon had wandered off long ago.

He pulled out his phone from his blazer pocket when he felt it buzz.

_Sat on the couch watching reruns. Not as glamorous as your evening._

Lips quirking at Jiyong’s text, he typed out a quick reply.

_Glamorous but dull, wish you were here. Don’t wait up._

‘Seunghyun-ssi, have you met Jaewook yet?’

Seunghyun pocketed his phone, offering a polite smile to his host and accepting the flute of champagne offered to him.

It was nearly 2am when Seunghyun was finally free, sat up front in Sunghoon’s car on the way to Jiyong’s apartment, yanking at his top buttons and loosening his tie.

‘Traffic’s not too bad. Should have you there in no time.’ his manager thought out loud as he changed lanes on the highway.

Seunghyun fiddled with the clunky jewellery around his wrist and fingers, staring over at Sunghoon.

‘What’ll happen to you when I’m gone?’ he asked. The thought had been playing on his mind recently.

‘Mm?’

‘When I leave. Won’t you be out of a job?’

Sunghoon took a moment to answer.

‘Nah, Yang’ll probably stick me with some newbie trainees for a bit, to save costs.’

Seunghyun smirked. ‘Bet you’ll miss me then, stuck with a bunch of kids.’

‘Of course I’ll miss you,’ Sunghoon’s voice was sincere, until he threw Seunghyun a half smile. ‘How could I not miss a gigantic pain in my ass?’

Seunghyun laughed along with Sunghoon’s snickering.

When they finally arrived, Seunghyun hopped out and sluggishly made it up to Jiyong’s apartment, feeling for the spare key above the door frame that Jiyong had told him about.

Inside, the TV was still on, the flickering light filling the otherwise dark room. Seunghyun could just about make out Jiyong laying slumped on the couch at an awkward angle, head hanging off the arm and legs splayed out in front of him. He sighed, kicking his shoes off by the door. He’d told Jiyong not to wait up for him.

He found the remote and sent the room into darkness, crouching down beside a sleeping Jiyong. Seunghyun thought about waking him up but decided against it, not wanting to disturb him. Instead, he manoeuvred Jiyong into his arms and carefully heaved him up, carrying him across the apartment and setting him down under his sheets. Jiyong remained unaffected, snuffling into the pillow beneath his head.

Seunghyun shrugged out of his jacket, laying it over the back of a chair before he started on his shirt cuffs. He’d gotten to taking off his tie when Jiyong roused behind him. Seunghyun turned to find him sat up in the middle of the bed, bleary eyes finding Seunghyun.

‘You’re back.’ Jiyong sniffed, rubbing the sleep out of one eye.

Dropping his tie, Seunghyun padded over to the bed, not caring that he was probably going to wrinkle the rest of his suit as he crawled beside Jiyong, fingers ruffling into his bedhead. 

‘I told you I’d be late back.’

Jiyong, voice still thick with sleep, garbled out through a yawn ‘Mmm, I know, but I hadn’t seen you all day.’

Seunghyun submitted to Jiyong’s wandering hands, laying down and letting the younger man curl up against his side. The truth was that Seunghyun had missed him too; going a day without seeing Jiyong was hard, he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was.

‘So how was it?’ Jiyong asked, taking one of Seunghyun’s hands between his and playing with his fingers.

Seunghyun made a noncommittal sound. ‘Too much wine and polite conversation.’

‘Sounds awful. How dare they.’ Jiyong deadpanned, twisting one of Seunghyun’s rings around his finger before sliding it off and onto his own.

Chuckling, Seunghyun poked him. ‘Thief.’

Jiyong grinned down at his newly acquired piece of jewellery.

‘You gonna give that back?’

A laugh bubbled out from Jiyong as he gave a resounding ‘Nope.’

Seunghyun didn’t care much about the ring, Jiyong could keep it if he really wanted it. He was more concerned with how the tension of the day was slowly easing away from him, making Seunghyun more aware of how hard it was getting to keep his eyes open.

‘Come on. Sleep.’ Seunghyun mumbled, hooking a leg between Jiyong’s and pulling the sheets over the both of them.

‘Aren’t you going to change?’ 

Jiyong’s hand brushed over Seunghyun’s dress shirt, reminding him that he was still fully dressed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care that much, not wanting to sacrifice his current position.

‘Nope. Comfy.’ 

He squeezed his hold on Jiyong for emphasis, feeling more than he heard him laugh. Seunghyun followed that laughter into unconsciousness, sleep filled with dreams of lithe-moving backup dancers.

———————————————————

Another day and Seunghyun was heading into the studio, again, dragging his feet as he went. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, making music was what he lived for and hanging out with Teddy and the guys was always fun. But lately, he found that he’d rather be somewhere else, with someone else.

Inside, Teddy and Kush had already started without him, computers powered up and blasting out snippets of potential songs.

‘Dude, you’ve got enough stuff here for a whole new album.’ Kush said once Seunghyun had pulled up a chair next to them, scrolling down song after song on the screen in front of him.

‘That’s the plan.’

‘Yang’s got you working way too much,’ Teddy commented. ‘You literally just released an album.’

‘You’re telling me, but you know what he’s like.’

The both of them nodded along, knowing full well what Yang was like when it came down to business. All Yang saw was the money he could rake in.

In the next couple hours they managed to record the best part of two songs that they’d been working on, so they kicked back for a bit. Seunghyun moved to slouch down low on the couch as Teddy passed around the beers.

‘I better not,’ Seunghyun declined when Teddy offered him a bottle. ‘Got that interview at 3.’

Putting the bottle back in the mini fridge, Teddy turned to Kush. ‘So what’s the plan for tomorrow night?’

Kush took a swig of his beer. ‘We’re gonna hit up Hongdae at around eleven.’

‘Cool, I’ll let Seungho know.’

They both looked expectantly at Seunghyun when he failed to answer.

‘I think I’ll give this one a miss. Maybe next time.’

Kush frowned at him. ‘You’re not coming?’

‘Not really in the mood.’

‘Since when?’ Teddy laughed. ‘You’re always up for tight dresses and pretty faces.’

Maybe once, but not anymore. Seunghyun tried to give an apologetic smile as he tampered down the blush that wanted to spread across his cheeks when the image of Jiyong clad in a skimpy little dress had his brain short-circuiting.

‘Next time, I promise. I think I’m just going to stay in.’

They didn’t fight him on it. Seunghyun hung around until it neared three o’clock and then he left for the interview. Sunghoon found him along the way, the both of them making their way to one of the sitting rooms on the next floor down where the interview was being held.

Seunghyun got ushered into a chair where his makeup and hair were done. He let his eyes wander over to the set up, two chairs in front of the camera and too-bright lights, a fairly attractive woman who seemed to be the host, dressed elegantly and talking closely with a few of the staff.

From what Sunghoon had told him, the interview was supposed to talk about the success of the tour and what he planned to do next

The host, Yuri, her name was, she was very relaxed in her interviewing style, making him feel at ease throughout the whole thing. He answered her questions for the most part, giving vague answers to those that he’d rather avoid talking about, like his personal life, but thankfully she didn’t pry any further.

Once the cameras were off, he thanked her and shook her hand.

‘It was nice to meet you.’

Yuri’s laughter was bubbly and a tad too high as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.

‘You too, Seunghyun-ssi. Thank you for answering so honestly.’

She wouldn’t meet his eyes, only daring a few fleeting glances up at his face.

‘This may be a bit forward of me,’ she started to say, edging ever so closer in her seat. ‘You skirted around the question about having any girlfriend. Off the record, do you? Have one?’

There was no simple way of answering this. But she had admired his honestly, so he spoke candidly.

‘No, I don’t have a girlfriend.’

Seunghyun could tell that this pleased her, judging by the duck of her head. This really wasn’t where Seunghyun wanted this to go, not wanting to have to hurt her feelings. He held his breath until she finally asked.

‘Then, would you be interested in getting coffee with me?’

Taking a moment to pretend to consider it, Seunghyun gave her what he hoped was a convincing smile.

‘I’ll have my manager get back to you on that, my schedule’s tight these days.’

She accepted his answer with a hopeful smile of her own, saying her goodbyes and bowing as she left to coordinate with her staff. His eyes followed her as she left. There might’ve been a time when he would’ve jumped at the chance of going on a date with a girl like her.

Shaking the thoughts away, Seunghyun lifted himself out of his seat, searching the place for Sunghoon, finding him leaning against the back wall, fingers tapping away at his phone. He took a step toward him and that’s when he registered Jiyong hunched alongside him, sharp eyes targeted on something. 

Following his eye-line, Seunghyun found Yuri, packing away her stuff with her crew.

When Seunghyun reached the two of them, Jiyong’s gaze jumped back to him, lips forming a tight smile.

Confused, Seunghyun asked ‘You okay?’

‘Fine,’ Jiyong answered brusquely. ‘Are you finished?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Then lets go.’

In the back of Sunghoon’s car, Seunghyun watched as Jiyong stared out of the window at the outside world. He hadn’t said a word since they’d started driving.

‘Did I do something?’ Seunghyun asked quietly. He couldn’t remember doing anything wrong, maybe it was something he hadn’t done?

Jiyong just shrugged a shoulder. They were stuck in traffic, the car barely moving, but Jiyong continued to stare out, body angled away from Seunghyun.

‘Ji.’

Still not looking at him, Jiyong asked ‘Do you like her?’

Seunghyun’s face scrunched up.

‘Huh? Who?’

‘The _interviewer_ ,’ Jiyong stressed, eyes finally finding Seunghyun’s, voice sharp. ‘Do you think she’s pretty?’

That was when Seunghyun understood. The way Jiyong had been watching Yuri, his chagrinned face. It all made sense now.

Seunghyun bit back a smile.

‘You’re jealous.’

Jiyong scoffed at that, like it was absurd to even consider, returning his gaze to the window.

‘You are,’ Seunghyun laughed, the whole thing feeling ludicrous to him. Because why would he look at anyone else when he had Jiyong?

But Jiyong continued to ignore him, pouting out the window. Moving a hand to Jiyong’s thigh, he mumbled around his smile ‘You’re so cute.’

He felt the brunt of Jiyong’s glare then and couldn’t help laughing again, even as Jiyong knocked his hand off of his leg.

‘Come on. You don’t trust me?’

‘Not you, _her. All of them_.’ Jiyong sounded exhausted, turning to face Seunghyun better.

‘Do I not get a say in this?’ Seunghyun raised his eyebrows. ‘You can’t seriously think I’d want her.’

‘She’s gorgeous, hyung.’

Seunghyun went to a argue but Jiyong cut in before he had the chance. ‘Don’t lie. She is, even I can see that.’

Objectively, yes, she was. But Seunghyun didn’t want the ‘ideal woman’. He wanted bratty and obnoxious, he wanted bossy and devoted. He wanted scratchy, stubbly early morning kisses, lines of ink waiting to be explored, breathy moans and fire eyes.

He’d take all of that over someone like her any day.

‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t want her, I want you.’

Sliding over in his seat, Seunghyun stroked the back of Jiyong’s hair, knotting his fingers in it just the way he knew Jiyong liked. He risked a kiss to Jiyong’s temple, holding it there as Jiyong let out a sigh, all the fight seeping out of him as he let his head fall to rest against Seunghyun’s shoulder.

Glancing up for a moment, Seunghyun caught Sunghoon’s rueful eyes in the rearview mirror.

‘Don’t look at me like that. We’re not going to get cooties in your backseat.’

Sunghoon’s eyes rolled, gaze falling back onto the slow-moving cars in front.

‘Damn right you’re not,’ he muttered. ‘Can’t you cool it with the cutesy-gross stuff until we get to your place?’

Jiyong’s head lifted, an amused quirk to his lips.

Seunghyun couldn’t help leaning down to his ear, lips brushing it as he whispered. ‘Just so we’re clear, I think you’re prettier.’

Jiyong’s laughter was answer enough, the way that he snuggled in closer to Seunghyun cementing the fact the he and Seunghyun were good. Jiyong may still hold some jealousy, maybe he always would, but for now he seemed to accept that Seunghyun wasn’t going to stray.

———————————————————

Their hundredth day of dating was coming up and Seunghyun had big plans. He’d convinced Sunghoon to arrange a short trip to Jeju for them; his manager would have to tag along of course, to keep Seunghyun out of trouble and to keep up appearances. It was only for one night, the most that Seunghyun’s schedule these days would allow for, but it would be nice to get away from everything even if it was only for a short time.

Only, he hadn’t exactly told Jiyong about it yet.

‘Where are we going?’ Jiyong asked for the umpteenth time that morning.

Seunghyun, Jiyong and Sunghoon were cramped in the back of a taxi. It was around five or six am and they were on their way to the airport, not that Jiyong knew of course.

‘Be patient.’

That seemed to wind Jiyong up even more. He fixed a bleary, stubborn gaze on Seunghyun.

‘Tell me where we’re going or I’m getting out of the car.’

Seunghyun just chuckled, squeezing Jiyong’s shoulder tightly. 

‘Relax, it’s supposed to be a surprise.’

When they finally arrived at the airport, Jiyong turned to him, eyes alight.

‘Now you’ve _got_ to tell me where we’re going.’

Seunghyun grinned down at him with a shake of his head, hands moving to fix Jiyong’s face mask up over his nose. He donned his own and climbed out of the car after Sunghoon, helping him with the luggage.

There were a few cameras waiting for them but Sunghoon ushered them all inside. They went through the motions of checking their bags and going through security and then they were in the priority lounge.

Sunghoon handed Seunghyun his and Jiyong’s tickets, dropping a quick ‘7:10, okay?’ and then he was wandering off to find some coffee.

Jiyong eyed the tickets in his hand, expectant, so Seunghyun finally indulged him and handed it over.

Jiyong’s lips stretched over his teeth in a wide grin. ‘Jeju?’

‘Tomorrrow’s our hundredth day of dating,’ he said, keeping his voice low. ‘I wanted to do something special.’

That made Jiyong beam at him even brighter, eyes shining with something familiar. The toe of his shoe knocked Seunghyun’s as he murmured ‘I really want to kiss you right now.’

A laugh bubbled out of Seunghyun, just so pleased that Jiyong liked his present.

‘There’ll be plenty of time for that later.’

They sat in first class side by side, Sunghoon tucked away in the row next to them. Jiyong couldn’t seem to sit still, fidgeting in his seat for what felt like the whole of the short flight until they landed in Jeju.

‘Where do you want to go first?’ Seunghyun asked him.

Smiling, Jiyong shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.’

‘You’ve never been to Jeju?’

Jiyong shook his head, still smiling. 

‘Well then, you’re gonna get the full tourist experience.’ Seunghyun told him, leading him off with Sunghoon in tow.

And so Seunghyun showed him the sights. He’d been to Jeju himself many times before but watching Jiyong experience it was like being there for the first time all over again. They went round museums and trekked up hills and saw waterfalls, all the while with Sunghoon close by but he was a good sport about it. He knew when to join in and when to hang back and give them a bit of privacy.

Jiyong had his phone out the whole time, taking pictures of everything. Seunghyun was admiring the view of the coast from up on the deserted hillside when he turned and caught sight of Jiyong in his peripheral, taking a cheeky selca with Seunghyun in the background. 

With mock anger, Seunghyun stalked up behind him, Jiyong cackling as he watched through the front view of his camera. Seunghyun came to a stop behind him, head poking over Jiyong’s shoulder.

‘If you wanted a picture, all you had to do was ask.’

‘But that’s not as fun.’

Nevertheless, Jiyong took him up on his offer and snapped a few shots of the two of them.

They ate dinner at an outdoor restaurant near the water’s edge. Sunghoon, forever the third wheel, sat with them.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Jiyong commented, eyes fixed on the waves in the distance, watching the tide sweep in and then retreat just as fast as it came.

Seunghyun didn’t even try to censor himself.

‘Yeah, you are.’

A dark flush filled Jiyong’s face, even the tips of his ears. Sunghoon wretched beside them but Jiyong’s lips still curled upwards, content at the compliment.

‘I think it’s time we headed back to the hotel, don’t you?’ Sunghoon said, hailing down the waiter. 

Back at the hotel, they retreated to their rooms. Ajoining, to keep up appearances. But Seunghyun didn’t even have to ask when Jiyong was already slipping inside Seunghyun’s room.

Jiyong flopped down on top of the freshly made bed, grinning over at Seunghyun where he stood searching through his suitcase. ‘Today has been… perfect.’ 

With a grin of his own, Seunghyun padded over to perch on the edge of the bed, wrapped box in hand.

‘It’s not over yet.’

Jiyong noticed the box in his hand, giving a huff and shaking his head.

‘Hyung, this trip was more than enough.’

He tried to urge Seunghyun to keep it but Seunghyun pressed it into his hands.

‘But you didn’t let me spoil you on your birthday,’ Seunghyun said, grin widening as he urged ‘Open it.’

Jiyong looked doubtful for a moment, chewing at his bottom lip. And then his resolve crumbled and he was unwrapping the box with care, trying to rip as little of the paper as possible. As the jewellery box was revealed, a knowing smile formed on Jiyong’s lips, stretching even wider when he opened it and saw the familiar bracelet, the one he’d been eyeing up on their last shopping trip together.

‘So you can stop stealing my stuff.’ Seunghyun quipped.

He found Jiyong’s hand and rubbed his thumb over where his ring was still sitting around Jiyong’s finger. He hadn’t taken it off since he’d stolen it from him that one morning.

‘You can have it back if you want.’

Jiyong looked guilty then, and that wasn’t the way Seunghyun wanted him to feel at all.

‘No, you keep it,’ he said, eyes flitting up to meet his. ‘I like the way it looks on you.’

He relished in the dark hue of red that filled Jiyong’s cheeks. Seunghyun lived for those blushes, for being the cause of them.

Jiyong bit back a smile, squeezing Seunghyun’s hand back.

‘I didn’t get you anything.’ he pointed out.

Seunghyun smirked. ‘Oh, I’m sure I can think of something.’

Jiyong’s laughter was knocked out of him as Seunghyun pushed him back onto the bed, bracelet lying forgotten beside them as Jiyong arched beneath him and opened his mouth to the onslaught of Seunghyun’s tongue. 

Clothes were shed and raged breaths became hitched whines and guttural moans as Seunghyun slammed into him. Seunghyun had a firm hand on Jiyong’s ass, guiding him into each thrust, the other on the mattress to hold himself up. Jiyong clung urgently at Seunghyun’s shoulders, the back of his neck, encouraging him with pleased little _uh_ ’s. 

Seunghyun watched his face, eyes stubbornly shut until a particularly brutal slam of Seunghyun’s hips had them flying open. When Jiyong caught Seunghyun’s eyes on him, his grin was so bright that Seunghyun had to stop himself from saying something stupid and ruining everything.

Using his hold around Seunghyun’s neck, Jiyong yanked him down until their lips met messily, spurring Seunghyun on. Jiyong kept them both close as Seunghyun fucked an orgasm out of the both of them, kept holding on through the dimming throngs of pleasure and into the comfortable bliss that followed.

Jiyong kept kissing him, not as desperately as before but the heat was still there. Just slow, tender kisses that had Seunghyun going in for more. He didn’t remember falling asleep that night, didn’t remember when they’d stopped kissing or if they even had. Jiyong had him hook, line and sinker and Seunghyun was a willing victim.

———————————————————

Another week later and it finally happened.

Dance practice was about to begin, Minji and Seunghyun were getting into formation with the others whilst Jiyong took his customary spot at the back of the room, slumped down on the benches. Seunghyun really felt for him, he hated seeing Jiyong so miserable every week.

Woobin took his place at the front of the room in front of the mirrors, about to get things started when-

‘GD!’

Jiyong’s head shot up at Woobin’s holler of his name and sat up a little straighter, looking a little fearful.

‘Stop slacking! Get in line like everybody else!’ Woobin shouted, trying to remain authoritative but he couldn’t seem to stop a smile easing onto his face.

Seunghyun watched as Jiyong’s eyes lit up and he jumped to his feet, finding his empty spot among the other dancers and quickly limbering up as best he could before Woobin started the music up. He knew that Jiyong had been watching them for weeks, seeing them learn new choreography that he was dying to try out for himself.

In the mirrors, Seunghyun could see that Jiyong was a little rusty with his movements but after a few minutes he’d slipped right back into it, finding his rhythm and giving it his all, as usual.

By the end of it, Jiyong was a little more red-faced than usual but no one could deny the sheer happiness practically exuding from him. Seunghyun was about to make his way over to him when he heard his name being called.

‘Seunghyun,’ Woobin waved him over, so Seunghyun followed. ‘Those extra sessions with GD seem to have really helped you. You’ve improved a lot.’

Seunghyun wasn’t sure where this conversation was heading but gave a duck of his head.

‘Thank you.’

‘Though, they’re hardly necessary anymore, are they? You’ve been doing just fine without him these past few weeks,’ Woobin was scribbling away at his clipboard as he spoke. ‘Yang wanted to work some more stuff into your schedule. Since your dancing’s up to scratch now, you won’t be needing the extra sessions. He told me to tell you to head to the studio in those times instead.’

Seunghyun’s stomach dropped at the news. No more ‘dance practices’ with Jiyong. That meant even less time to spend together than they already had. But Seunghyun knew this wasn’t something that he could fight against.

‘If Hyunsuk insists.’

‘Good,’ Woobin gave a brief smile and nodded his head. ‘I’ll see you next week.’

When Seunghyun padded over to Jiyong, he was chatting with Minji at full speed, gushing about the new choreography. His eyes met Seunghyun as he came closer, directing all his attention Seunghyun’s way.

They parted ways with Minji on their way out; she headed off to meet Youngbae for lunch whilst Seunghyun tried to soak up the twenty minutes before he was due at a meeting, spending it walking the halls with Jiyong.

‘What’d Woobin-hyung want?’ Jiyong asked him not long after Minji had left.

He seemed genuinely curious. Seunghyun gave a tight smile, sighing.

‘No more extra dance practices for me and you,’ he explained, dragging his feet. ‘He said you’ve got me up to scratch.’

Glancing over, he caught Jiyong’s face falling a little at the news, his eyes watching his own feet as he walked. Like Seunghyun, he was probably thinking about their limited free time together being cut even further.

‘So you won’t be needing me anymore then.’

Is that what Jiyong thought?

Seunghyun thought it was obvious but felt the need for Jiyong to hear it.

‘I don’t just keep you around to help with my dancing.’

Jiyong’s lips quirked up, still watching his own steps.

‘No, I know,’ he bumped Seunghyun with his shoulder. ‘It’s good. That you’re good, I mean.’

‘Just means Yang’ll want me to improve on something else.’

‘So, you’ll be in the studio more?’

Lately, it seemed like Seunghyun was already spending too much time in the recording studio, not going unnoticed by Jiyong. 

Seunghyun wasn’t going to let this change anything. They’d come too far to let something as trivial as this break them.

‘It’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll make time for us.’

———————————————————

It was October.

Seunghyun was in his recording studio with Teddy, not really getting anywhere productive. Teddy had an interesting beat playing on loop, bobbing his head to it as he spun in his chair slowly. When they weren’t chatting, Seunghyun focused closely on the series of doodles he was working on.

The extra time that Seunghyun was spending in the studio was starting to put a bit of strain on his relationship with Jiyong. But Seunghyun was nothing if not perseverant. He’d carved out time in his schedule so that they could sometimes meet for lunch or so that he was home a few nights a week for dinner or so that on the odd morning they could spend an extra hour in bed. 

A knock at the door almost made Seunghyun jump. There’d been a lull in their conversation and he’d immersed himself in creating a very friendly looking dragon in his lyrics book.

The door edged open and Jiyong poked his head inside, face a little uncertain. ‘Um, Hyung?’

Seunghyun’s first reaction was to grin at Jiyong, but then he glanced back at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was way past 6 o’clock, the time he said he’d meet Jiyong to head home. 

Wow. Jiyong’s apartment is **home**.

‘Shit, right. Sorry, I lost track of time,’ Seunghyun apologised, gesturing for Jiyong to step further inside, letting the door swing closed behind him. ‘You know Teddy, right?’

Jiyong politely bowed his head, a habit that Seunghyun was seeing more of these days. He wasn’t sure if it was Jiyong becoming more mature or something else entirely, but either way it was good to see. 

Seunghyun watched on as Jiyong then offered up his own name. ‘GD. It’s nice to finally meet the guy who makes the music we dance to.’

‘Ah GD, of course,’ Teddy’s voice became excitable as he held out his fist for Jiyong to bump. ‘You’ve got quite a reputation, you know that?’

Jiyong huffed out a laugh, scratching at the back of his neck. ‘Yeah, I’m working on that.’

‘Don’t. You’ve made a name for yourself, which is hard to do in dancing. So competitive,’ Teddy said, pushing himself up out of his swivel chair and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. ‘I’m gonna get going too. See you tomorrow, Seunghyun. GD.’

Seunghyun reciprocated the bro-handshake offered to him. Teddy clapped Jiyong on his shoulder on his way out, leaving the two of them alone.

Jiyong moved further into the room, curiosity seeming to have gotten the better of him as he headed straight for the soundboard, fingertips lightly brushing over all the different buttons and dials.

Rolling his chair over to one of the keyboards, Seunghyun started to play chopsticks.

Jiyong’s answering laughter was far more musical than Seunghyun’s attempt at playing piano. Jiyong shuffled over to the keyboard and Seunghyun moved aside to let him have his go, finding it hard to keep his jaw off the floor when he witnessed Jiyong do a pretty decent rendition of some classical piece that he could’t remember the name of.

‘Lessons every Saturday until I was fifteen,’ Jiyong explained, fingers trickling out another delightful tune against the keys as he gave Seunghyun a smirk. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me.’

Seunghyun let Jiyong continue to mess around with the keyboard settings as he began to gather his things, still listening halfheartedly when whatever Jiyong was creating started to sound good. Really good.

‘Play that again.’ Seunghyun told him as he came over to the computer screen, clicking record before Jiyong began playing again. Seunghyun played the snippet back, then again on loop, head finding the rhythm.

He started to throw out some impromptu lines, rapping about whatever came into his mind, fumbling for his lyric book when he ran out of things to say. All the while Jiyong watched him, intrigued, an amused slant to his lips. Seunghyun just wanted to make him smile.

When he finally came up short of anything to rap, he posed, throwing out a peace sign.

Hiding his laughter behind his hand, Jiyong latched onto his arm, shaking it. ‘You ruined it, you were doing so well!’

When Seunghyun rolled his eyes, Jiyong shook him again.

‘I’m serious,’ he insisted, curious eyes turning to the soundboard. ‘How do you tape that?’

Instead of heading home like they’d originally planned, Seunghyun ended up in the sound booth with Jiyong’s track playing in his ears. He’d shown Jiyong how to record everything and he’d picked it up quickly, having no qualms against telling Seunghyun to do this part differently or louder or longer until he was satisfied with it.

Half an hour later and they’d created a verse and chorus together; Seunghyun couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun in the studio, creating for the sake of creating and not because Yang was on his back about it.

They sat back together, listening to their masterpiece when Jiyong picked up his lyric book, flipping open to the latest page Seunghyun had been using. Jiyong snorted at what he found there, cheeks turning a little pink.

‘You were being very productive I see.’ he said, turning the book and showing Seunghyun his latest doodle; a spunky looking dragon with ‘GD’ inscribed in bubble writing below it. Yes, Seunghyun was actually a teenage girl.

‘That’s a work of art right there,’ 

He took the book from Jiyong, tearing out the page and scribbling his signature beneath the drawing, offering it back to Jiyong.

‘Here. That’ll be worth something someday.’ 

Jiyong looked like he wanted to laugh at him but took the piece of paper nonetheless.

It wasn’t long later before Seunghyun had to give into his urges.

‘Food?’ 

Jiyong stopped spinning in his chair, humming in agreement.

‘We could go to that place down the street. Where I took you the first time.’ Seunghyun suggested. 

Before, that place used to remind him of his trainee days but now it made him think of Jiyong. A tiny voice in his head told him that maybe if he took Jiyong somewhere special that it might be easier to tell him what he had to say.

They left through one of the back exits and set off towards the grill restaurant. It was customary for Seunghyun to be somewhat disguised but even Jiyong was donning a stylish black face mask that evening, more determined after his injury not to even catch a cold. He tugged it off when it came time to eat, tucking in to the meat that Seunghyun had insisted on grilling for him.

Seunghyun found himself watching Jiyong as he ate, trying to find the right words to tell him. Because there was no easy way of saying it.

After his birthday, Seunghyun would be enlisting for his military service.

It was an inevitability set in stone and Seunghyun had known that it was coming for some time now, he just hadn’t planned for, well, _Jiyong_. Seunghyun knew he had to tell him, time was running out quickly, but he was a coward. He couldn’t decide what would be worse: Jiyong taking it to heart and getting upset or him getting angry and leaving Seunghyun.

Seunghyun realised how he was staring at Jiyong at about the same time as Jiyong did. Jiyong, embarrassed and self-conscious, covered a delicate hand over his mouth.

‘What?’ Jiyong asked, voice muffled through his mouthful of food.

This was it. _Get a hold of yourself, Seunghyun._

‘Jiyong, I…’ Seunghyun began, but his voice failed him, words catching in his throat.

Jiyong stared at him, expectantly, patiently, swallowing his mouthful and poising his chopsticks over his next. 

Like the coward he was, Seunghyun dropped his gaze, shaking his head.

‘Nothing,’ he mumbled, taking the last piece of beef and setting it onto Jiyong’s plate as guilt settled in his stomach. ‘Do you want another drink?’

Seunghyun didn’t want to look at the way Jiyong was regarding him skeptically, not entirely convinced by Seunghyun’s dismissal. 

‘No, I’m good.’

It wasn’t too late by the time they left the restaurant so they found themselves strolling through the backstreet markets, Seunghyun with his mask on and hood up and Jiyong with his own mask back on. They walked together closely, hands shoved in their pockets, Seunghyun trying to quell the urge to reach out and keep them closer. He was still trying to find it in him to tell Jiyong but whenever he tried, the words never came. Seunghyun grew angrier and angrier with himself.

They walked in a comfortable silence, far enough that the thought of making it back to the YG building seemed impossible.

‘Subway?’ Jiyong proposed, nodding his head over to a nearby entrance.

Down on the empty platform, they stood side by side, Seunghyun ditching his face mask into the pocket of his hoodie. He hadn’t realised how late it had gotten, almost 11pm. They waited for their train in much the same way they had spent the rest of the evening, a comparable silence. To outsiders it would look innocent, like two friends on an evening out.

But Seunghyun was greedy. He reached over and hooked his little finger around Jiyong’s, pulling him from his reverie. Jiyong glanced over at him, amused eyes smiling at him. God, Seunghyun really missed his lips when he wore masks.

Hazarding a quick look around the platform just to make sure that it was still as deserted as he thought it was, Seunghyun reached up to tug Jiyong’s mask down under his chin to reveal his plump, pink lips, holding it there as he ducked down to taste those lips, briefly slipping his tongue inside before drawing away as quick as he’d come.

With a boyish grin, he relished in Jiyong’s flustered expression, the shock, the reprimand, but there was still that smile and now Seunghyun could see it in all its brilliant glory. It was risky as hell, anyone could have walked by and recognised him. But Seunghyun didn’t care; he knew his time with Jiyong was limited and he wanted to make the most of it while he still could.

Still feeling playful, Seunghyun pulled Jiyong’s mask out, letting it snap back to cover that smile. 

He snickered manically as Jiyong made a ruffled sound of disapproval, a mutter of ‘ _asshole_ ’ as he adjusted the mask more comfortably, smacking a fist at Seunghyun’s chest for good measure. When Seunghyun wouldn’t stop laughing, Jiyong gave a threatening kick near Seunghyun’s shin as the tune that alerted the arrival of their train echoed round the platform.

They hadn’t spent an evening like that together for a while, not since Jeju. Seunghyun’s schedule had been packed for weeks and it felt like he was always blowing Jiyong off; it was nice to finally have a night to themselves.

Yet, Seunghyun had chickened out. Time was running out. There were only so many more chances that he had left. He had to tell Jiyong, and soon.

———————————————————

The next morning, Seunghyun stepped into the studio to hear the familiar sound of his own voice rapping along to Jiyong’s track. Teddy was slouched in his usual spot, concentrated, gently bobbing his head along to the beat.

He looked over when Seunghyun shut the door behind him, eyebrows raised as he pointed to the speakers.

‘Did you do this?’

‘Just the rap,’ he said as he sat down. ‘Track mixing was all GD.’

‘Seriously?’

When Seunghyun nodded, Teddy appeared impressed. 

‘Shit. Kid’s got talent,’ Teddy said, nodding appreciatively to the music still playing. ‘For real. You think he’d mind if I showed this to Yang?’

Teddy had a point. This track was actually incredible, considering how quickly Jiyong had made it and just the pure intuition he had about how to mesh it all together. This song deserved to be heard.

‘I’ll ask.’

———————————————————

‘Teddy really liked it?’

Sunday morning, Seunghyun lay with Jiyong under his sheets. Propped up against the pillows, Jiyong lay back with his legs spread, bent at the knee and caging Seunghyun in. His fingers tracked through Seunghyun’s hair from where his head rested on Jiyong’s stomach, thoroughly fucked out. Jiyong took morning sex very seriously.

‘Mhmm,’ Seunghyun hummed, catching the pleased little smile that curled at Jiyong’s lips. ‘He said you had serious talent.’

Seunghyun pressed a kiss between the x’s above Jiyong’s naval, attention diverted by the buzzing coming from the bedside table. Red faced, he crawled over Jiyong to reach it, settling down beside him as he picked up, not even having to look at the screen to know who was calling.

‘Hey, mom.’

Jiyong’s head shot up. Seunghyun pushed his grinning face away with his free hand.

_‘Morning honey, how are you?’_

‘Fine. Good,’ Jiyong shuffled closer to lean against him so Seunghyun offered up his arm, letting Jiyong rest underneath it. ‘How are you?’

_‘Nothing new here,’_ his mom said, followed by the sound of her pottering about in the kitchen. She always made chicken on Sundays. _‘Anything new on your end? A girlfriend maybe?’_

‘Mom,’ he whined, sighing ‘No, no girlfriend.’

He promptly ignored Jiyong’s smirk and his wandering hands.

_‘I’m not getting any younger, Seunghyun,’_ she joked as Jiyong’s hand stroked lower on his stomach, not at all phased by Seunghyun’s attempts at batting him away. _‘I just want you to be happy.’_

‘I am happy,’ Jiyong’s fingers were inching down lower. ‘I’m-’

Seunghyun’s breath hitched. He grabbed a tight hold of Jiyong’s wrist until the little punk released his hold on Seunghyun, bringing his hand back up to safer territory. A boner was one thing he did not need while he was _talking to his mother_.

_‘Seunghyun? Are you there?’_

‘Fine, mom,’ he said. ‘Sorry, I almost dropped my phone.’

Jiyong hid his face in Seunghyun’s side, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Oh, Seunghyun would get him back for that.

‘Can I call you back later?’

_‘Sure, sweetheart. Don’t let me keep you from anything.’_

‘Bye, mom. Love you.’

He hung up and playfully shoved at Jiyong. ‘That was not funny.’

‘It was a little bit funny,’ Seunghyun flinched when Jiyong tweaked his nipple, swatting him away. ‘I had no idea you were such a mama’s boy.’

‘You little fucking-’

‘Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?’

Seunghyun rolled him over and pinned him down, kissing him firmly as he thought about going for another round.

An alarm rang out from his phone, reminding him that he had meetings to attend.

Seunghyun began to extricate himself from Jiyong. ‘Sunghoon’ll be here in an hour, I should shower.’

Jiyong gave a sigh as Seunghyun pulled himself up from the bed, shrinking back under the sheets. Seunghyun frowned. 

‘What?’ 

‘Nothing, it’s whatever.’ Jiyong said, wrapping himself further into the sheets.

Seunghyun didn’t believe him. 

When Seunghyun didn’t make any move to leave, Jiyong insisted ‘Just go. I’ll be here when you get back.’

It still didn’t sit right with Seunghyun, how curt Jiyong was being with him. But there wasn’t much time for them to have it out there and then.

Seunghyun came back over to where Jiyong was sulking, ducking down to give him a firm kiss, hoping everything he wanted to say would be understood through it.

He got a weak, reassuring smile in return. It was enough, for now.

‘I’m okay, really,’ Jiyong insisted, fingers untangling from where his hand had grabbed at Seunghyun’s hair. Gently, he pushed Seunghyun away. ‘Go on, or you’ll be late.’

Satisfied that Jiyong was alright, Seunghyun padded out to the bathroom to prepare himself for another long day of running back and forth between interviews and promotions. If his enlistment was good for anything, at least it would give him a break from his crippling schedule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not forgotten about this fic!
> 
> Thank you guys for being so patient, should hopefully be back with regular updates now that school's finished :)
> 
> Let me know what you think about Seunghyun enlisting! Any feedback at all is gold! Your comments have been great so far, they warm my sad little heart ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

‘Hyung, he knows. He’s gotta know. I’m gonna get fired and you’re- I’m so sorry.’

Jiyong’s voice, thick and shaky with panic, came rushing through Seunghyun’s cellphone. He was clearly freaking out and Seunghyun scrambled to find words to calm him.

‘You’re okay. Breathe, Ji. Now, tell me again slowly.’ Seunghyun said, trying to keep his voice soothing and collected when inside he began to churn with apprehension, having a hunch about what Jiyong was about to tell him.

‘Yang wants to _talk_ with me in his office,’ Jiyong explained. ‘This is it, he’s probably found out about us and now he’s gonna fire my ass. Who knows what he’ll do to you.’

‘Don’t worry about me,’ Seunghyun told him. ‘Look, I’m sure it’s nothing. Just go see him and I’ll meet you afterwards, and if it’s bad then we can talk it through together, okay?’

Jiyong listened to his reasoning and seemed to have calmed down a fair bit when he next spoke, breathing evened out.

‘Okay.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, I’ll- I’ll come see you in the studio when I’m done.’

And so Seunghyun waited. Very much impatiently if he had to describe it. He sat alone in his studio, Teddy and Kush not due in until later, giving him plenty of time to ponder and have his worry fester. 

If it was as Jiyong suspected, that Yang had somehow found out about them, Seunghyun knew it wouldn’t be taken lightly. And if the press got a hold of the news, well, Seunghyun could kiss his career goodbye. And then there was Jiyong. Seunghyun could probably get by with his savings, sell off his more pricey possessions. He figured if it got bad then he could move away, go abroad. But Jiyong. If this got out, Seunghyun wasn’t sure that Jiyong would be able to do the same. It made Seunghyun feel sick to his stomach, going over all the possibilities, the worry churning in his gut until he felt like he couldn’t take it any longer.

It seemed like forever until Jiyong came shuffling through the studio door.

Seunghyun got to his feet immediately, meeting Jiyong halfway, a hand finding Jiyong’s cheek as the door fell shut behind him.

Jiyong looked dazed, completely out of it as he let Seunghyun stroke his cheek. Seunghyun feared the worst.

‘What’d he say?’

He watched Jiyong’s throat bob as he swallowed, eyes not meeting Seunghyun’s.

‘He offered me a job,’ Jiyong croaked, clearing his throat. ‘As a producer.’ he added, eyes wide as they finally met Seunghyun’s, as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

Well, that was better than expected. It turned out that Yang’s little talk wasn’t about their relationship after all, but about the track that Teddy had shown him, the one they’d made together. Now that the worry was gone, Seunghyun let himself celebrate Jiyong’s success.

‘That’s great, Ji,’ Seunghyun brought him into a hug, resting his chin on the top of Jiyong’s head. ‘Congratulations.’

Jiyong mumbled into his chest.

‘I’m not so sure.’

Seunghyun’s brows drew together. ‘Not sure about what?’

Jiyong pulled back just enough to speak.

‘I’m a dancer, Seunghyun. I’m not giving that up.’

‘I thought you liked making music, too.’

‘I do, but maybe I’m not cut out for this,’ Jiyong took a step back, putting some space between them, arms hugging himself around his middle. ‘What if I screw up? Then I’m left with nothing, I…’

‘Maybe you can do both?’

The suggestion peaked Jiyong’s interest.

‘Both?’

Seunghyun reached out for him again, finding no resistance as he unravelled Jiyong’s arms, finding his hands and slotting their fingers together, resting them on his chest.

‘I’m sure they won’t just throw you into it,’ he said, giving Jiyong’s hands a quick squeeze. ‘Give it a try, and if you don’t like it then you still have your dancing. You don’t have to give anything up.’

Jiyong smiled at their hands on Seunghyun’s chest.

‘How do you do that? Make everything so simple?’

He released his hold on Seunghyun’s hands, palms sliding up to his shoulder, arms looping around Seunghyun’s neck as he rested his head on Seunghyun’s sternum. Seunghyun felt him take a deep inhale, face smoothing against Seunghyun’s shirt.

‘I just want you to be happy.’ Seunghyun told him, because it was true.

Jiyong’s fingers had begun to play with the hair at the nape of Seunghyun’s neck, but he stopped then, head tilting to look up at Seunghyun, gaze flickering back and forth between his eyes.

‘I am happy.’

Giving a crooked smile, Seunghyun let his eyes fall shut, nose bumping against Jiyong’s cheek.

‘You’ll be great at it.’

‘How do you know?’

Seunghyun could hear the apprehension again, the sound of Jiyong doubting himself.

‘I just know.’ he couldn’t help but smile wider. ‘It’s you we’re talking about. You’re great at everything.’

That, at least, made Jiyong’s smile come back in full force, arms squeezing Seunghyun tighter as they simply stood there for a while. Seunghyun had a hunch that it had a little bit to do with relief of what could have happened that day.

‘Talk to Teddy about it,’ Seunghyun said when they finally broke apart. ‘I’m sure he has some advice.’

———————————————————

After speaking to Teddy and feeding back with Hyunsuk, it was decided that Jiyong would begin work as a producer. He’d be working under Teddy’s supervision to start and it was agreed that he’d still keep his position as on of Seunghyun’s dancers.

Seunghyun was thrilled for him, really, he was. It meant that when Seunghyun had to be in the studio, there was a good chance that Jiyong would be there too. But it also meant that he could be somewhere else, listening in on other artist’s recordings. There time together was getting less and less, more so now that Jiyong was learning to produce and they didn’t have their extra dance sessions anymore.

It was hard on Seunghyun, not getting to see him as much, but he tried his best to be happy when they did have the chance to be together.

One evening, Seunghyun came home from a torturously long photoshoot to an empty apartment. Jiyong wasn’t home yet. Seunghyun checked his phone, rereading Jiyong’s text that he’d be home by nine. It was almost eleven.

He’d already grabbed food on the way home so Seunghyun headed straight to bed, stripping off his clothes onto the floor, then making an effort to kick them somewhat towards the laundry hamper. He pulled on his pyjamas and got settled in bed, scrolling through his emails on his phone before he let sleep overtake him.

The sound of the apartment door shutting woke him not long later. Seunghyun heard the telltale signs of shoes being kicked off and keys being dropped on a counter before Jiyong came padding into the bedroom.

He gave an impish grin when he saw Seunghyun.

‘Sorry, got a bit carried away with Teddy-hyung,’ Jiyong explained, shrugging out of his jacket and fingering the hem of his shirt before yanking it swiftly over his head. ‘I met Kush today, too. That guy’s hilarious.’

Seunghyun gave a weak smile at that. He’d known that those two would get along well.

Seunghyun lay back and watched Jiyong undress, throwing his shirt in the hamper before gathering up the clothes that Seunghyun had left at the foot of it and doing the same. He neatly folded up his jeans, putting them in a drawer of Seunghyun’s dresser that he’d commandeered as his own long ago.

Jiyong was down to just his boxer-briefs when he crawled under the sheets, hands finding Seunghyun easily. Seunghyun let Jiyong manoeuvre them into a position he was comfortable with, both on their sides facing each other with Jiyong pressing his cold feet between Seunghyun’s.

Seunghyun sighed into the two tender kisses that Jiyong pressed to his lips before he yawned out a quick ‘night’ and huddled in closer to Seunghyun, making a small happy noise when Seunghyun’s hand moved to the small of his back to keep them close as sleep found them. This type of evening was becoming the norm for them and Seunghyun wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

———————————————————

It was halfway through October when Jiyong invited Seunghyun on another double date with Minji and Youngbae. It turned out to be a relatively relaxed affair; they got a late lunch at this cafe that Minji had heard good things about and then all headed back to Jiyong’s place to watch a movie.

Minji and Youngbae claimed the couch for themselves, getting comfortable as they curled up next to each other, Youngbae’s arm resting around Minji’s shoulders. Seunghyun got settled on the floor, Jiyong’s ridiculously fluffy rug making it more comfortable than it should have been as he rested his back against the couch. 

Once Jiyong had put in the movie, the opening credits rolling onto the screen, he sprawled out on the rug, head coming to rest on Seunghyun’s thigh. Without meaning to at first, Seunghyun found his fingers running through Jiyong’s hair in his lap. 

Once he’d realised, he tried to subtly pull his hand away but Jiyong wasn’t having any of it, grumbling quietly as his hand came up to grab Seunghyun’s wrist, guiding his fingers back to Jiyong’s head, holding there until Seunghyun gave in and started playing with his hair again. Seunghyun’s lips quirked as Jiyong made a small, happy noise, eyes flicking back to the TV screen.

‘I don’t understand what’s happening.’ Youngbae said towards the end up the movie.

Seunghyun felt Jiyong roll over to look up at the couch. ‘Aren’t you reading the subtitles?’

‘Yeah but I still don’t get it.’

‘What’s not to get? They’re in a dream inside of another dream.’

Youngbae made a disgruntled noise behind him but his silence told Seunghyun that he’d given up. 

Jiyong turned back to face him, holding himself up on his forearm. ‘I’m getting a drink. Want one?’

‘Sure.’ Seunghyun gave his hushed answer, eyes following Jiyong into his kitchen. 

Jiyong called out to Youngbae and Minji too but they declined. He came back to Seunghyun’s side with two cans of coke, handing one over to Seunghyun.

‘Thanks.’ 

Seunghyun leant over as Jiyong was cracking open his own can, pressing a brief kiss to Jiyong’s temple. He heard Minji’s ‘awww’ from above them as he watched Jiyong glare back at her, splotches of red forming high on his cheeks but Seunghyun saw the hint of a smile before Jiyong’s head fell to his shoulder.

When the movie was over, Youngbae still notably confused, he and Minji got to their feet; Youngbae had extra practice and Minji has having dinner with family later. Jiyong was slouched down on the rug, looking like he wasn’t going to move anywhere in the near future so Seunghyun hefted himself up and showed them out.

Seunghyun came back to Jiyong still spread out on the fluffy rug. He had his arms lying above his head, knees bent and feet on the ground. He arched his eyebrow, amused, when Jiyong’s teeth tugged at his bottom lip, eyes heavy lidded, subtly shifted his legs wider apart.

‘We’re not fucking on the floor.’ Seunghyun told him, even as he knelt down in front of him as Jiyong made more room for him between his legs.

Jiyong hiccuped a laugh, hands grabbing fistfuls of Seunghyun’s shirt. ‘Why not?’

Seunghyun’s fingers played with the hem of Jiyong’s t-shirt. ‘You’re insatiable,’ he murmured. ‘I was so pure before I met you.’

His hands shucked Jiyong’s shirt up to reveal more skin, brushing his fingertips below his naval and feeling his stomach jump.

‘That’s not an answer.’ Jiyong said, suddenly breathless, but still preening at the attention Seunghyun was giving him.

‘For one thing, it’s uncomfortable,’ Seunghyun answered, ducking down to spread open-mouthed kisses to Jiyong’s stomach. ‘And you’ll get rug burn,’ 

He slithered up until he was level with Jiyong’s face. Jiyong’s arms came up around his neck while Seunghyun’s lips brushed his jaw. ‘And I need to leave in ten minutes.’

Jiyong groaned loudly, clinging to Seunghyun even tighter.

‘I’m serious. I gotta go.’ Seunghyun apologised as he began to extricate himself from Jiyong’s hold, ending up unsuccessful as Jiyong’s grabby hands stayed latched onto him.

‘Is it always like this?’ Jiyong’s voice was muffled in the crook of Seunghyun’s neck. ‘You being busy twenty-four seven. You’re always in the studio or in a meeting or whatever else.’

Jiyong tiled his head back, regarding Seunghyun with needy, vulnerable eyes.

‘I don’t know, we’re both so busy. I feel like I never see you.’

Seunghyun couldn’t deny Jiyong’s worries as they were so close to his own. He didn’t like it any more than Jiyong did, being away from him so much, being stretched so thin.

‘I know, and no, it won’t always be like this,’ Seunghyun assured him, lips brushing Jiyong’s temple. ‘As for now, work with me a little, okay? How about a compromise?’

That seemed to get Jiyong’s attention as he eyes Seunghyun curiously.

‘I’m listening.’

‘You let me go now, and I’ll see if I can clear my schedule tomorrow.’

He could have Sunghoon postpone everything that he was meant to do, it was the aftermath which would suck, pissing off that many people. But it would be worth it.

Seunghyun’s lips trailed across Jiyong’s jaw as he spoke. ‘We can do whatever you want. I promise.’

‘Okay,’ Jiyong whispered back, nodding as his hands released Seunghyun in favour of cradling his cheeks. ‘Yeah, that sounds perfect.’

Jiyong guided him down into a kiss before Seunghyun sat back on his haunches, Jiyong’s hands falling away as he got to his feet. He brushed himself down and grabbed his jacket, watching Jiyong out of the corner of his eye as he flopped backwards onto the rug, his inked forearm shielding his eyes.

Sunghoon texted Seunghyun to let him know he was outside. Seunghyun laced up his shoes and came back to Jiyong, crouching down beside him.

He carded his fingers into Jiyong’s hair, scratching softly with blunt nails. Jiyong shifted his arm away so that he could see Seunghyun.

‘I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up.’ 

Jiyong gave a nod but Seunghyun wasn’t convinced.

‘I mean it. Get some rest, for tomorrow.’

At that, Jiyong nodded again with a small smile, much more convincing this time. He sat up to give Seunghyun a parting kiss, Seunghyun’s hands itching to hold him there for that extra second when his phone buzzed with another text. 

Their lips separated with a satisfying smack and Seunghyun sighed when he thought about the evening ahead of him, away from Jiyong. He nosed against Jiyong’s cheek and left without another word.

———————————————————

When Jiyong woke up the next morning, he hummed, confused by the hot, fleeting pressure on his neck before he recognised it for what it was. Seunghyun’s lips continued on their journey up to the sensitive spot behind his ear as Jiyong mewled and arched into the touch, still all loose and happy from sleep.

‘So,’ Seunghyun rumbled against his neck, hand pawing at the dip of his waist. ‘What do you wanna do first?’

Jiyong let his head loll to the side to see that it was only eight am. It wasn’t often lately that he got the chance to have a lie-in and Jiyong wasn’t about to squander that opportunity.

And that was how they ended up snuggling in bed until mid-morning, Jiyong spooned in behind Seunghyun like his very own human backpack.

‘It’s all scratchy.’ Seunghyun griped at him.

Jiyong just grinned and continued to rub his chin scruff all over Seunghyun’s shoulder, ignoring his grumbling and dodging kicks aimed at his shins.

Much to Jiyong’s delight, they showered together and then set up camp in the living room, spending most of the day watching the movies that Jiyong liked but knew Seunghyun didn’t care much for. Which was why after four hours of terrible action monstrosities, he let Seunghyun pick a movie for him to suffer through.

When it came time for food, Jiyong wanted to be wined and dined so Seunghyun took them to this fancy-looking place on the top floor of a building in Gangnam. They were able to get a fairly private table with a pretty spectacular view.

Jiyong perused over the menu and then eyed Seunghyun.

‘This looks expensive,’ he said, chewing at his lip. ‘Are you sure?’

Seunghyun smiled easily at him. ‘Order whatever you want.’

They shared a bottle of wine that cost more than Jiyong’s rent and ate their dinner in relative quiet. Jiyong was basking in the loveliness of the evening - the whole day, in fact - and how nice it was of Seunghyun to do this for them.

It appeared that he’d jinxed it somehow because Seunghyun’s phone began ringing. Jiyong watched him look at the screen, frowning, then shooting him an apologetic look.

‘Sorry, I’ve gotta-’ Seunghyun said before answering it. ‘Yeah?’

Jiyong picked up his wine glass, taking a long sip as he listened.

‘I thought I made it pretty clear to scrap everything for today … I don’t care if they don’t like it, I … fine. Alright. I’ll meet you outside.’

Jiyong pressed his lips together, staring out of the window at the city scape below. He’d had a feeling that this was too good to last.

He swirled the wine left in his glass while Seunghyun put his phone away and fumbled with his wallet.

‘Ji, I’m sorry, I can’t get out of it.’

When Jiyong looked back to him, Seunghyun was clearly apologetic, eyebrows pinched together and eyes willing for Jiyong to be understanding. Jiyong couldn’t really blame him.

‘Just go.’ he said, voice void of emotion. Jiyong kept his gaze on the glow of the city lights as Seunghyun set his card down to cover the cheque and got to his feet. While their table was fairly secluded, they were still in public so Seunghyun didn’t do more than squeeze his shoulder tightly before he was dashing his way out of their.

Jiyong pressed his fingers into his eyes to stop himself from crying because then he’d feel even more pathetic than he currently did, sat in a restaurant, abandoned by his date.

He finished the rest of his meal by himself, waving down one of the waiters to get him a drink that was a little stronger, putting it all on Seunghyun’s credit card.

Jiyong was making his way out of the restaurant, thinking of all the things that were better than getting stood up when-

‘Fancy seeing you here.’

Jiyong spun around, eyes widening a little. And against his better judgement, he smiled and took a step back inside.

———————————————————

Seunghyun pointedly wasn’t talking to his manager as he drove Seunghyun home later that evening. Logically, Seunghyun knew that it wasn’t Sunghoon’s fault that the commercial director was a infuriating, entitled ass who wouldn’t wait for anyone, but he had to be mad at someone.

He'd made it _perfectly clear_ that he wasn’t to be bothered today; this was supposed to be a day just for him and Jiyong to spend some time together and Seunghyun had to go and ruin it. He’d had to abandon Jiyong in the middle of that restaurant, to leave him alone with that look on his face like he wasn’t even surprised by Seunghyun’s departure.

Halfway into the journey, Seunghyun could see in his peripheral that Sunghoon was periodically glancing over at him. An adult would’ve been mature enough to speak first, but Seunghyun wasn’t ready to stop sulking.

‘I really am sorry, Seunghyun,’ his manager spoke softly, eyes fixed on the road in front of him. ‘I tried to reason with them, to reschedule but-’

‘It was out of your hands. I get it,’ Seunghyun answered curtly, immediately feeling like a brat, so he added in a less vicious tone ‘It’s cool. I’m not mad at you.’

Sunghoon just nodded and continued driving and soon enough they were pulling up outside of his apartment building. Seunghyun was unbuckling his belt, more than ready to go up there and start grovelling at Jiyong’s feet for forgiveness, but something made him pause and turn back to Sunghoon.

‘I’m going to tell him.’

Sunghoon gave him a questionable look so he elaborated.

‘I’m going to tell Jiyong about my service. Soon.’

‘Proud of you, kid.’

Seunghyun shut the car door with a smile, jogging his way to the elevator inside and willing it to go faster until he was letting himself into the apartment. 

He could hear the hum of the television on low volume as he shut the door and stepped out of his shoes, finding Jiyong curled up in front of it. He was still wearing the same clothes as before, jacket folded and resting over the back of the couch. Jiyong’s eyes flickered over to Seunghyun as he entered before his gaze fell to his lap, hand coming up to scratch absently at his knee.

Seunghyun came to a stop when he was stood in front of Jiyong, dropping down to kneel at Jiyong’s feet. He gave a small smile when Seunghyun took his hand and brushed his lips over his knuckles and Seunghyun felt a bit of hope; he hadn’t messed it all up just yet.

‘I’m sorry I ruined our day.’ he murmured in the quiet of the room.

He looked up when Jiyong squeezed his hand back, the cool press of his ring against Seunghyun’s fingers.

‘You didn’t ruin anything.’ Jiyong assured him, even though Seunghyun knew that wasn’t true. He couldn’t even spend one day with Jiyong without something messing them up.

‘Did you enjoy the rest of the meal, at least?’ Seunghyun asked with a weak smile.

‘Yeah, it- it was great,’ Jiyong’s smile stretched wider. ‘You bought me another drink, by the way.’

Seunghyun let his head drop between his shoulders as he chuckled. Lifting his head back up, he saw that Jiyong was biting back laughter of his own.

‘Oh, did I now?’

Jiyong didn’t say anything, just kept smiling that world-stopping smile of his. And in that moment, with his rumbled clothes and tired eyes, Seunghyun couldn’t help but think _Wow, this guy is beautiful - and he’s **mine**_.

Seunghyun rose to his feet, urging Jiyong to do the same. ‘You’re tired. Let’s go to bed.’

Jiyong switched off the television whilst Seunghyun got all the lights, meeting again under the sheets of Seunghyun’s bed. Jiyong’s hands were on him before Seunghyun had even laid down properly, latching onto Seunghyun and manoeuvring him easily enough until Jiyong was half on top of him, a knee pushed between Seunghyun’s.

Seunghyun keened into the kiss that Jiyong left on his cheek, lips chasing for another one before Jiyong pillowed his head on his chest for the night.

———————————————————

Jiyong moved his stuff from the cross trainer he’d been using over to where the treadmills were, Junghyun in tow behind him. Weeks of not dancing had left him less fit than he was used to being, he was getting soft around the middle and that just wouldn’t do.

‘I still can’t believe you’re gonna be a producer,’ Junghyun said as he set up his machine next to Jiyong. ‘That’s insane.’

‘I know, it feels unreal.’

It really was. He kept waiting to suddenly wake up in his bed and find out that this was all some weird dream, but no, this was actually happening. 

After a while, Jiyong paused the treadmill and grabbed his water bottle, stepping off the belt for a breather. His gaze drifted around the room until he caught the eye of some guy over by the weights. A fellow dancer, Jiyong recognised him as one of the guys who danced for Epik High.

There’d been a time when they’d hung out together with other dancers, but that was a long time ago, Jiyong couldn’t even remember his name. What Jiyong did remember was that this guy was close friends with Heechul and probably still was.

But it wasn’t just recognition that drew Jiyong to him. It was the dirty look the guy was sporting, directed right at him.

Confused, he nudged Junghyun where he was still jogging on the machine.

‘What’s that guy’s problem?’

Junghyun stepped off the machine and followed his gaze. ‘No idea,’ he said, both watching as the guy and one of his buddies began making their way over to them. ‘Looks like you’re about to find out.’

Wiping his sweaty face off, Jiyong took no notice of them until they were stood right in front of him.

The one who’d been glaring spoke up first.

‘Haven’t seen you round here for a while, but I guess it’s fine when _you_ slack off.’

Biting back, Jiyong asked ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Don’t act so innocent,’ the guy’s buddy butted in, sharing a glance between them. ‘We all know you get special treatment because you’ve been cosying up to Top.’

‘That’s got nothing to do with anything.’ Jiyong spluttered.

‘Oh yeah? So it wasn’t him that got you that sweet producer gig?’

Jiyong got defensive, feeling ruffled. ‘No. I got that because Yang liked my music.’

‘Yeah. Sure.’

_Calm down._ Jiyong could be the bigger person, he was sensible enough to realise that this guy wasn’t worth his time, just baiting to get some sort of rise out of him.

But this guy was clearly stupid because he kept going.

The guy gave a dark chuckle with his buddy. ‘I bet you’re fucking him, too, aren’t you?’

Jiyong bit at the inside of his cheek and tried to appear unaffected but this guy could sense that he was getting somewhere.

‘Ran out of gay guys so now you’re going after the straight ones too?’

‘Fuck off.’

‘You gonna fuck your way through the company? Is that it?’

Jiyong struggled to control himself, he wanted to wipe that look right off his stupid face.

‘You know, I spoke to Heechul the other day,’

Something shifted; Heechul was a touchy subject.

‘Why are you so greedy, Jiyongie?’ ‘Was Heechul not enough for-’

_That’s it._ Jiyong wasn’t even thinking, he just lunged forward, ready to punch the guy’s face off but Junghyun held him back. The guy laughed as Jiyong struggled to free himself, him and his friend finally walking away. 

Jiyong broke out of Junghyun’s hold on him, wordlessly gathering up his belongings.

‘Dude, he wasn’t worth it,’ Junghyun said, pausing when he noticed what Jiyong was doing. ‘Where are you going? What about our workout?’

‘Screw it. I’m done.’

He stormed his way out of the gym, not bothering to shower off or get his clothes from the locker room, heading straight for the parking lot. Once he was inside his car, Jiyong chucked his stuff in the backseat and held on tightly to the steering wheel. He realised how fast he was breathing and tried to calm himself down.

Jiyong’s anger gave way to frustrated tears and he wiped them away as fast as they came. 

He slammed his fists down against the steering wheel. 

He hated it, how people like that got to him, but he couldn’t help it. Jiyong just wanted Seunghyun to come and tell him that those guys were assholes and that everything would be okay, that they’d see that Jiyong could be great one his own, without anyone else help or influence.

But Seunghyun was busy. He’d be out filming some damn commercial until later that evening.

Jiyong could still try. He fumbled for his cell, finding Seunghyun’s number and calling, phone pressed firmly to his ear as he sniffed. It rang and rang and rang until he was greeted by Seunghyun’s voicemail.

His grip on the phone tightened before he hung up. Jiyong tossed it onto the passenger seat, running his hands through his hair as he tried to shake the neediness that overwhelmed him. Because Jiyong didn’t want Seunghyun to think he was being too clingy; nobody wants that. And Jiyong wanted Seunghyun to want him. But if he suffocates Seunghyun then he’ll lose him.

Angry at himself for letting his insecurities rule him, Jiyong pulled out of the parking lot and went straight to his apartment where he wallowed in his fury until Seunghyun arrived late that evening.

From the couch, Jiyong heard Seunghyun shuffle through the door and shut it behind him, the sound of his shoes as he kicked them off. 

‘Hey.’ Seunghyun greeted him as he headed towards the couch, shrugging his jacket off and slinging it up somewhere as he went.

Jiyong didn’t answer him. He was still to fired up, an odd mixture of rage and what he knew was misplaced betrayal. Jiyong had been brooding for too long and now he couldn’t help himself.

He felt Seunghyun sit down beside him but kept his eyes trained on the TV straight ahead.

‘Jiyong?’

‘Mm?’

‘Everything alright?’

Seunghyun sounded genuinely concerned. Jiyong tried his best to ignore it, still not looking at him as he gave Seunghyun his standoffish reply.

‘Peachy.’

There was a pause as Seunghyun digested his reply.

‘You called me earlier,’ Seunghyun said. ‘Sorry, I was on set. Was it anything important?’

Seunghyun’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Jiyong shrunk away from it, too wired up from his encounter in the gym to even think about being affectionate.

‘I’m not in the mood, okay?’

Jiyong knew he wasn’t being fair but he was just so _mad_. Being with Seunghyun made everything he accomplished not count for anything. And Jiyong worked damn hard at everything in his life. He didn’t deserve this.

‘What’s wrong? Did something happen? Maybe I can help?’

That really wasn’t helping, being reminded that Seunghyun could just fix everything for him.

‘Can you just-’ Jiyong got to his feet, feeling trapped and giving in to the impulse to flee. ‘I need some space.’

Seunghyun got up as well and tried to follow him. ‘Jiyong, can’t we just-’

‘I can’t talk to you right now.’

Jiyong made it to the bedroom and threw the door shut behind him. He sat down on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, feeling instant regret for blowing up at Seunghyun like that. It’s not as if Seunghyun was doing it on purpose, he was just trying to help, but Jiyong was finding it hard to see anything clearly through this rage that had taken hold of him.

Seunghyun didn’t follow him. He gave Jiyong the space that he’d asked for. So Jiyong stayed in his bedroom, alone, for the rest of the evening until he went to bed early.

Jiyong guessed it was around eleven when Seunghyun braved the bedroom, easing the door open and shutting it behind him. The sound roused Jiyong and he almost forgot that he was supposed to be mad, wanting to pull Seunghyun down next to him and cuddle close. But Jiyong was petty. When Seunghyun lifted the sheets to slide inside, Jiyong rolled over away from him, turning his back on him.

Not long later and Jiyong could feel Seunghyun petting at his hair cautiously. Grimacing, Jiyong realised how much of a brat he was being. Seunghyun didn’t deserve this.

So Jiyong rolled back over to face him, not willing to meet his eyes as he snuggled in close, curling himself around Seunghyun and letting his head rest on his sternum. Seunghyun didn't even hesitate to fold his arms around Jiyong and hold him in tight.

Jiyong breathed against Seunghyun’s skin. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be,’ came Seunghyun’s low response, fingers scratching into Jiyong’s hair the way he knew Jiyong liked. ‘Talk to me. I’ll listen.’

He huffed, wanting to bury himself deeper into Seunghyun’s embrace, to hide the shame he felt.

‘Some guy at the gym, he was talking shit and I nearly punched him,’ he relented, rubbing his nose against Seunghyun’s collarbone. ‘Would’ve don't it as well, if Junghyun hadn’t gotten in the way.’

Seunghyun rubbed up and down his back, making Jiyong feel a little boneless.

‘What was he saying that made you want to hit him?’

It was a whole mess of reasons, a few that Jiyong didn’t want to get into.

‘It’s nothing, it was stupid. I’m sorry for taking it out on you.’

‘It’s okay. Just tell me next time,’ 

Jiyong nodded against his chest.

He could hear the smirk in Seunghyun’s voice when he spoke.

‘Getting into fights. So feisty.’

Jiyong propped himself up on Seunghyun’s chest. ‘ _Nearly._ I nearly got into a fight.’

Seunghyun stroked his thumb under the pout of Jiyong’s bottom lip.

‘What am I going to do with you?’

Jiyong poked his tongue out, swiping it against Seunghyun’s thumb.

‘I could think of a few things.’

Seunghyun kissed him then, drawing Jiyong impossibly close, feeling his chest fill when Jiyong let out a delighted little sigh.

When they’d settled into a comfortable position for the night, Seunghyun added something to their earlier conversation.

‘If something like this happens again and you need to talk to me then I want you to feel like you can,’ he said, fingertips brushing lazily up and down Jiyong’s arm. ‘If I don’t pick up then call Sunghoon - I don’t care if I’m it he middle of a damn TV appearance or something like that. If you need me then I’m yours.’

Jiyong didn’t say anything but the way he curled in closer told Seunghyun that Jiyong was happy with what he’d said. Communication is an important part of any relationship and Seunghyun needed Jiyong to know that he was there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot say how sorry I am that this took so long. I won't bore you guys with the details but I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about this fic!
> 
> This is roughly half of what I had initially planned for this chapter but I just wanted to give you guys SOMETHING so if it's a bit rough or there's any mistakes or anything then I apologise for that.
> 
> The comments have been lovely so please keep up with that! I need to know that people are still interested in reading this!
> 
> Also Big Bang's 10th anniversary! So proud of them :D
> 
> Not sure when I'll be able to update again, I'm heading on holiday to Seoul and then Tokyo/Hiroshima for my 21st birthday and then I'll be going into my final year at uni :)
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading! <3<3<3


	10. Chapter 10

The next day Seunghyun found himself eating lunch in the cafeteria with Minji. It was November already, it would be his birthday soon and he wasn’t sure how to spend it this year.

‘He nags you?’

Seunghyun nodded, pitching his voice higher to imitate Jiyong. ‘ _Leave one more wet towel in my bathroom and you’ll soon be single._ ’

Minji threw her head back, giggling. ‘He’s such a perfectionist.’

‘Totally. Cheaper than a maid though,’ Seunghyun joked, then paused for a moment, catching Minji’s eye. ‘Don’t tell him I said that. I’ll never hear the end of it.’

‘I heard about your day together,’ Minji said a while later, chewing on a bit of chicken. ‘It sounded pretty sweet. Well, until you bailed on him.’

Seunghyun winced. ‘It was out of my hands, Min.’

‘Still, I guess it was karma.’

‘Hmm?’ How was it karma? 

‘You know, you leave so of course he’d show up.’

Perplexed, Seunghyun’s brows drew together.

‘What? What are you talking about?’

Minji set her chopsticks down, swallowing. ‘Shit. He didn’t tell you,’

She cursed under her breath again, regarding Seunghyun with sympathetic eyes.

‘He said he was gonna tell you.’

‘Tell me what?’

‘It really isn’t my place to say.’ Minji said, wringing the napkin clutched in her hands.

‘Just tell me.’ Seunghyun insisted.

‘Heechul.’

Just that one world spelled trouble. That’s all she had to say and Seunghyun felt the blood rushing through him, anger beginning to well up as his face felt hot.

‘What about him? What’d he do?’

‘He works at that restaurant you guys went to. Jiyong ran into him on his way out and Jiyong tried to tell him where to shove it but Heechul convinced him to talk, so they went for coffee last week.’

‘They went for coffee.’ Seunghyun repeated in disbelief.

‘Seemed like they hashed things out. Jiyong said he won’t be bothering him anymore.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Seunghyun said as he got to his feet.

Minji laid a hand on his forearm. ‘Seunghyun, wait. Don’t do anything stupid.’

He ignored her advice and left. He was too angry. How could Jiyong have kept this from him? Seunghyun had to find out why.

 

———————————————————

 

Seunghyun found Jiyong in an empty practice room, flipping through CDs by the sound system. His eyes flicked up and he gave a smile when he saw Seunghyun, but it faltered a little at Seunghyun’s expression.

‘Hyung?’

‘When were you going to tell me?’

‘Tell you what?’

‘ _Heechul_.’

Jiyong’s brow furrowed and he went back to sorting through CD cases, answering matter of factly ‘That’s none of your business.’

‘None of my-’ Seunghyun spluttered. ‘Seriously?’

He gestured to Seunghyun fiercely. ‘This is exactly why I didn’t say anything,’ he shook his head, regarding Seunghyun with earnest. ‘I can handle it.’

‘So there _is_ something to be mad about?’

‘What? _No_ ,’ Jiyong huffed out. ‘Nothing happened. We just talked.’

‘Then why didn’t you tell me?’

‘You’d know if you hadn’t ditched me.’ Jiyong snapped back.

‘I didn’t ditch you. I had to work.’ Surely Jiyong could understand that.

Jiyong continued on. ‘You never used to be this busy. You’re out late, you don’t pick up my calls. What do you expect me to think?’

Seunghyun tried to butt in but Jiyong kept ranting.

‘This is the way it is, I get that. But sometimes I get so…’ Jiyong scrubbed his face with his hand. ‘I know that we’re not- we can’t- we’ll never be-’

So many words were racing through Seunghyun’s mind, all adding up to the same thing. _We’re not like that … it’s not serious … we’re not boyfriends … all of the above_.

Seunghyun pressed his lips together. ‘You think we’re not…?’

Jiyong cast his gaze away, biting his lip and clenching his eyes shut. ‘I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, I thought you didn’t-’ he looked back to Seunghyun, full of regret. ‘I didn’t- _shit_ , I’m sorry, I should’ve just told you when it happened.’

Seunghyun had his answer. He clearly had the wrong idea about what this relationship meant to Jiyong.

So he turned on his heel and began to walk away.

Sounding distraught, Jiyong cried out ‘Seunghyun, don’t. Please. I’m sorry!’ 

Seunghyun heard the squeak of sneakers as Jiyong tried to follow him, stumbling a little when Jiyong latched onto his arm. ‘ _Hyung_.’

Seunghyun shrugged him off and kept going, storming out of the room. He needed some time to himself, to think.

 

———————————————————

 

Two days later and Seunghyun hadn’t spoken to Jiyong since their argument. Jiyong hadn’t reached out to him, probably letting him cool off. As soon as Seunghyun had left the room he’d wanted to go back, to apologise and forgive him, to put the whole mess behind them. But his pride had made him keep going.

Which left him alone in his apartment that Friday night, body and mind fatigued from promotions, sat in front of his TV with only a glass of wine to keep him company. He rolled his eyes at himself. _Pathetic_. He was still brooding. He wasn’t even angry anymore, just hurt. The knowledge that he didn’t mean as much to Jiyong as Jiyong did to him was eating away at him. After how far they’d come, Jiyong still didn’t trust him.

Seunghyun sighed, taking a long sip from his glass.

Tomorrow would be his birthday and he really wasn’t in the mood for celebrating right now. He’d made plans to buy out a club for the evening but now he was seriously considering cancelling everything and wallowing in his own pity party instead. It wouldn’t be the same if Jiyong wasn’t there.

It was nearing midnight when Seunghyun’s phone started ringing. He watched it vibrate on the coffee table, screen lit up with Jiyong’s name. Just the sight of that made Seunghyun’s heart beat a little faster. Why was he calling? Did he want to apologise? Would he yell at him?

Pursing his lips, Seunghyun only hesitated a moment before he answered it.

‘Hey.’ he said, trying to keep his voice even, guarded.

‘ _Hyung,_ ’ Jiyong’s voice came as a soft whisper through the receiver. Seunghyun heard a quiet sniffle. ‘ _Hey._ ’

He wanted to be mad, he really did but-

‘Are you alright?’

Jiyong let out a sober laugh, sniffing again. ‘ _Yeah, I’m-_ ’ a pause, and then ‘ _No, no I’m not. I came over here but … now I’m worried that I might’ve done the wrong thing._ ’

‘What? Where are you?’

‘ _Outside?_ ’

Seunghyun got to his feet, padding over to the window. ‘Outside? Here?’ he peered through the cracks in the blinds, spotting Jiyong’s car parked across the street. He bit back a smile. ‘You’re just sat in your car outside my apartment?’

‘ _I wasn’t sure if you’d let me up._ ’ Jiyong’s voice was small and Seunghyun could picture the way his brow would be scrunched up.

Seunghyun couldn’t stop the smile from coming now, endeared by Jiyong’s hesitancy. 

‘Ji, get up here.’ he breathed.

‘ _Okay._ ’

When Jiyong hung up, Seunghyun went ahead and pressed the button on his intercom that would let Jiyong up to his apartment. He ran his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth in his living room, anxious about how to resolve this mess he’d gotten them into.

A few minutes later and there came a soft knock on his front door.

Seunghyun released a breath, pushing away his tension and trying to get a handle on himself.

Behind the door, Jiyong stood there in an oversized hoodie with sleeves that went past his fingertips, hair a flat mess and face bare and wary behind his face mask. Seunghyun couldn’t deny that he looked adorable.

Seunghyun stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind him as Jiyong tugged off his mask, finding a seat on the couch when Seunghyun offered.

He sat down at a safe distance beside Jiyong, watching him as he wrung his hands between his legs. Seunghyun didn’t like to see him like this, anxious and upset, so he found the courage to speak first.

‘I don’t like Heechul.’

Jiyong gave a sad smile. 

‘Neither do I,’ he said, twisting his fingers. ‘I know I messed up. I should’ve just told you what happened.’

‘I’m not mad about that anymore,’ Seunghyun assured him. ‘You think this thing between us… you don’t want it to be serious.’

Jiyong was quick to shake his head. 

‘It’s not that I didn’t want that, because I do. I want this to last,’ he pinned Seunghyun with earnest eyes. ‘But I’m always the one that rushes into things and I didn’t want to do that this time and scare you off. I was scared of getting hurt. Of losing you.’

‘I’d never hurt you, Ji.’ 

Seunghyun placed a hand on Jiyong’s knee out of reflex, leaving it there when Jiyong gave a hint of a smile. He didn’t want to be fighting with Jiyong anymore, he wanted things to go back to the way they were. 

‘I’m sorry I got mad. It’s just- he really rubs me the wrong way, you know?’

‘Don’t be. You’re right, I should’ve just told you right away.’

Seunghyun smiled a little. ‘This was stupid. I know you wouldn’t have done anything. I think I was just a little jealous.’

‘You don’t have anything to worry about. We talked and he accepted that I’m not interested, that I’m with you.’

‘So we’re good?’

Jiyong smiled back at him, still fiddling with his fingers. A glint of light caught Seunghyun’s eye. Just peaking out of his hoodie sleeve, he could see that Jiyong was still wearing the ring that he’d stolen from Seunghyun.

‘Yeah,’ Jiyong’s eyes were bright, flickering down to Seunghyun’s lips then back up to his eyes, burning hot. ‘We’re good.’

Seunghyun felt the tendrils of heat curling in his stomach from Jiyong looking at him like that. Only a couple days of not seeing him and Seunghyun was having withdrawals, desperate to be close with him again, to press Jiyong’s lithe body into his sheets.

Lips quirking, Seunghyun slid his hand down from Jiyong’s knee to his thigh, fingertips teasing the inside.

Jiyong took that as a go-ahead and lunged over, lips catching the corner of Seunghyun’s mouth, quickly righting it so their lips slotted together. Seunghyun’s hand tightened around his thigh and Jiyong let out a harsh breath through his nose, pressing in closer with his lips and his body followed. He helped Jiyong move his leg as he straddled him, hands finding their place low on Jiyong’s hips.

‘Fuck,’ Seunghyun panted, squeezing his hips, taking in the sight of Jiyong’s flushed cheeks and reddened lips because _Seunghyun did that_. ‘I really missed you.’

Jiyong traced one of Seunghyun’s eyebrows with his thumb. ‘Don’t sulk so long next time.’

A laugh stuttered out of him and Seunghyun swayed in for another kiss, feeling Jiyong’s hoodie-covered hands frame his jaw. Seunghyun had almost forgotten the way Jiyong kissed, how it was always life or death, intense in a way that overwhelmed all of Seunghyun’s senses. That alone made Seunghyun feel stupid for ever doubting him.

Feeling drunk with it, Seunghyun found the hem of Jiyong’s hoodie and dragged that along with his shirt up and over his head, dropping it to the floor behind him. He licked and nipped his way across Jiyong’s chest, over his sternum and up his neck, hands encouraging Jiyong’s hips as they began to rock down. 

Their movements got desperate, hungry, to the point that Jiyong stumbled his way off Seunghyun’s lap, taking him by the hand and leading him blindly to the bedroom, having to stop every few feet to press a kiss to somewhere on Seunghyun’s face.

Stripped of their remaining clothes, Seunghyun got them both under the covers, finally able to pin Jiyong down in his bed. They kissed and rutted together, Seunghyun keeping things slow and controlled until Jiyong got so worked up with his little breathy moans that he rolled them over, settling on top of Seunghyun and grinding his hips down harder and faster. Seunghyun was as eager for release as Jiyong but he didn’t want to rush this. Seunghyun wanted to take care of him.

‘Ssh, baby,’ Seunghyun stilled him with a hand to the dip of his back. ‘Easy.’

He guided Jiyong down, chest to chest, until he was close enough that Seunghyun could find his lips again. Jiyong whined into his mouth when Seunghyun wrapped a hand around both of their cocks, jacking them in long, measured strokes.

Jiyong’s hands found his face, angling it so that he could kiss Seunghyun deeper as Seunghyun worked to bring them both off, his free hand soothing up and down the dip of Jiyong’s back. He felt Jiyong exhale harshly out of his nose when Seunghyun’s palm teased the head of his cock, hands sliding down from Seunghyun’s jaw to his neck and then upwards. 

Nimble fingers found their way into Seunghyun’s hair, clutching at chunks of it, nails scratching into his scalp; above all else he could feel the cool press of the metal of the ring on Jiyong’s finger. That reminder spurred Seunghyun on, turning his languid strokes into something a little more desperate. Jiyong gave a throaty groan, moving to suck on Seunghyun’s tongue.

He could tell Jiyong was nearly there when he hid his face in Seunghyun’s neck, giving jerky little thrusts into Seunghyun’s fist. Seunghyun had been teetering over the edge for a while, holding on until he could make Jiyong come first. He coaxed him on with whispered words, feeling Jiyong’s thighs tense and squeeze around his hips before finally a stuttered moan signalled his release. Seunghyun processed Jiyong’s come on his hand and his own cock and then he was coming hotly between the two of them.

Seunghyun gingerly removed his hand from around their sensitive cocks, accepting the tissue that Jiyong passed him from his nightstand with a smile. He wiped away most of the mess on his hand and between them and threw it aside, tugging up the sheets that had fallen low on Jiyong’s back earlier. Jiyong snuggled in close, more than happy with his current position on top of Seunghyun. 

He was about to ask if Jiyong wanted to stay the night, which was a stupid question anyway because it didn’t look like Jiyong had plans to move anytime soon. Before he could ask though, Jiyong had propped himself up to peer over at the clock on the nightstand, 12:52am blinking at them in the dark.

The flat of Jiyong’s hand pushed Seunghyun’s damp hair back, ducking down to press his lips to Seunghyun’s cheek.

‘Happy birthday.’

The mumbled wish made Seunghyun’s chest shake with laughter, hugging Jiyong impossibly closer. Seunghyun couldn’t even remember why he’d been so worried, how he could have ever doubted Jiyong’s feelings. The tenderness in his words was clear and his touch was so potent with affection, no one could deny it. It made Seunghyun certain that this, right here, was where he wanted to be.

 

———————————————————

 

The next morning, the light streaming in from between the shade slats had Seunghyun rousing. He squinted his eyes open, blinking a few times until they adjusted to the light, finding Jiyong there beside him for the first time in a few days. Seunghyun had really missed waking up to this. 

Seunghyun watched him sleep for a little while, watching him snuffle against the pillow beneath his cheek, savouring this time that he looked so peaceful and content. Because Seunghyun knew he had to tell him today, he’d put it off for far too long already.

When he’d had his fill, Seunghyun leant over towards him, nosing at Jiyong’s cheek, littering kisses over his face until Jiyong woke up. Seunghyun would describe the sound he made as a purr, a smile easing onto his face before Seunghyun covered it with his lips.

‘Happy birthday.’ Jiyong said between kisses, fingers worsening Seunghyun’s bed-head.

Seunghyun held himself up over Jiyong, regarding him with a grin. ‘I’m gonna make you breakfast.’

Jiyong laughed. ‘It’s your birthday. I should be making _you_ breakfast.’

‘We both know why that’s not happening.’

Cooking was where Jiyong’s seemingly infinite perfection ended.

So Jiyong followed him out of bed and into the kitchen, sat obediently while Seunghyun set about making them something to eat. Seunghyun tried to stay cheerful through breakfast but he couldn’t help being abnormally quiet as he cleared the plates away. He was trying to think of the best way to say it, to tell Jiyong about his service.

‘What’s up?’ Jiyong asked him, picking up on his sombre mood. ‘You’re not old enough to be getting sad on your birthday.’

Seunghyun gave him a weak smile. ‘I just need to talk to you about something.’

‘Okay.’

Jiyong looked expectant.

‘Let’s do this in the living room.’

Seunghyun led him over so that they could both sit on the couch.

‘You’re not sick, are you?’ Jiyong asked, jokingly, but a bit of concern slipped through into his voice.

‘No, nothing like that.’ Seunghyun assured him. Jiyong visibly relaxed a little but remained eager to hear Seunghyun out.

Seunghyun rubbed at the back of his neck, anxious. ‘Don’t get mad, okay?’

Not fond of being told what to do, Jiyong responded ‘Let me hear what you have to say first and then I’ll decide if I’ll get mad or not.’

Letting out a slow breath, Seunghyun psyched himself up.

‘I know I should’ve told you this sooner but I didn’t want it to put a downer on everything. I didn’t know whether we’d still be doing this now,’ ‘I tried so many times to just _tell_ you but I chickened out.’

Jiyong was still patiently waiting, expectance turning to wariness.

‘My contract with YG, it-’ Seunghyun cut himself off, huffing. _Just say it._ ‘I’m enlisting.’

It appeared that he’d stunned Jiyong into silence. He stayed quite for almost a whole minute.

Jiyong chewed on his lip, then asked ‘When do you leave?’

‘In two weeks.’

Jiyong’s face scrunched up and he looked away. Seunghyun’s stomach lurched.

‘Ji, I’m sorry,’ Seunghyun wrapped him up in a tight hug and Jiyong didn’t resist. ‘It’s not forever. I’ll be back before you know it.’

‘You should’ve just told me.’

‘I know, I’m sorry, I’m a fucking idiot. I tried to tell you so many times but… I didn’t want to hurt you.’

‘Why’s Yang making you go so early?’

And so Seunghyun explained how he’d joined the military when he was eighteen, back when his debut was still questionable and Seunghyun hadn’t felt like waiting around for something that might not even happen. He hadn’t been on the frontline or anything but it had given him a purpose, made him feel useful. He’d been there for seven months when Yang decided to push his debut forward far enough that Seunghyun had had to pull out of the military.

Now, Yang wanted him to get his enlistment out of the way. His time in the military meant that those months would be knocked off his service.

‘So you’re not serving the full term?’

‘I’ll be gone a little over a year.’

‘I guess that’s not so bad.’

‘I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t think things were so solid between us,’ Seunghyun said, lips brushing Jiyong’s knuckles. ‘I know it’s going to be hard, and I’ll completely understand if you want to call this thing off-’

‘Dumbass. Of course I’ll wait for you.’

‘I can’t tell you how much I want you to,’ he said, holding Jiyong’s hand to his cheek. ‘But I don’t want us to make promises that we can’t keep. I don’t want you to feel obligated to wait for me.’

‘Shut up.’ Jiyong told him, defeated

‘I’m just saying, a lot can happen in a year. You might change your mind about this. I’m hoping you won’t but-’

‘I said shut up, Seunghyun,’ Jiyong said, covering Seunghyun’s mouth with his hand. ‘I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. We’ll figure this out later, but right now we’re together and it’s your birthday so we’re gonna have a good time, okay?’

Seunghyun nodded beneath Jiyong’s hand.

Jiyong brightened a little ‘Good,’ he removed his hand, getting to his feet. ‘Come on, get up, we’re going out.’

Seunghyun and Jiyong spent the rest of the day together. Along with Sunghoon, of course.  
They went and had lunch at a fancy, overpriced Italian restaurant downtown with Minji and Youngbae followed by a trip to some of Seunghyun’s favourite art museums around the city. Throughout the day he and Jiyong didn’t mention anything about his service, he was pretty sure that Jiyong wasn’t talking about it on purpose so Seunghyun wasn’t going to bring it up.

YG had bought a club out for the night for Seunghyun’s birthday and everyone was invited. He and Jiyong met up with Minji and Youngbae again on their way there, inside the music pounded through him as the lights flashed around them. They set up camp in a booth off to the side, people wishing him a happy birthday as he went. 

Youngbae stayed standing as everyone settled down around the booth. ‘So shots for everyone?’

He’s phrased it like a question but didn’t hang around long enough for anyone to respond, so Seunghyun guessed that they were all having shots then. 

‘You feel any different in your old age?’ Minji asked him, voice raised to be heard over the dubstep song that was playing.

‘Not at all,’ Seunghyun responded. It was true, just like any other birthday he didn’t feel much different than the year before. If he was honest with himself he did feel more of a weight on his shoulders, his impending service and what that meant for him and Jiyong. But he put on a brave face for his friends. ‘Well, maybe a bit wiser. And of course more handsome than last year.’

Jiyong scoffed ‘Oh, share your wisdom with us, ajeoshi!’

Seunghyun shoved his shoulder as he laughed, hand lingering maybe a second longer than it should have.

Youngbae returned with a tray of shots and that’s when the party really started. Once they’d all gotten a few drinks inside them everyone began to loosen up, laughing and joking and having a good time. 

As the night carried on, people came and went but Jiyong stayed by his side in the booth. Occasionally a few girls would try to goad him into dancing with them but Seunghyun would always shake his head and politely decline. 

Soon enough Teddy and Kush found them and plied them all with more alcohol. Seunghyun was so caught up in a drink-off with Kush that he hadn’t noticed that he’d lost Jiyong at some point. He looked around the room for him but came up short.

‘I’ll be back in a sec.’ Seunghyun told them as he got up and began making a beeline for the bathrooms.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind him he felt a sense of relief, the relentless pounding of bass drowning out to a dull thud. The place was empty except for one locked stall, so with countless shots of vodka clouding his mind Seunghyun went over and knocked on it, hoping it would be Jiyong.

Seunghyun heard a bit of sniffing and the telltale sound of the toilet paper dispenser rattling along with a shaky call of ‘Just a second!’ 

It was definitely him. Seunghyun waited and soon enough the stall door creaked open and Jiyong went to step out when he stopped short of colliding with Seunghyun. Seeing Jiyong’s red-rimmed eyes had Seunghyun’s chest clenching and he didn’t hesitate long enough to think of the consequences of getting caught when he walked Jiyong back into the stall, shutting the door behind them both.

Jiyong clung to him immediately, lithe arms around his neck and burying his face in Seunghyun’s shirt, crumpling against him. So Seunghyun just held him there, soothing him with quiet murmurs that it was okay, no other words needed to be said right then, they both knew why he was upset. All Jiyong needed was to be held, and so Seunghyun stood there with him in the dank bathroom cubicle, hugging him tightly against his chest until Jiyong lifted his head, eyes a little less red than before.

‘People are gonna come looking for you.’ Jiyong murmured, hands sliding down from playing with Seunghyun’s hair to rest more comfortably on his chest.

‘I don’t care,’ Seunghyun brushed the back of his fingers against Jiyong’s cheek. ‘We can go home if you want.’

Jiyong’s head shook. ‘I don’t wanna ruin your birthday.’

‘I’ll have other birthdays,’ Seunghyun assured him, pulling a half smile out of him. ‘I can get Sunghoon to drive us home, it’s no trouble.’

‘I’m fine, really,’ Jiyong insisted, inching up to press a kiss to the corner of Seunghyun’s mouth. ‘Come on, I wanna see you try and outdrink Youngbae.’

Whilst Seunghyun knew that Jiyong was still clearly upset about this whole thing, if that was the way he wanted to cope with it then who was Seunghyun to stop him.

‘Don’t you mean succeed at outdrinking him?’

With a forced grin, Seunghyun allowed himself to be led out of the empty bathroom and back out into the noise of the party.

 

———————————————————

 

A few days after his birthday and Seunghyun told Sunghoon that he was happy to now tell the rest of the staff about his upcoming service, although he wasn’t sure ‘happy’ was quite the right word.

He tried to be as concise and honest as he could, explaining the situation to his dancers as they stood in front of him in the practice room. Among them Seunghyun found Minji, immediately wishing that he’d broke it to her privately like he did with Jiyong, but sadly things were moving faster than Seunghyun would’ve liked. 

He watched as she looked to Jiyong first, finding him staring off to the side instead of looking at Seunghyun as he spoke. Then her gaze flicked over to Seunghyun in true disbelief. 

‘I want you guys to know that your jobs are safe here. Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean that you should have to as well. We’ll find something to keep you all busy while I’m gone,’ Seunghyun carried on. ‘Other than that, I just wanted to let you all know that it’s been a pleasure to have you as part of the team, and I am truly going to miss all of you.’

Once he was done, the rest of the dancers chattered amongst them, a few coming over to hug Seunghyun and wish him well. When he figured it had been long enough that it was polite enough to leave, Seunghyun slipped out of the practice room to head to see Teddy. No doubt that he’d already heard through the grapevine about his service but Seunghyun still wanted to tell him himself.

‘Seunghyun!’

It was Minji. He turned round only to stumble back a step as Minji shoved him.

‘You knew. You knew you were going to have to leave and you still went on with it.’ she hissed, shoving him against for good measure. Seunghyun let her take out her anger on him, he knew he deserved it.

Jiyong stepped in before she could shove him a third time. ‘Min, it’s fine, I told you. He’d told me a couple days ago, we’re working things out.’

Minji relented, allowing Jiyong to pull her back. Frowning still, she carried on. ‘Fair enough, but I’m not done with you,’ she said, frown softening into a grimace. ‘I can’t believe you’re leaving.’

‘Neither can I,’ He gave a half smile. ‘I really am going to miss you, Minji.’

They’d gotten into the habit of spending most of their lunch breaks together, of course he was going to miss her. He considered her one of his closest friends.

‘I’m gonna miss you too, you jackass.’ she mumbled, yanking him into a bone-crunching hug. For a small girl she was pretty damn strong. Seunghyun held her just as tightly.

 

———————————————————

 

Seunghyun only had a couple days left before he had to leave. And in that time he planned to soak up as much of Jiyong as he could. But he also had to get his affairs in order too, although, admittedly Sunghoon helped a lot with that. Seunghyun finished making his rounds of friends he had to say goodbye too, finishing it off with a trip to see his mom. 

‘Seunghyun, honey, it’s so good to see you.’ his mom greeted him at her door, pulling him down for a tight mom-hug.

‘Good to see you too, mom.’ he grinned, stepping inside as she shut the door, puttering back to the kitchen where some of her famous cooking was already bubbling away on the stove.

‘Not long now is it.’ she said, stirring the pot as she spoke.

He nodded, taking a seat at the counter. ‘Tomorrow morning.’ It sounded so much closer now.

‘You’ll enjoy it, you know,’ she insisted with a smile. ‘And it’ll be over before you know it.’

Seunghyun wasn’t sure about that but he didn’t fight her on it, he knew she meant well.

‘So,’ she trailed off, setting her spoon down. ‘Are you leaving anyone behind? Hmm? Someone who will miss you?’

_Here we go._

‘Mom,’ he sighed. It was no use pretending anymore, she had to know there was something going on. He just couldn’t tell her the whole truth. ‘There might be someone.’

‘I knew it!’ she exclaimed, startling Seunghyun enough to wobble the stool he was sat on. She then pointed her spoon at him accusingly. ‘Why do you keep everything from your mother!’ 

He tried to explain, picking at a hangnail. ‘It’s… delicate, mom. Not many people know, I don’t want to get into it.’

‘Can I at least know her name?’

It should have been a simple question, but it wasn’t a simple situation. Seunghyun couldn’t do this to her, especially not now when he’d be going away and wouldn’t be able to mend things.

‘Mom, I said I didn’t want to talk about it. Can we just drop it?’

‘I just want you to be happy, sweetheart.’

‘I am.’

‘Then I’m happy, too.’

On his way back from his mom’s place, Sunghoon took him back to the YG building where one of the hair and make up artists cut his hair. It wasn’t a full on buzzcut but it was close enough.

Jiyong wasn’t a fan of it when he came back to the apartment that day.

‘You look weird.’ he whined as Seunghyun set a hand on each of his hips, tugging them closer.

‘Thanks.’ he laughed, planting a kiss on him.

He felt Jiyong fingers brushing up against his head, tugging at what was left of his hair.

Seunghyun batted his hand away ‘Stop it!’ he said, chuckling at Jiyong’s frown.

Jiyong surrendered his attack on Seunghyun’s hair. ‘Sorry,’ he said with a laugh, eyes wistful. ‘Just makes it all seem too real.’

That’s exactly how Seunghyun felt when he was sat there having it cut, watching pieces of his hair fall away until he was left staring at the reflection of a soldier.

He picked Jiyong’s hands up where they’d fell to his sides, bringing them back up to his hair, letting Jiyong mess with it as much as he wanted if that would make him happy.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up again.’ Jiyong murmured, fingertips massaging into Seunghyun’s hair.

‘Don’t apologise, it’s happening, we should talk about it.’

Jiyong shook his head adamantly. ‘We’ve talked about it enough. I just want to make our last night together special,’ he gave a forced smile, taking a step back. ‘Speaking of which, I should get back to the stove.’

At that, Seunghyun seemed to finally register the smell of food drifting in from the kitchen. 

‘You’re cooking dinner?’ Seunghyun asked, albeit a bit hesitantly. He came into the kitchen and looked warily at the bubbling pot on the stove. 

Jiyong couldn’t contain his laughter as he stirred the pot on the stove. ‘You can calm down, I didn’t cook it, I’m just heating it up. Sunghoon said your mom dropped by earlier with it.’

A bit more relaxed, Seunghyun took a seat at the counter, watching Jiyong continue to stir until it was done. He poured it into two bowls, setting one down in front of Seunghyun. Seunghyun took the first bite and sighed happily, savouring the taste of home. 

They ate together at the kitchen island, dumping the washing up in the sink to deal with later, and finally settling together on the couch. With a bit of persuasion Seunghyun opened up a vintage bottle of red from his collection, pouring them a glass each.

Jiyong sipped quietly. ‘I know I said I didn’t want to talk about it but,’ he stared down at his glass like it had the answers he needed. ‘Are you sure that the time apart won’t ruin this?’

They’d talked about this at length since he’d told Jiyong he would be leaving. Jiyong was adamant that he’d wait for him and that they could pick up where they’d left off but Seunghyun didn’t want to have Jiyong spending that time just waiting for Seunghyun to come back to him.

‘I honestly don’t know,’ he admitted. Because Seunghyun wasn’t totally sure if they could handle this, with everything that had happened recently they weren’t exactly in the most stable place of their relationship. ‘But I know that I don’t want you to stop living your life because of me. I want you to go out and have fun, and I want to hear about all the songs you’ve created when I get back.’

Jiyong gave a bashful smile at that. ‘I can do that.’

Seunghyun closed his eyes as Jiyong leant in, giving himself over to the kiss, trying to engrain every detail into his memory. It was selfish of him but a small, greedy part of Seunghyun hoped that Jiyong would be right where he left him when he eventually returned, that they could pick up where they left off. A larger part of him wished he didn’t have to go at all, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Tomorrow morning he had to leave all of this behind.

Pushing everything to the back of his mind, Seunghyun focused on kissing Jiyong, all his worries melting away until all he could think about was how much closer he could press Jiyong’s body to his. 

 

———————————————————

 

When Seunghyun woke up the next morning, he felt numb as he climbed out from the warmth of his bed and into the bathroom to shower. Stupid thoughts cropped up in his mind like _this will be the last time I wake up in that bed, this will be the last time I use this shower_ , and it was all silly because he wasn’t leaving forever, he’d come back after his service and everything would be just as he left it.

Jiyong stirred in his bed as Seunghyun came back from his shower. From the bed he watched Seunghyun dress, eyes following Seunghyun’s fingers as he buttoned up his shirt. Seunghyun thought about the night before, how they finished the bottle of wine and ended up in bed not long later. They’d taken things slow, both seemingly wanting to savour every featherlight touch and every tender kiss. It was already a treasured memory.

When Seunghyun had finally dressed and gotten all his things together, Jiyong got up, Seunghyun’s too-big t-shirt drowning him, coming down to just before his boxers ended. He padded over to where Seunghyun stood in the doorway, fingers coming up to brush imaginary dust off his shoulders, flattening his shirt on his chest. Seunghyun’s heart clenched as Jiyong gave a sad smile, throwing his arms around Seunghyun’s neck and hugging him tight, mumbling agains this shirt.

‘I want you to stay.’

Seunghyun hugged him tighter to him. ‘So do I,’ he tried to stop his voice from cracking but it was a lost cause. ‘It’s just you, Ji. Remember that.’

Jiyong nodded against him, wiping furiously at his cheeks as they pulled apart enough for Seunghyun to kiss him. It was short and sweet, Seunghyun not wanting to drag this out longer than it needed to be. He knew Sunghoon was waiting downstairs, wanting to give them time to say their goodbyes. 

He let Jiyong dive in for another last kiss before he had to pry his hands away, pressing a kiss to each of his knuckles. And then Jiyong let him go, letting Seunghyun walk out of there and leave him for the next however many months.

‘Ready to go?’ Sunghoon asked from the drivers seat, having put Seunghyun’s bags in the trunk.

Seunghyun nodded, tugging at the cuff of his shirt.

Sunghoon squeezed the steering wheel. ‘Well, if it counts for anything, I’m gonna miss you, kid.’

‘It counts for a lot,’ Seunghyun said, giving him a fond smile. ‘I’ll miss you, too.’

Giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder, Sunghoon started the engine and they drove off towards the airport and the plane that would take him to the place he’d call home for the next year or so. Seunghyun may have left him back there in his apartment but he was still carrying Jiyong with him, a prominent but welcome weight in his chest. He tried to blink away the tears as he watched in the wind mirror, the image of his apartment building growing smaller and smaller until it was gone and then he had to stop looking back; he had to keep looking ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than expected. I know it’s been forever since I last updated, no other excuses except for being busy with life. Finally graduated uni with a First (woop!) but still unemployed aha so plenty of time for me to catch up on writing this. 
> 
> The next chapter will have a time jump to after Seunghyun’s service so look forward to that! :)
> 
> I may not have been updating but I still get notifications whenever you guys give kudos or comment so thank you for that. Please continue to comment and let me know what you think of this chapter! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this more for myself but figured I'd post it and see if anyone else wanted to read it.  
> Feedback is much appreciated.


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